For those who love a married man.....

Hi everyone !,

it's been a long time since I wrote here....my last post was in the old forum, about three years ago when I met the boy that became then my boyfriend! But now, I'm in love trouble again.....I met a man (he's my bunnies'vet) and I really feel like he could be the man of my life....I can stop thinking of him....I enjoy the time I spend with him, we talk a lot, he's funny and very nice....but.....he's married.....:& and got kids....three kids
I would appreciate opinions from someone who has been in situations like this before......do you think I should give up now? Or maybe should I see how things go on.....Should I try to make him understand the way I feel....?
I'm a bit puzzled and need support
Good vibes to all of you !
Lily

 

yes!

Sorry, but attached people are not to be messed with. You can irrevocably screw up their relationship, and make him hate you. What about his kids? Causing a reason for divorce/a huge rift between the parents is never a good idea (kid of divorce speaking - it's not like they're gonna turn into psychopaths, but stability helps kids when they're growing up). And his kids may end up blaming him for the divorce, since he'd have been the one who strayed.

Unless he explicitly tells you that his wife and him have an open relationship, and you get that backed up by his wife, DON'T TOUCH!

 

I've always thought that if a man or a woman betrays his/her partner, their relationship is already screwed up.....

 

if a guy betrays his wife, who's to say that he wont betray you too.

 

No one could tell it for sure, obviously. But I believe that if someone feels something for someone else, it is always worth to give it a try....I mean if you feel it is so strong to make you forget your partner.
I have never betrayed my boyfriends and I wouldn't do it now (I forgot to tell I have a boyfriend, too , even if our relationship is almost over for other reasons) , but I think that if I feel something for another person , that means I'm no more in love with him.

 

Eek, run away! if he's willing to cheat on his wife, he'll cheat on you too. lots of men (and women) out there-dont waste time on a fish thats already filletted

 

So let me get this straight...you're both cheating on your respective partners?! I'm sorry but neither of you deserve the people who are probably in love with you. That may sound extremely harsh and cold but i've been cheated on and so has my long term boyfriend, everyday I have to make him trust me, even though it was his ex that cheated and not me.

You are just trying to justify your actions by saying "if somebody feels something for someone else it's worth to give it a go" All you're gonna do is end up destroying a marriage, screwing up 3 kids and do you think the kids would be able to accept you, even if you two did get together? they're going to hate you for breaking up their parents marriage

Wake up

<rant over>

 

Definitely agree, stop trying to make up all these ideologies for yourself which seem to make it ok to "go after" a married man. Don't be that girl. Don't be a homewrecker or a whore.

-Litos

 

Thanks for saying that Phoenix, thought I was being harsh to her, but obviously not!

 

you never said this guy is ready and willing to betray his wife for you. It sounds like YOU are trying to tempt him away from his wife, rather than let them have the opportunity to try and fix whatever may be wrong with their relationship.


If you didn't want people's genuine opinions, if you just wanted us to say "hey, yeah, cheat on your current bf and convince this guy to cheat on his wife, everything will be a-ok!", maybe you shouldn't have posted this on an open forum.

 

Well something tells me we were all thinking it anyway. Fuck being politically correct I'll say what I'm thinking, I like honesty. If people think that is being an ass sometimes... so be it.

Either way you slice it, trying to justify going after a married man no matter if he wants a divorce or not or blah blah blah.... you are just horrible if you do that. Not that the man isn't either but it goes both ways.

-Litos

 

I was once in a relationship with a married man. We dated right up to the moment he told me he was married and had 3 kids. He gave me all the lines... how his marriage was love-less, and how he was going to leave her.
And, it took me a minute to decide that I wasn't going to go there. It obviously wasn't a happy marriage, but that was beside the point. Its one thing to be involved with a married man... you are both adults, but all the rules change when children are involved. Do you want to be forever thought of in those kids hearts as "the bitch who wrecked my parent's marriage"? Because that is how they would think of you. And, everyone can say that divorse doesn't effect a child, but that's a bunch of bull. Divorse does affect the child.

Maybe their marriage isn't good... but stay out of it. You don't want the families pain weighing on your heart. If the marriage ends without your involvement, then you are in the free and clear. But, until then, don't get involved.

 

I don't know why women get attracted to married men. Maybe its the idea of someone who is stable and willing to commit to someone.

Either way it's a bad idea. Think of your fellow sister before you think of your own heart. If thier marriage is bad, let him take care of that before starting anything with you and even in that case you're still the rebound chick.

He has kids. Think of them. Think of her. Think of him. Stay away and only accept him if you see the divorce papers.

Don't be a homewrecker. sounds like you care about him a lot, it would be so much sweeter and solid if he takes care of his unfinished business first.

 

i was getting to know this guy like two years ago, and by the time he told me he's married, i kinda let myself not to go further, and not to let my feelings drive me nuts. cause i really enjoyed the time we've spent together. he's very nice, loveable person, humorous and such.
we were so much in love i guess you could say, and he married his wife because of some reasons but still.. i decided not to get in there. it wasn't easy but trust me, get away with what you think its the best way, it is not always the best for you and him or his family.
i prefer a single man there's so many single men out there, maybe one or two for you! so i'd like to say that you should just stop it

 

I was in love with a married man once... I never acted on it. I was afraid of what'd happen, of being turned down, and indeed as others said, I couldn't possibly win... because if he'd left her, that would've meant he wasn't the kind of solid, strong man I'd fallen in love with... I just prayed that somehow they'd split up over something totally unrelated so I'd be able to make my move then, but of course that didn't happen...

 

please don't get involved with someone who's married. save yourself the hearbreak (and destroying a family)...
seriously, back off, there's plenty of single guys out there.

 

I used to like a married guy, but only because his wife was so mean and I wanted him to be happy.

I never said anything though. no use getting myself in a sticky situation. Plus I have a great guy. I guess I just wanted someone- anyone- to treat this guy right.

 

I am so embarassed to admit this and I don't think I've ever told anyone but I was involved with a married man breifly a few years ago who was a customer where i used to work. It started by me listening to his marriage problems and then we went out once as friends and ended up kissing and messing around later. I felt really bad he had a kid and a step son adn I felt stupid for falling for the whole my wifes a cold bitch and comfort me bit when he really meant my wife doesn't put out because I'm a jerk and I really need to get laid. i wouldn't get involved with him even if you don't get hurt you're going to feel so scummy about yourself.

 

Hi everyone,
I would like to say that I was not trying to justify anything and I appreciated every opinion about this, at least the ones based on the things I said: thanks to everyone,but I just don't understand why so many of you got so angry saying don't be a homewrecker and things like this : nothing has happened between us, I have not tried to tempt anyone , I obviously would like to start something with him only if both of us have cleared his own situation, and none of us is cheating the partner! The meaning of my message was just see if other people had a similar experience where both have cleared up the things and started a normal relationship .....that's what I meant. I don't think that I would "tempt" him away from his wife! , but I seriously beleive that if a person doesn't love his wife / her husband anymore it has no sense to stay together just for the kids, and in my opinion, if a person desires another one who's not the partner, there's a strong possibility that he/she doesn't love his/her partener anymore.
I'm not saying I know for sure that he doesn't love his wife anymore!, I'm just saying that , in my opinion, an honest person, if attracted by someone else, should surely tell the partner that something is wrong in their relationship.
Anyway thanks again to everyone , and sorry for my bad english !

 

aw, hun DON'T DO IT. please. it's so shitty to step into someone else's relationship. it tarnishes your life. if ou cheat on your love and he cheats on his, that's just sad. everyone feels the urge to explore a bit, it doesn't mean they don't still love their spouse. perhaps ya'll might hang out a bit, with the wife, suggest a four way? if they're like that.

the only experience i have with this is as the child of the cheating man. i don't hate the woman he left my mother for, but she's never been able to look me in the eye.