Catch phrases for masturbation

??

 

Pullin the pud, wasting babies.

 

Dayummm, you are older than dirt, and I thought I was ol grandpa.

 

Rhyming slang for wank.

 

Ok

 

Schaub the knob.
Flick the clit.
Run a pole up the hole.
Tweek the taint.
Finger the man in the boat.

 

Playing her one string banjo.

 

I can't believe nobody has said
Jacking off.
If your Uncle Jack was on the roof
and couldn't get off, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

 

Chokin' the chicken

 

Knock one out
Bash one off

 

Brushing

 

Have a wank

 

Launching one over the bow.

 

A Sherman (as in Sherman Tank).

 

Tommy tank

 

The code word my wife and I use is simply 'relaxing'. Like she'll say 'I got to relax before I left for work.'

 

Just plain wanking for me,

 

No tub, no gain, rub it to gain.

 

Who is around? I got it on.
Give me the hole, I fill it forthwith.
My junk is moving, what is under the gusset ?

 

I have to "Purge"