Alright, so I volunteer at the women's centre on my campus. I usually volunteer for two hours on monday, the closing shift if you will. I know that the director had been talking about wanting two people on every shift. So lately there has been this guy every monday shift that I work. Nothing wrong with guys at the women's centre - they're definately welcome. However.... he REALLY gives me the heebiejeebies. I hate being around him. Not because of anything he specifically has done, but the way he acts reminds me of someone I had a... not so pleasant experience with. He just creeps me out. Now, I've been debating whether I should just try and change my shift (which would suck, since most other times are very awkward for me to be there), or approach the director about this. It sounds shallow and bitchy to me, and definately not founded in anything he has ever done. What do you guys think I should do about this little situation of mine? I really don't want to stop volunteering there.
If you think some more about the details of how he acts, you might discover that he somehow IS acting inappropriately. If you can get very very specific about the behaviors that upset you, we or I can give you better advice . . . and then you in turn could be more specific about your complaints when you go to the center's director. Perhaps he is coming on to you inappropriately, or perhaps he's a pervert. Good luck.
See now, that's the problem. He hasn't actually done anything to me. It's just a vibe I get from him. He reminds me a lot (behaviourally and appearance-wise) of someone that, well... just wasn't a pleasant experience. But this guy hasn't done anything to me, I'm just VERY uncomfortable in his presence, even when there are a bunch of other people around.
Get to know him...No need to be like that, maybe you are wrong! Or, just change shifts. But don't act blindly and tell your supervisor about him if you have no basis. Sometimes first impressions are wrong.
Is this Feeling affecting your work? If so either change shifts or learn to compartmentalize this Feeling. OTOH the latter will serve you better over the Long Haul. " Nothing is easy. Though time gets you worrying my friend, it's o.k."
Tell the director in that exact way... Thell him your just uncomfortable near him and you would really hate to change your shift and is there anothe shift that he could work... and if the director says no... Change your shift...
definitely talk to the director. you're not going to be able to function effectively if you're always on guard around the guy you feeled vibed out about. it's always a good idea to listen to your gut instincts about people too~your gut is always right.
nimh said it best: always trust your gut! pay attention to those vibes you're getting. i had a BAD work experience last year, cause i didn't complain about working with a guy who skeeved me out, but was always nice and i had no "real" reason for thinking he was creepy. i eventually had to quit the job and the dude would still appear in my old apartment's parking lot sometimes... it's better safe than sorry. listen to your inner voice telling you that you don't want him around. it's probably telling you that for a reason. especially if your intuition is usually accurate.
Take care when dealing w/Absolutes as very few things are 100.00% especially gut feelings. I've haven't had the Pleasure of ever knowing anyone possessing perfect gut feelings..
If he has done nothing inappropriate or said nothing inappropriate....then the issue is yours and you should either change your shift or quit. To go to your director with anything other than a request to change your shift as it is your preference to do so is unfair to the other employee who has done nothing to warrant an issue at work other than to remind you of someone else. The responsibility in this is yours as you have an issue that is not warranted.
^^^ Heat, You're absolutely correct. She is feeling uncomfortable; that is a valid emotion. However, admittedly, it is an unfounded uneasyness. I would say the best thing to do is try and get to know him. That way you'll either have specific complaints or be able to become more comfortable with him. It is absolutely unfair to go to the director without a valid complaint. Even if you present it as simply an unfounded feeling you get, you will taint the director's opinion of the person. From personal experience, I had a similiar situation in which I met a coworker that I was supposed to work with the entire summer. Apparently, the first night at dinner, the co worker told a supervisor that she "didn't think I'd pull my fair weight." I don't think she meant for it to get back to me, but it did, and it really made me angry and discriminated against. As it turns out, I am now the supervisor of that job and she wasn't asked to return for a second summer. What I'm saying is that it is YOUR internal issue. I'm not marginalizing your emotions, but it is something that needs to be dealt with personally. Anything else will jeopardize your working relationships and creditbility. Especially at a Women's Center you should be willing to accept his differences. It is analogous to a homophobe saying, " I have a gay coworker and he hasn't hit on me or made inappropriate comments, but I want to talk to my boss about it." Do you get where I'm coming from. I'm sorry for going on a rant, but its something that hits a nerve as I was on the receiving end of something like this. Peace and good luck
It's difficult to say with certainty exactly what's going on, but at least you're "on your toes" and alert about the situation. There's no giant rush to do anything about it. But if the guy definitely does something in the future that is very weird and uncalled for, at least you'll be able to respond quickly. Best of luck.
nobody has to do something wrong to prove anything . we are talking about your safty . if someone creeps u out then u trustin yer instinctts isnt a slight to them . if they realy were cool n together they would completely understand .all u gots is yer instincts never walk into a situation that creeps u out .just tell boss truth . its not an inditement of anyone to want to feel comfy
this stands out as being a situation to try and change rather than "getting to know the guy" because it's only the two of you, working alone, together, at night. it's the closing shift, so you guys would close together, and then leave when it's dark outside. if your gut instincts are right, then what worse circumstances could there be? i assume mondays aren't real busy compared to say, saturday. so on top of all that, there probably aren't as many people around. this is entirely different from working with him on days when lots of people are in&out, during the day in which you do not leave to a dim parking-lots or a long, dark parth. at night the parking lots are empty, there aren't people milling about, and the boss is less likely to stop in. correct me if my assumptions about your work are wrong. it's just that with those variables, it's more important to listen to yourself than at other times. i definitely learned the hard way not to sit around and try to get to know the guy a little better. getting to know him (especially if your gut is right) might make him think you're comfortable and open and on a closer level. with creeps, give them one centimeter and they swipe ten feet.
