not ready for sex yet

Hey..um ok im a virgin ok..haha and i know im not ready for sex yet..and i dont care if people think im stupid by my decison..but um, i have a boyfriend now and we've been goin out for like a month, and we got to 3rd base which is cool. but anyways, a few weeks in the heat of moment, he asked me 2 have sex and i said no. and then i talked about it later to him , i jus said 'look im jus not ready for sex ok' and he said OK. then like i hung out with him a few days ago, and we were messing around again, and he asked me AGAIN! and i was like NO! i want to talk to him about it again and lay it to him straight, but im not sure what i should say??? i mean i know he really likes me for who i am, but damn. ?????

 

he prolly thinks you are just waiting for a little bit.

Tell him to wait and you'll let him know when you are ready so he stops asking.

BTW, I think it's awesome you are holding out!

 

Just tell him the way you feel. Tell him you like him but aren't ready for it yet.

Hes your age right... he can't help it... he'll probably ask again and again, you just gotta be strong and keep telling him no...

Kinda like a puppy asking for your dinner.

Maybe you should get a shirt that says NO on it.

 

yeah, guys are guys.

Don't take it as him not repsecting you or loving you because he asks.

I gotta beat my man with a stick sometimes.

 

headymoechicks right, I'm sure he respects you, but its hard for him to go aginst his nature, especially when things get hot.

Maybe you should bring a little squirt gun or something, it worked for me when my neighbors dog tried to hump my leg. :H

 

show him this forum post, let him know how you feel about it, and make sure he knows its not because of HIM, that is the first thing that is going to come to his mind, trust me..

 

Sit him down and let him know that by waiting a while, you mean more than a week. That you are a virgin, and you want for the experience to be really special and (maybe) be in love with that first person you share yourself with.

Just, lay it out fact for fact. Don't be fuzzy about it, because a lot of teenaged guys try to figure out how to get into your pants the fastest. If he isn't cool with you waiting a while, then he really isn't worth your time.

 

Hit him in the balls the next time he asks.

 

I think it's great that you want to wait and aren't giving into the pressure...and especially that you're not giving into that "guys have needs" thing that SO MANY guys seem to think is a legitimate excuse for bugging girls to have sex. The thing is, if he can't respect your decision can't stop putting pressure on you, then he probably isn't the one for you. As a side note, why not find other things you can do together besides making out?? Like go out some where, do something fun where you can enjoy eachother's company without putting yourselves in that space again - let him see that there is more to a relationship than just the hot 'n heavy!

 

LOL - well put!

I agree that you should try to not take insult or offense from him asking. He DOES want to achieve that magical thing with you, that linking of people that is achieved through sexual intercourse. That's natural, and as such is very forgivable. He is doing the understandable thing of "checking back later" because he wants this closeness with you so bad, and he probably figures that since you're doing everything else, sex would be a natural progression from there, and that you're likely to be getting more and more willing to do it.

If you articulate to him very clearly why you're holding off, that would do a lot better at getting him to be patient and wait -- as long as there is true reason for him to expect that he will get it eventually, and before very long. If you don't plan to do it kinda soon (within a few months) you should put the relationship down, because clearly this is what HE wants in his life right now, and with you I might add. It would not be fair to make him be waiting for something in vain.

Chances are he just doesn't understand why you're waiting, especially if you get hot-and-heavy in every other way. (Me, I don't quite get that, either.) If that's the case, you need to help him understand, or you risk losing him. Make the effort; clarify to him what your feelings are. Then you'll know if he's truly for you or not, as a bonus.

-Jeffrey

 

hey thanks everyone!!! i mean yah, i know hes a guy..and we do pretty much about evertyhing 'else' besides for sex....i told him yesterday that im not ready for sex and he just said hes sorry and he wont ask again. and i said 'is that all u care about??' and he said no and he really truly cared about me. i beileve him tho. well im like his first girlfriend...so i guess he doesnt really know what to expect. and next time i hang out wit him..well we always just mess around..but tihs time im not. we have just hanging out too! thanks everyone!!!!!!!!

 

Yes we all have to beat our men of.. but if hes gonna constantly ask her (im dont know if its everytime their intimate of everyonce in a while), she should be able to get mad at him... theres only so many times you can answer the same question... but to clear that up.. tell him that youll let him know when your ready...

 

maybe he thinks that seeing as you are already fooling around that you might want to go further. Just tell him that you will let him know when you are ready. Guys are just persistant like that sometimes.
but if he is getting mad or rude about it you should just tell him to get lost.

 

here we have an excellent example...
Not everything is done with intent mattzdope.

But you need to tell him to stop asking, and it's also important to clearly state that if he wants sex soon, that he should leave and find a different girl.

 

well..i duno i dont know why but im fine with everything else...i just think sex is a big step and it changes alot of thangs. and i told him 2 stop and he said he'll stop asking! i guess i can kinda be a tease sometimes..but damn. haha thanks everyone.

 

y'all should just reach an agreement, he can ask as much as he wants, and you can say no as much as you want.as long as you dont mind him askin, and he dont mind you sayin no.

 

This is a good point.

I myself don't see much of a reason to stop short of intercourse when a couple are already suckin' and rubbin' all over the place. What is the big distinction? You're already "intimate" -- sharing nakedness and body fluids and actions of all sorts... To me, if you're doing all that, there is no reason for not going "all the way" because it's only some arcane, semantic distinction that makes it "more sacred" in some way.

-Jeffrey

 

if you think it's a big step then stick with it and do what feels right to you. intercourse is the sacred act of procreation, and many religions request that you refrain from it except when you want a child. everything else is just play. guys get over blue balls as easily as they get it. if the guy doesn't respect your decision then he does need to find someone else. by the way you're very smart and it's great you've got a guy who respects your decision.

 

Not all teenage guys are hell bent on getting secks.

 

Well yeah, like Castratis...

But for any healthy teen guy, sex is always a concern.

I think a 17 year old guy not being interested in sex would probably be a sign of major depression.