Are you Conveniently Bi?

I'm just as busy as anyone else in the world, but I try to pay attention to what is happening in every moment. If I listen carefully and connect during my interactions, good relationships tend to develop.

 

I really wanted to have the experience to be with another man for years. I was able to give it an try recently with a guy I met in a sex chat. I have to ad it that when we met person, I didn’t find him too attractive. We both behaved a little bit shy and cautious at the beginning. At some point, I broke the ice touching him, and he immediately took his cock out. I put myself on my knees and sucked him off for a while. He reciprocated the gesture. I didn’t enjoy it as I thought I would. I’m still open to try again, but I’m not looking for that actively as I was before.

 

When my first girlfriend of three years broke up with me when I was 30, perhaps out of grief and a need for distraction, but most likely my situation giving me permission to allow the gay desires to rise from my unconscious, I started thinking about guys. My fantasies and enjoyment of gay porn just grew and grew until finally I went looking for the real thing. The novelty of it was quite exciting at the beginning, but eventually I found that my different sex venue visits (like bathhouses), and when I was naked in front of a real guy, became disappointing: my gay desires and my desire for the guy in front of me always disappeared in these visits, though I still sucked cock there. Back at home all the gay desires for everything sexual and romantic with men came back.

But it was also especially happening every time I was rejected by a woman, for sex or a relationship. For the first 21 years that seemed to be the cycle, with female rejection causing an explosion of gay desire, only to be disappointed every time a real guy was in front of me (there were only 6 exceptions where desire remained for the man I was having oral sex with, out of over 200 guys).

I've since learned that really what was happening was a lot of internalized homophobia. But it also was the kind of "convenient bisexuality" this thread is talking about, also with respect to female rejection, just not with my wife rejecting sex, since I've never been married. The two girlfriends I have had, the first one that started all this gay stuff 30 years ago, and the second one, also a three-year very rocky relationship with lots of breakups, that ended just before the pandemic hit, led to lots of convenient homosexuality. But also all the other outright rejection by women who did not even want a relationship with me, sexual or romantic, lead to the same.

It was only at the 21 year mark, when I finally lost my virginity, as a top, with another guy, and experienced a deeper connection with another man, that flipped a switch for me, allowing me to much more accept the gay side of myself and really enjoy it. It stopped being just convenient, and it became a true expression of my gay side, that has only grown stronger and stronger over the last 9 years. Like with @thepapasmurf, it's connection with more and more of the whole man that I began to crave, and enjoyed more and more.

I'm now in the beginning stages of actually dating a gay man whom I am strongly falling for. I have no interest in having sex or love with another woman right now, not since that December 2019 breakup. I'm only interested in men, for all of it, though I'm still attracted to women. Yes, I'm bisexual, but ever so slowly moving closer and closer to the fully homosexual side. And I can't be happier about that. I finally feel myself.

 

Some guys I know, like some on this thread, eventually become more gay than bi in their desires. And, some guys I know truly remain bi.

One of the reasons why I remained bi is that I've known women who are perfectly OK with men being bi, and in most cases these are women who have their own bi experience. However, in all cases, these are women who value other people as whole persons, not just as sex objects. That's the reason why I remain friends and confidants with them.

I think a lot of guys today feel either rejected or controlled by women. I've avoided this feeling by getting to know women who do not swim in the mainstream, and I have reduced my interactions with blow-and-go men by getting to know men who do not swim in the mainstream. One of my biggest pleasures is hanging out either in person or on the phone with people who are willing to talk about their inner life without fear.

 

Oh my gosh, what a beautiful post! You hit the nail on the head. If I could meet women like these, I might be more bi. I seem to have a couple of issues working against me: first, I have stronger morals of complete honesty always and total monogamy in a long-term relationship, and second, a stronger gay side that just can't go long without intimacy with a man, so long-term relationships with women are out.

 

The whole key for me was identifying women who do not associate sex with "owning" a person for a lifetime. The most satisfying thing was realizing that I already knew some women like this but had never listened to them carefully enough to understand they could take or leave men as lovers, and could take or leave women as lovers. Sure, such women are rare, but they do exist.

Why do they exist? Because they know there is so much more to being human than sex. This goes for similarly rare men who do not equate sex with "owing" someone as a sexual object. These are people who want to know and appreciate others for more than sexual opportunism. They are a wonderful blend of independence and interdependence. They have a lot going on in their creative lives, and they do not suffer from the illusion that a particular Mr. Right or a Ms. Right is the only thing that can make them feel complete.

I openly discuss these issues with a few of my closest friends. The only reason I have been able to open such discissions is that I let all my closest friends know that I appreciate and love them. Most of all, I listen to them and not dominate the conversation. After I listen to them, I think about what they have said for several days, in order to understand them better. That's how I've discovered the jewels in my life.

Regarding monogamy, that was fine for when I was married and raising kids. My former wife and I eventually decided to move on after the kids were out on their own. We separated for a long period and then got divorced.

 

Well I must admit that after 38 yrs fucking the same hole gets boring, and even after many yrs of our open sexual marriage it does turn me on sucking cock. Both the wife and I will always be married she has her lovers and I have mine. hers are mostly other men whoo we have been involved with for yrs, mine however are with like minded men. My fuck/suck buds all say my mouth is the greatest, I have 1 guy who says his wife never swallows his juice, thats why I suck cock is the juice I'm rewarded with. Just this morning he came over and ii drained his balls before he went to work, is it mutual? Yes mostly but time has alot to do with whether or not I get my balls drained.

 

Well it’s not me that’s conviently bi it’s all the other business travels I encounter. We business travelers frequent the same hotels and eateries, we recognize each other and have formed private friendships. Yesterday I went next door for dinner and I met up with a guy whom I have been with before. Semi retired he is a stocky built guy, hairy and has a decent cock. But the best part of him is his balls are gigantic, so we started talking and he whispered my balls are full want to play, I whispered back well maybe instead of you drowning me how about pumping my ass full. He laughed and said deal as he reached across and touched my crotch. When no one was looking I said feel my ass crack, he did and he was instantly hard as a rock as he felt my ass plug.

He said that is so fucking hot, I think I am leaking precum, we finished having dinner and went to his room where the bourbon was, got undressed and yep his cock was leaking the precious precum which I gladly licked up. He was so fucking horny we never made it the shower, he pulled out my ass plug bent me over on the bed and drove his cock hard and deep and worked my ass for 10 minutes before filling me up. He left his cock in me as he tried jacking me off, he found my cock, balls were already drained from his fucking me. As I sat on the toilet I was amazed how much spunk he poured into me. Awesome night