Jerks Or The Nice Guy?

i was only kidding ----> oh thats sarcasm should have been ---->

I know what you mean , but not being a wonderful speller and you using high falootin (yeah were in the old wild west now) words like 'elicit' you start confusing me.. i knew what the thrust of the thread was about so i just went with that ..

What happens when your a nice timid guy in the inside but a confident asshole on the outside ?.

 

I LOVE the nice guys. Mean rebellious guys are too much stress. I like the sweeties. Theres just not a lot of them out there.

 

Well im a "nice" guy and its all fun. I don't have a problem with confidence. Although i love to make everyone happy i will totally stand up for myself (missing out on a job worth £70000 for my dreads)....even though id loose them tomorrow if my nursing jobs asked me too....etc.
All my girl mates told me the answer, cos i though it was the whole jerk not jerk thing. Infact its cos im too happy and open. Ill meet a total stranger and ill tell them anything about myself. Supposedly girls love mystery in a man which you don't get weith me. im just outgoing and happy with who i am so why hide anything. also supposedly girls expect guys to lie automatically, and as i am totally truthful....which im proud of.....alot of girls don't believe it anyway. So yeah "Faded" i think you don't have to be a jerk to get girls, be yourself and someone will like you for who you are. or take on the jerks idea of confidence but take away the corny jerkness. id rather be me and proud and honest and single, but with loads of amazing mates, than change who i am so i can get a girl. If all your after is a shag dude then just go out and get some random girl. But im guessing if you are a "nice" guy you want someone nice yourself anyway. You will have to wait it out i think. YAY niceness anyway. But yeah nice guys try and be nice and confident cos as long as you like yourself then you shouldn't care what anyone thinks! *hugs for all*

 

You already know the answer! Also, you must bear in mind that what many a woman means by a 'nice guy' is, in reality, their idea of a perfect guy. This is usually an asshole who, from time to time, treats them ok. Of course, few women admit this, so they will say things like 'someone who is confident and keeps me in line', etc etc. There are not many women who do not find out and out assholes VERY attractive.

IF you are too 'nice' in you attitude to women, you will not win the race, in fact you will not even be in the race in the first place! This is a lesson you will either learn the hard way or the easy way.

It is illogical, by male standards; you would think women would love to be treated with consideration, kindness and respect. Indeed, they SAY that's precisely how they do want to be treated. However, we live in the real world, and it isn't always fair.

You would do worse than consider the following tranlations from male speak to woman speak. For example:

Arrogance - Confidence

Casual disregard - respect

Asshole - Bad boy (my favourite!)

Worse, however, is if you suddenly behave more how they would like you to. They hate it if a hitherto nice guy suddenly finds his balls, because then they have, effectively, lost the 'nice' guy! They like nice guys for being, well,.... 'nice', for confiding in, having cups of coffee with, having a laugh with (this sound familiar?!).....but they will fancy the asshole 9 times out of 10. A pity, but that's what the overwhelming majority of them want, dude.

 

I like nice guys, but the nice guys are also jerks at times so it works out.

 

sorry, hon, you've ticked me off. i can be a total flaming raging bitch. my last boyfriend got stomped on by me too many times. this makes me very sad, but the spineless baby just couldn't stand up for himself. now i have a totally sweet man who can turn to me when i've turned psycho and say "what the fuck? don't talk to me like that." i need a man who's not afraid to "keep me in line." he's neither arrogant, rude, inattentive or an asshole. so quit being bitter that women prefer strong men.

 

I'm usually called;agrogant, jerk , asshole etc but it never has hurt me with girls.But why whould I want to be anyone but me ?(nice?)I'm not going to fake nice to get in a girls pants.I'm going to tell her I want in and shes says no I'll go after a different girl.

 

being a nice guy myself, i must add taht the usual problem with nice guys is that we are not as umm courageous(?) as the jerks..

EDIT:

maybe i should start reading the whole tread before i post...

 

I think when we're younger, the bad boys are what women want because they are a challenge and they are more exciting. As we grow older we realize, nice guys are where it's at. Women tend to grow tired of the games after awhile and that's what hte bad boys bring...games.

 

*Giggles at LotusBlossom* Don't worry, I'll catch you someday *winks*

 

Make up my mind on what???

Hmmmm???

 

Its true that girls usually like the bad/jackass boys but the same could be said about guys and bad girls. It really just depends on what kind of person your dealing with.

 

Seems to me that women always end up with guys YOU think are jerks because she's with HIM and not with YOU. Come on! All of us men are basically pigs. We start out all nice and sweet and lovey dovey...and then we get what we want and holy shit! We realze that maybe she isnt the perfect girl we though she was and we turn into SUPER ASSHOLE! Ladies really, lets be honest here! How many of you have not started dating a guy because he was SOOOO SWEEET!! and two months later he is a complete fuckwad?

 

ooh, oooh, my second of two boyfriends I've ever had was like that!! Am I a winner yet?

well, he wasn't outrageously sweet, but he sure did go from great in bed to not giving a shit about how I felt about sex and what gave me pleasure. bloody hedonist. oh well, he ain't getting any more of me, ever.

 

Never met a girl who said she liked jerks more than nice guys. It makes them feel much more sophisticated to say the opposite. Nevertheless, most of them still end up hooking up with the jerks. I'm ok with it, since I don't like hypocrites anyway.

 

See what I mean? We are all nice guys when we want to be. But we are all major jerks too. Yep! ihmurria wins the GRAND PRIZE! An all expense paid trip to Pascagula Mississippi!!!!! Youll enjoy fine dining at Bud's Tavern and first class accomodations at the Pascagula KOA campground(tent not provided). When youre not enjoying swatting insects, you can enjoy our nature tour and photograph all the inbred locals you want!! thanks for playing!

 

Politically incorrect it may be, but the reality is that girls like men who can take charge. They like to believe they will be looked after - call it evolution, culture, whatever but it's there. This is not saying that women are weak or need men - only that they prefer a man who can be strong when necessary. Women don't fantasise about curling up with Pee Wee - they think of Fabio (the most beautiful man in the cosmos), perhaps catching him in a tender moment after he has defended her against a bunch of sailors trying to take her virginity - or are those mills and boon books incorrect?


A concept I came across once is the 'nice-arsehole' - which is the ideal guy women want... i.e. - Be nice but don't take any crap.

 

hehe...sailors taking her virginity! Thats classic. Only from Austrailian Girls! Man do they love it when we pull in to port!

 

Women like a man that's a challange. A woman will take a man that is a negative challange over a "nice" guy anyday. What guys need to learn is to be a positive challenge. go check out Doc Love's articles on www.askmen.com also check out www.doubleyourdating.com


These websites have changed my life. The advice may seem illogical but then again who ever said that attraction is based on logic? Try applying the advice and you will find that it works!

 

EXACTLY. that's perfect.

my dave never pretended to be super-sweet, though. i had the romancer older brother who ended up totally destroying every girl he was with. so i'm naturally inclined to be suspicious of the guys who act really really nice, never want to watch sports or go out with their buddies. it's bullshit, or they're faking and they'll get over it. i preferred a honest man who never acted more romantic than he really was. i have the same man i fell in love with.