the nature of insects

i was mad by the lack of repsonse to my poetry thread, and i really wanted this one to be seen, so i'm reposting it.

the nature of the insects
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the poetry of particles floating,
flowing, entangled, intertwined,
combined, suspended in mid-air...
incense, in a sense, has a scent
i can dig. like a twig, on a branch,
in a warm summer breeze. in the trees,
hypotheses, flows on like the sea.
i can see society, has a thing or two
to learn. in a way, i kind of yearn,
to educate the populace. second guess,
is a mess, it's as good as yours or mine.
intertwined, like the fine incense.
innocence, in a sense is the nature
of insects. and the birds, and the bees,
everything right down to the trees.
we're all the same, with different names,
and different games to play.
in a way, someday, everyone will have
their say, everyone will have to pay,
for the mistakes of yesterday...

 

A Beautifly​

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Just watch a butterfly flutter by​

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Resplendent in its fragile finery​

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Descendent of our common birth​

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Infinite in its divinity​

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Definitive in its intricacy​

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Simplicity and symmetry​

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We are silenced in awe​

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Blemish-free and truly clean​

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We cradle its life inside our earth​

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It stays not long to share our rest​

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On its way and we'll soon follow​

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Oh happy day to see the fringe!​

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BlackGuardXIII: September 10, 1989​

 

Since you wanted feedback...I'm sorry I didnt like it very much. It was a little too wordyfor me..

 

haha beautifly! cooool. inbloom i like yours too, it is rather wordy, but i like the way you've intertwined nature with poetical words ie hypothese

and inscense in a sense....that's a beautiful phrase....very sibilant.

 

its nice. i sunk into the flow of all the words; they blend easily together. actually, i had to read it more than once to get a better grasp on it, as i was only paying attention to the sound of the words the first time

 

This one is not one a my favs of yours. I'm not a huge fan of rhyme and I got lost more in the sound than anything it said. I'm not crazy for misspelled words, intentional or otherwise. I know it looked good but it made my brain lag for just that moment to decypher.
BlackguardXIII . That piece was a nice suprise.

 

what word did i misspell?

 

incense and sense, those types of words, but I figured it was poetic license because it did seem to fit the piece. It's just my brain..always have brain farts on spelling. LOL~* I really am drawn to these opening lines.

the poetry of particles floating,
flowing, entangled, intertwined,
combined, suspended in mid-air...

 

awwww, that was a complete accident.

 

lol. I loved them. i love your style, it's like a modern day word sorcerer. they're really fun to read as well. they must be fun/tricky to recite!!!

 

thank you!!

 

Well, if y'all like this thread, yah need to haul yerselves over to the thread where all of Inbloom's are. Great time to be had within it.