My random thoughts on marriage-like em or hate em!

I am going to start by saying I am probably going to piss people off (do I care?? NO! so here goes:

Lately there have been many weddings. I am not jealous. Infact, I have a small sense of pity for these people who are entering a binding contract with little knowledge of what marriage really means (not to say EVERYONE who gets married doesn't know).

Maybe I am just negative, but this is how I feel. My reasoning is partially because I am 21 years old and I have friends and peers my age who I know who have been married and are going through a divorce or are already divorced (or are ALWAYS complaining about their husbands/wives). These people were happy in their relationships. Then it seems a month or two after they got married, their whole relationships have gone downhill? Why? I really don't know. It doesn't make sense but it's enough to keep me from wanting to do it.

That is not the only reason though.

The concept of marriage is a beautiful and romantic thing. I think that's why many people get married. You find someone, you think you will be with them forever (TIL DEATH seperates you), and you have a beautiful wedding and people come and bring you presents. You think everything is going to be so perfect after you marry that person, and you think your mate is going to be honest, loving, sweet, and all the wonderful things you want the love of your life to be.

I think people are subconsciously getting married because they are insecure in their relationships and they think the only way to keep that person they love so much is to marry them (trap them). For crying out loud, you have to SIGN a piece of paper saying you will be with them forever. But then theirs a prenuptual agreement, that people sometimes sign! WHY? Because there is a thing called. . . .what's it called? Oh yea! DIVORCE!!

Marriage is almost a trend these days. And it's easy to get out of! Over 50% of the population in the USA is divorced. In my mind if marriage was REALLY MEANT to be forever, there would be no divorce.

Marriage does not guarantee ANYTHING. The only thing that marriage guarantees is that while you two are married, whoever makes less money has a bigger bank account. THAT, my friends, is the reason for marriage it seems.

I have seen it all too much. People will deny it til they are BLUE IN THE FACE. But I see though it. That is also the #1 reason for what??? DIVORCE.

I have much more to say, but I will shush for now.

 

No ones gonna read all that

 

Yea, you're probably right. Why did I waste my time?

 

Don't worry someones gonna do it to prove me wrong.

 

Yep.
Read it before your Post though...

 

There was a time when I was an idealistic liberal and believed that marriage was nothing more than a lifetime prison sentence. My views have since changed. However, I agree that many young people marry for the wrong reasons, which is sex appeal and nothing more. Then, after several years, it's no mystery why things don't work out and they end up divorced. Superficial love never lasts long.

I have nothing against marriage, but it seems like many people my age (and younger) are in such a hurry to get married, which is just ridiculous.

 

im asking myself the same question....

 

its always a pleasure reading your posts juggalo

 

I know

 

I think the reason I am annoyed so much by marriage is because they are in a hurry.

And yes, the superficial reasons are among top reasons people wed.

 

I read it...and I very much agree. What I'm finding funny is hearing people preach about 'preserving the sanctity of marriage' and then finding out that they themselves have gone through divorces.

 

a lot of people get married for reasons they shouldn't. that's why there's so much divorce.

 

I think alot of people feel like they need to be married to be complete. They want the fairytale and the "idea" of it and don't feel secure with the thought of never marrying. That tends to annoy me...but truth be told...it doesn't affect me directly so I really don't care. I just wish we lived in a society that wasn't so seemingly co-dependent. I've never been one to dream about my wedding day or my "future" husband. I imagine maybe one day I will be married but I don't think I have an unrealistic view of marriage and I know that the man I marry will hold the same values as I do...otherwise I am perfectly fine with my cats

 

Hah, that's what you call a hypocrite.

 

Hypocrite works, but its more fun to just refer to them as 'dumbasses' .

 

Ha! Yea, I guess you can say that!

 

I married my husband when I was a month shy from being 22. That was almost 10 years ago. I lived with my parents and then moved in with Bill a month before we were married. I didn't have a lot of independant time, in fact I didn't have any. I didn't go out with my friends to bars. I didn't travel. I didn't do a lot of things most people today are doing before they get married.

All that said I wanted to get married. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Bill. I met him when I was 18. When I first saw him I heard a lil' voice in my head say I was going to marry him. We dated for on/off for 3 years before we were married. We had some really rocky times while we were dating and for some of our marriage.

I had visions of how I wanted my marriage to be, what I thought it was supposed to be like. After everything we have been through together I can only say that today my marriage is more beautiful than what my visions were.

Now we have a family. We have two beautiful lil' boys whose parents not only Love and Adore them but Love and Adore each other.

God really blessed my life placing Bill in it. I thank Him that Bill takes our marriage seriously. We've had problems and struggles but we know that we are together "till death do us part" so we find a way to work through whatever is ailing us.

Marriage takes tremendous effort, especially in the beginnig. A lot of people are under the assumption that if they have to work at it then there is something wrong and then they give up. Marriage takes work, it takes comprimising. It takes two people who are commited to making their lives together work for the both of them.

 

I know people who got married out of high school and who are now all divorced. I also have seen some nice people marry complete assholes and get divorced. Another "rule" of mine is that the more the wedding cost, the higher the chance for divorce.

The thing to remember is, don't make your decisions based on what somebody else did. Not everyone gets a divorce. I personally think what raises the statistics are all these stupid princesses who need a fairy tale wedding to complete their lives, so they rush out and marry the first jerk they see who ends up being a (gasp) jerk. So they rush out get a divorce. Young people seem to think that marriage is disposable, just like everything else these days.

I lived with my hubby for 2 years before getting married in a small ceremony in a house. We've been married 7 years, and have 2 great kids, and we're still in love. If we have a problem, we work it out.

 

I just had this conversation over the weekend with my man's friends. I am dating my high school sweetheart. If anyone were to ask us today, we would do it. But people and feelings change. We have lived together for almost 2 1/2 years. We are really happy. But we're young and people change as they grow up. Who's to say we are going in the same direction in 5 years? So we just enjoy life right now and we don't out any pressure on the subject. His friends think we are so perfect together and in some ways we are, but I would hate to look at him at 25 and not be in love with him. We are waiting until we have aged a few years. If all goes well, we will get married. It's not a life sentance. It's a celebration and a union of two people so in love they want to spend thier lives with each other. It can be beautiful when both people are level headed and on the same page. Not that it always works. My parents were a great couple for 21 years and they got divorced because my father is heading in a direction that my mother is not. I'm not afraid of divorce because I am so cautious with marriage ot begin with.

 

To me.. marriage seems kinda overrated. I'm not saying I never want to get married, but I believe that if I really truly love someone and want to commit myself to him.. I'm not gonna need a piece of paper to prove my love for him. Because that's what marriage is... a piece of paper. Everything else just comes from your heart. That's what I think anyway.