Under the scrutiny of a hundred watt bulb you and i stand naked embracing the spirit and flesh of each others being between us a multitude of scars reveal silently past measures of pain and hardship procreation and tragedy yours, like silvery ribbons radiate outward from the vessel of creation your tummy a canvass for natures blessings; beautiful are the marks of motherhood mine, a myriad representing rage and mute fear explode violently across a body hardened by years of denial and self persecution; rough and dangerous yet softly alluring are the marks of survival we are lovers, wrap our scars around one another.
*applauds* This is stunning and chilling in its revelations and quiet power. I love the brutal honesty, the raw emotion spilling forth from every stanza. The first stanza is superb in bringing the reader in right away, no BS and the last stanza is protective, warm. Excellent style and presentation.
Damn that is one powerful message, I wish I had written that. Imho, that is a masterpiece. I write poems too, and I worked in Van for a few years, and know it well. It has definite scar-ability potential. But I love scars, honestly, that is why I love your verse so much. My buddy the linebacker calls'em beauty marks, and so do I. If someone has a lot of scars, in my experience, they usually have a lot of wisdom, love, and faith too. Good writing..............A+
i agree with kitten, i got chills. it is a very powerful piece. the depth of trust that comes with facing each other, your unborn creation between the two of you, and taking in everything about the each other including your inner/outer scars is illustrated beautifully in this poem.
I agree with everyone who has repsonded so far...I too wish that I had written this, but if I had then I would have written it differently, and the poem would probaly have suffered as a result. You write with searing honesty, and it is very powerful. I am in awe.
i'm not real good at responding to positive comments. 'Scars', like most of my writing is born out of pain, hardship, regrets, big sadness and even bigger emptiness. when something torments me long enough, i write about it. it's a therapy for sure. when a piece is finished then i feel peace with myself. i really didn't see or feel anything significant about this piece. i am glad tho that it does have that power to touch others. there is so much excellent writing on this site and i don't know how many times i wish that i could write like someone else. but this is my life and it's all i know about really. and as far as scars being cool, well i agree. much like a tattoo but a far greater story. the poems i enjoy best are the ones surrounded by a tragedy of some sort. i always feel good knowing the person stuck around to write about it. to one and all, i say 'nolite te bastardes carborundorum' (don't let the bastards grind you down)
