Hi everyone, i need some advices about my bi boyfriend

Hi everyone. I introduce myself . My name is Rosa and i'm italian. Six months ago for fun I downloaded grindr with a friend (the gay dating app). There I wrote to a man and told him I was a girl. He immediately told me he was bisexual and wanted to go out with me. We started dating but he never tried to kiss me or anything. A month has passed while he kept using gay dating apps and after giving me my first innocent kiss he confided to me that I was his first girlfriend in 34 years of life.
He told me he had two relationships with two men that tragically died, the both of them.
We kept dating, and he kept using gay dating apps ( sending is bottom pics to everyone there) .
I told him that i didn't want an open relationship and that i wanted him to stop using the apps. He didn't seem to want to go further with me or be intimate. Anyway we continued dating and he became my boyfriend. We started to make love.at first once a week...then once a month and then nothing. I found him on the gay dating apps again sending pics.. i forgave him thousands of times. Then his lack of desire for me became a problem. I talked to him about that and he told me he is not that kind of person that needs sex, that he is in love with me and that is love, not sex. That he had a lot of sex with men ...but for fun, with me is different, is love! He told me i am obsessed about making love and i am not normal.
He told me that the fact that his boyfriends died was a lie. He told me he's been sexually abused by a man ( i think is a lie too) he told me he never really cheated on me but only on the apps. (In the apps he kept asking for places where to meet. And he used every kind of gay dating apps or site, never caught him searching for women) So..i asked him.. are you sure you are bisexual? And he replied..yes because I'm in love with you and i can't explain that. So ..it is possible?? To be bisexual and to don't want intimacy with the person you love and keep looking for men ?? I feel humiliated, sad and angry..and i don't know what to think. I hope someone has some suggestions. Thank you for reading.. bye everybody !!

 

Walk away honey. Nothing good will come of it. Especially if you're looking for intimacy. Ciao

 

I suppose it's possible, but I'd say it's highly unlikely.
And from what I read, my best advice would be to drop him like a bad habbit.
If he is in love with you and doesn't want to be intimate with you, because he alledgedly isn't a sexual person, then why would he be on dating apps, and even if he is given the bennefit of doubt, then being in a relationship with someone is about both giving and taking, it's a compromise, and he should accept and respect you need or want to be intimate with him.

 

There's nothing wrong with polyamory. But it's not for everyone, and you don't owe it to anyone to accept it in your life if it's not for you.
If you need intimacy and your boyfriend is not giving it to you, you should consider if you want to put the effort of maintaining a relationship and not get the intimacy you crave. It's not the most important thing in a relationship, but it is important.
Plus if he lied about something as significant as the death of past lovers, what else will he lie about? If he's not ready to get close with you that's one thing. But if he's being false that's not a good sign.

Your boyfriend's bisexuality is not necessarily an issue. His dishonesty is.

 

He may very well love you, but it doesn't sound to me that he's in love with you. Perhaps it happens, hell Freddie Mercury was in love with a woman his entire life without having sex with her. You're wanting and needing sexual intimacy which he's clearly not interested in with you. I'd walk away from him now.

 

once he pushed me and I started crying saying why he doesn't want me, he told me I'm pathetic and crazy that the more I ask him to make love the more he denies it, I felt like I was dying inside ... he went back to home and started searching apps again. Then he called me crying and saying he is a monster. He cry still today telling me to love him and to be with him...that sex will arrive when we will live together...i think at this point he has some mental issue...it is not possible..when i kindly tell him..i love that's why i desire you and it normal...he screams against me..an horrid situation..

 

I'm not a person for polyamory, but i think a person that accept this has even intimacy with the official partner... Not only with others..he denies it to me...

 

Yep, that's the only thing that make me thing is gay...the anger and humiliation with which he denies intimacy to me...telling me I'm crazy, and I'm not normal..

 

I think you are right...

 

Yeah I think he is gay to, not sure though why ccan't admit it, and about you not being normal for wanting to have sex, I have to go hmmmmm I think it's the other way around.

 

Take it from me. I had a girl friend back in my 20s that was gay. In her own mind she was Bi but she was gay. I knew better and should have walked away. She broke my young heart. One of the chapters in my life that I cringe when I think about it and how it screwed my life up. She had me thinking it was my problem. So what you are experiencing I feel I've been there.

 

I'm sad you experienced that too. It is the worst feeling in the world..inside you, you hope he/she is bi so you know that their nature allow them to love you, but if their gay..they will never love you back. And i don't want a man without love..he tell me..i don't know what i am and i don't want to face the problem and ask questions to myself, i just know i love you. I think is is lying with a purpose of having a family. He told me i want to stay with you if you don't care of how many times we make love..at this point i don't think is the fact that he doesn't accept himself, he wants to use me in some way... he's an evil person. He is not in his 20s..he is a 34 years old man...

 

I'm thinking the same thing, just can't get my head arround what he wants to use you for

 

I live in south italy, in some family homosexuality is not accepted. When he was younger and his family knew about who he was they tried to cure him. Since then they lived hiding the truth. But you can't tell to someone who define himself as bi that he is not. Maybe he really is...or maybe not..

 

I know what you mean, maybe by his definition he is bi, which he may define differently from you and that would be problematic.

Ahhhhhh now some pieces to the puzzle begins to fit

 

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Thank you for your kind reply.. I don't know if i can save something,iove him, but i need the prove he really is bisexual to save something..i can't do nothing if he is gay..and i really don't understand at this point..

 

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No he's gay a bi man loves his woman A bi man will worship your body just attracted to cocks. Loves to suck with or without his woman . enjoys sharing his wife. And will eat a lovers creampie .most but not all love anal fuck and be fucked or Pegged . But his wife always cums first

 

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