Let's talk.

Han me too. My sat nav is more geographically challenged then me. I get lost leaving the house. Hahaha

 

A satnav with the Jigsaw Killer's voice from the Saw movies will sell well.

 

LOL what a brill idea.

 

A wild and windy night !!! - Wind blowing the dustbins around and also rocking cars which trigger the car alarms.

Its now 08.40 and is still dark enough to need a lamp on for me to see what I'm doing and its also very wet and still very stormy.

Live Cam Brighton Pier

 

The weather has calmed down today.
I stayed up so late last night!

 

A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven." Mary answers, "He's in my heart." Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!" The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this. "Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"

 

Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail. Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."

 

One day johnny's mam asks the class, "Which part of the human body goes to heaven first?" Suzi said, "Well, it's our hands. We do all the good things with our hand, so they are bound to go to heaven first." Teacher says, "very good. Anybody else?" Rocky says, "Well, it's our heart. We think all the good things with our heart, so it's bound to go to heaven first." Teacher says, "very good. Do you want to say something, Johnny?" Johnny says, "Our legs go to heaven first." Teacher, not getting any clue says, "How comes it, Johnny?" Johnny says, "Yesterday night, I was passing through my parent's room, & there was my mom,-legs high in the air- screaming 'Oh God! I am cumming'"

 

Little Johnny and his two friends are sitting on the front porch one day. The first one says, "My Daddy is so cool he can eat four Burgers at one meal." The second one says, "That's nothing. My Daddy can eat six." Little Jonny starts laughing and says, "My Daddy can eat light bulbs." The other two boys tell Jonny that he is out of his mind. They ask him why he thinks His daddy can eat light bulbs. Little Jonny replies, "Last night I was passing my parents room and my Daddy said, 'Honey, turn out that light I want to eat that thing.'"

 

Teacher: "Johnny, write a sentence ending with the word hand." Johnny: "My penis in your hand." Teacher: "What?" Johnny: "Sorry teacher, I forgot to put a space between pen is."

 

BREAKING NEWS:

Mathematics Teacher Arrested at JFK


A school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a pair of compasses, an ancient wooden device called a “slide-rule” and a calculator.



At a morning press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths instruction.



“Al-Gebra is a problem for us,” the Attorney General said. “Al-Gebra has terrorized many young people for years. They derive solutions by means and extremes and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values”.








“They use secret code names like ‘X’ and ‘Y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns,’ but we’ve determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.”



As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, “There are 3 sides to every triangle.'”



When asked to comment on the arrest, President Trump said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.”



White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

 

I have noticed a marked facial resemblance between:

1 Bill Deedes - a former Editor of the 'Nasty party' Torygraph,



2. the Meekon (a character in the Eagle's 'Dan Dare' comic, and



3 Dominic Cummins.

 

Time for bed said Zebedee.

 

Strangely poignant for me..I have Parkinson's Disease,last month I fell out of bed and it took me an hour to regain enough muscle tension to get up off the floor..a case of my life imitating art...lol ..

 

Sorry to read that darling.
We all luvs ya. X

 

Thanks Candy,it's just part of life for me ,I have good and bad days just like everybody else..
Cheers xx

 

If you have a bad day.
You PM me for support. X