My gf is real sweet but she has bi polar...just some questions...

You can; Give her space, let her relax and when you think it may be time to approach her- OR she is headed for a difficult time, smoke a bowl with her and see if that helps. I have suffered with depression and it helps me a great deal- to mellow out. Just an idea.

Another option, is - do something really heart felt and romantic for her. Something she will really love and cherish you for!!

Best Wishes!

 

she has only smoked a few times and hasn't in a year cos a friend died after smoking a year ago. he smoked, traveled deep into the woods in the dead of winter, I guess he got lost and ended up freezing to death. so understandingly, she wants to wait and smoke with someone she trusts. But I am sure she will try soon. also, her family has a history of alcholhism so she doesn't do it much and only buzzes...plus she doesn't want to fall into dependency for smoking...like smoking to make you happy when you are having your lows, she wants to make sure that doesn't happen.

 

smoking has saved me from suicide on more than one occaision.

 

Bi-polar is one of those terms that doctors and psychiatrists use, because their training leads them to a bias that all behavior has a hereditary, neurological, physiological basis. But many people are labeled bi-polar or ADD or dyslexic, etc., when enviornmental factors have contributed heavily to their behavior. (Doctors usually overlook the fact that environmental experiences affect the wiring of the brain.) The quasi-medical/psychiatric classifications are not exactly rock-solid. If your gf isn't very friendly a lot of the time toward you, I'd either not commit to her (and find someone more nurturing & friendly), or get her to go to counseling with you as a couple (so that you can learn to get along better, communicate better, and help each other in meeting both of your needs). If she's not willing to make some efforts with you to get help, and only wants to blame her behavior on this quasi-disorder, then I'd say, "Find a new gf." Good luck.

 

I am there with this, and with the last reply, this is no easy manner, I'm ttired of these fits, and feel very drained after one of these episodes. Is the person worth it, well, we have been in a relationship for six years, and have gone through quite a few things together. Its very heartbreacking. and unless, he is very serious about getting help, I am not sure how long this can go on.

 

My fiance and I both have bipolar disorder and it can be difficult to deal w/. I see both sides b/c I know how helpless I feel when a mood swing takes over and he isn't himself. I also know what it's like to have severe episodes that I can't control and I try to break it off w/ him b/c I am totally irrational and not myself. There are things I've done in the recent past that I can't really talk about b/c they are really embarrassing, like kicking my chair across my room or slamming my head against a wall in total frustration. I missed an appointment w/ a professor and when he asked me how I was feeling, he said something like "I had a couple low days this week too." I didn't want to be disrespectful but I also didn't want to tell him about how my breaking down was different than "feeling low." I don't want people to think I'm crazy when I get like this once or twice a year. It's not me and I'm scared people will think I'm crazy. I'm kind of scared to talk to my suitemate b/c I think she could hear me scream and break down when I was at my lowest.

The best thing you can do? Don't judge her. Accept that what she may be saying has nothing to do w/ you. When I am stable, I apologize for the horrible things I might have said and always tell my fiance that when I act that way, it isn't him; it's MY problem. Remember that but don't say that when she's having an episode b/c it can trigger painful emotions. My fiance said that once to me while I was screaming at him and I burst into tears b/c I felt so guilty that I couldn't control myself and depression turned that into--> I'm a horrible person, I'm a bad person, I hate myself for hurting you. Be there through the yelling and the crying. If it gets too hard for you, perhaps get couples counseling or turn to someone in the medical field for advice. My fiance talked to his therapists and doctors about my condition (I had never been like that before while we were together) so he had a better understanding of what was going on.

About the cause- yes, doctors believe it is a combination of genetics, environment, and brain chemistry. If you don't have the genetic predisposition, you won't develop bipolar disorder. If you have it, you won't necessarily have the disorder. It can be brought on by many different factors such as stress, family situations, and other environmental causes. The reason environment may not be talked about so much is that it is impossible to decide what factors are involved. It could be anything.

Peace and love