All right I'm just curious...I love it when guys know they're sexy - they don't have to be a model, just have to have the right attitude - and I prefer men who take control and dominate the sexual relationship. Not necessarily in everyday life, but during any sort of sexual activity, it's very much a turn on. And no, absolutely not talking S&M or kinky stuff...I'm just referring to general dominance in bed, where the guy's in control doing what he wants, asking for what he wants, talking a bit dirty, even playing it a little rough (ONLY a little). I know plenty of other girls who like it that way as well. However, I was wondering from a guy's perspective - do YOU generally like to dominate and have control over the girl you're with or is that more a turn on for women than it is for men? And again, this isn't in regards to anything kinky. Just normal foreplay, intercourse, whatever. Is it awkward to sort of take on that role or is it something you enjoy and normally do anyway? Would love to know from a guy's point of view.
Y'know.. Sometimes you want Chinese food, sometimes you want burgers and fries.. It depends on the mood. I have been with women who wanted direction, and I've been with women, who could'nt have cared less where I wanted to go - they were driving the bus. Both were fine experiences.
Ah yeah there's plenty of women who like being on top I would not be one of them though! I really like guys who know what they want and take it (without being psycho rapists, you know what I mean), and I like putting myself in the guy's hands when it comes to sex. But for me the hot part is when THEY like being in charge and know without a doubt that they are. Hmm...need to get laid again...it's been a bit too long.
I love the feeling of empowerment in giving my love physical pleasure, but I am not a domineering type of guy. I want to give such that my love can let go and give back and work towards bliss with each other. The best sex for me is when it is 100% emotional and loving. I really lose that connection and feel very uncomfortable when its just carnal 'fucking'. Physical pleasure is indeed a major part of sex. Whenever I do have sex with someone I love, I do want to please them physically, but the reason why I am doing it is for them to feel my love for them. While I am 'doing it' I want for them to feel my heart and care for them - me showing that I want to be with them. Dominating someone in bed throws things very much out of balance for me. I have no problem leading the dance and going at it frantically, but exerting my physical force over my love, 'having my way with them', spanking them whatever have you, just throws things off for me. I always want my lover to feel 100% safe and secure with me and I don't feel that I can convey that message the way I want to while I am physical dominating them.
wow.. i know this was a question for the guys, and this is a bit off topic, so please don't shoot me but i loved a lot of what dhs had to say... and just wanted to point out that some women, me in particular, love to feel dominated by a man they really feel safe and secure with. they kinda go hand in hand. I wouldn't want to do any kind of crazy stuff with somebody i didn't trust, and even when not going into anything extreme (s&m, bondage, etc) sex is still sooo much more amazing when you love the person... feeling that love and connection while sharing something so intimate as a deep sexual desire, especially one that you might be slightly embarassed about... being able to get that kinky with somebody can take a LOT of trust for some. *sigh* i loved that you pointed out the importance of emotional and loving sex... and some ppl just aren't kinky... hmmm.... okay i think i'm done aaaaaaaand back to topic.............
Haha no tigerlily I know what you mean, it's totally not off topic. Like I said though, I'm absolutely NOT talking kinky...no spanking like dhs mentioned, I'm not into stuff like that. And for me also any sexual act ALWAYs has to be with someone I feel perfectly comfortable with and trust. But for example - there's this guy I'm really into and would love to get involved with or even just mess around with. And he's a very important person to me. In everyday routine, we hang out and are friends, and that's how it should be. When it comes to sex itself though, I'd want him to shift to a more dominant mode...it's a personal thing, it's just something I (and a number of girls I know) happen to prefer. Not saying he should be really nasty or anything, just more forceful - but in a connected way because we know we care for each other already. If that makes sense Anyway, that's my own opinion, was just wondering how guys felt about that kind of thing...if being sexually dominant tends to be natural or if it's not as common as a lot of women might think.
Possibly my Brain's chemistry is outside normal parameters as my read of the opening Post is with one misstep/a deviation from an ambiguous path, One may fall off the Earth's edge. Remember the Earth is flat...*g* The words extreme/kinky/BDSM in this (and other Threads) remind me of an old question - 'Who's to say what is Sanity?' Signed, Confused
I think a lot of the appeal in being dominated is it shows how much the person wants you (at least, in my brain they're closely connected). they want you, they want you now. They want you to do action x, move to this position, and just take you.... that's how my brain interprets it. Some guys like dominant girls because they're aggressive, it shows how much that gal wants to be with them. Some gals like dominant guys because it makes them feel desired. Or at least, I do. Ahaha, booze makes me redundant. Anyways, I've always wanted a partner who would dominate me in bed. Anywhere from simply being in control to bondage. Alas, my city seems to be scarce in that sort of boy and I'm really not patient enough to deal with a LDR.
Exactly, ihmurria...that's the way I feel. Not into bondage at all, but it's the same idea. I like guys being very aggressive because it shows they know what they want - and if what they want is you then it's hot as all hell because they're just going to take it and you're ready to give it. Sorry that kind of man is scarce in your town
I'm feeling it should be a give and take dominance thing... He should be dominant when he feels like being dominant, and he should relingquish dominance to her the moment she indicates she is dominant... This way your love making will seem like you are creating and building a slow passion explosion... On the other hand... the worst thing is to have to tell a female, "Hey! some movement here would be nice! so I don't feel like I'm fucking a corpse!
I like to have some control, but I much prefer for my girl to initiate sex and or screwing around etc. I just feel bad about it when I am always the one who initiates sexual activity; it makes me feel like I am trying to push her into something she isn't really in the mood for. I talked to the girl I am with now about that, and she tells me she does that to tease me, and that 99% of the time when I initiate sex she is already thinking about it/in the mood. She does start it more now, which is good. Back to the point, I like to take control of a girl and give her what she wants during foreplay more, then during sex, I try to let her have control so she can enjoy herself the most that she can handle.
"Part of ebracing a Woman's Life, day to day, is that you best bloodywell get into her moods, and it better be Now!... or you aren't doing all you can to make it a Real Powerful Relationship, and you don't deserve Woman's pleasures..."
