Husband/partner/buddy

Absolutely spot on GrayGuy. Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

dd788snipe:

Thanks!

Yes, from what I've been reading on this forum, it is indeed MORE than a challenge for a bi married guy to arrange "quality bonding time" with his male pals.

Especially if the wife (if she is aware of the situation) is not all that keen on sharing her husband with other men.

Though I always believed in "solid" marriages, for a bi married mail to even TRY to disregard his desires for other males can make a situation even more of a challenge.

All I can say is to use discretion, common sense, and NEVER deny your true self.......

 

Regarding being a gay man in an overwhelmingly straight society must be a good deal easier, and far less burdensome, if you are lucky enough to have a steady partner at your side.

Fighting ANY battle alone is NEVER a pleasant experience, and, indeed, often taxes the inner core of your resilience.

Somehow, someway, you continue to trudge along through the days and nights, almost as if you are functioning on "auto pilot".

You simply have to steel yourself to say to yourself: "I'm in this situation for the rest of life. I'll have to adapt to this as best I can......"

 

papasmurph:

Thank you, again, for sharing with us so much of your wisdom, insight, and experiences.

Indeed, you are a man who has experienced so much in life, good and bad, and, today, are a man who can be proud of his honesty, integrity, and achievements.

Ever notice how so many straights are so vehemently opposed to gay marriage, and, yet, have little or no clue as to how high the divorce rate is among straight couples?

What has always disturbed me is when couples you would THINK have a good, solid marriage, in reality, that marriage is fast crumbling away.

I have three nephews, all are divorced (the nephew i am closest to, sadly, had a wife that was NOT what she seemed)

The other two, well, the less said, the better.

Being gay, marriage is not really an option for me, and, even if it was, I have no desire to try a life where I have a life partner; granted, I have yearned for such a relationship, loving, respectful, and fun all of my adult life, but, seeing how unpredictable (and deceitful) many people are these days, I admit to myself that i am far too vunerable emotionally, and that when I need a "best" friend", one that is ALWAYS there for me, I need only to look in the bathroom mirror (I must admit, I am NOT too pleased to see what the man looking back at me looks like!)

At least, I know I can ALWAYS trust MYSELF.

To ANYONE, straight, gay, or bi, who are fortunate enough to be in stable, loving, long-lasting marriages, I say, "count your blessings every day; NEVER take what you have for granted.".......

 

Honestly both the wife and I are very open to others visiting our bed. That being said we enjoy a group of like minded friends who fulfill our sexual needs and wants, I don’t care who is banging the wife as she doesn’t care who I’m banging. Have I ever came home to see a another man banging her pussy, hell yes and I love it. Tasting his cok with her pussy juice on it always makes me hard.

 

After my former wife and I were done raising kids, our marriage dissolved. I have never lived with anyone full-time since. This takes the heat off of "making a relationship work".

I love my friends, and I know I need affection. That happens more naturally for me in the absence of owning or feeling owned by someone. There are lots of us who live this way. We express our love for each other whenever we have the opportunity.

This thread has some examples of that. Open communication is a form of lovemaking.

 

Well said.

"Open communication", indeed, IS a form of lovemaking; in fact, IMHO, it is also the CORE that keeps things intact.

Honest and open communication between two "partners" if you will, is, sadly, all too often underrated these days.

"Expressing love" (ANY love) is something that is almost impossible to truly define.

Each and every human being has their own personal way of expressing affection for another person, regardless of gender or orientation.

Perhaps I am very old fashioned, but I truly believe that both LOVE and HONESTY are quite integral to ANY mature, meaningful, and lasting relationship........

 

....I would also imagine that it not only takes tremendous COURAGE to be "out" when you are a bi male who is married and has a family, and, perhaps, even MORE courage to seek what you desire, and dismiss any and all negativity that is thrown your way.

Be YOURSELF and be HAPPY!

 

i only get negativity for the concept of being pan sexual and for the concept of being pan gender, not for being who I am in real life. For example, I have male friends who accept me as one of the guys and female friends who accept me as on one of the gals. I have very straight friends who confidentially open themselves up about feeling too constricted by society. I have friends who now give me full hugs when we meet after years of either nodding or shaking my hand.

Love people who are willing to be loved. It's contagious.

 

I'm finding that the word boyfriend is rolling off my tongue (in private) quite comfortably these days, when I think of what I want. I was not always comfortable thinking in those terms or using that word, or kissing a guy, etc...Not just sex, an act, an organ, but I want to call him my boyfriend if he'll let me. And I'd like to be his boyfriend as well. I want a bisexual boyfriend. There. I said it.

 

You have made both a SIMPLE, and, yet PROFOUND step forward, my friend!

Obviously, you are being QUITE honest about yourself, and, as you have just discovered, the world did not end because you used the term "boyfriend".

Way to go, brother!

"Live long and prosper"

 

I still love my wife, but sexually we have grown apart, and she is unwilling to compromise, explore, and sex is no longer frequent, nor exciting at home. I need a boyfriend for sex and some emotional connection as well.

 

I hear you, my friend.

That you are looking for an EMOTIONAL connection as well makes it obvious that you want whatever sex between you and another male to offer MORE than just the PHYSICAL.

Any sexual connection between two men HAS to be that much more rewarding and meaningful if there is that emotional bonding as well.

A "tight" friendship between two males has to go a long way in making any sexual relations that much more intense and enjoyable........

"Live long and prosper"

 

This going on while I am having an honest conversation tonight with my wife, telling her, I'm not trying to "piss her off by being bi" or by telling her I also want dick in my life and to meet bi guys..... She acknowledges the honesty(after all she knew decades ago before we got married).

 

I have long believed, that, in ANY mature relationship (straight/gay/bi) that HONESTY is indeed the very cornerstone at the foundation.

It took tremendous courage indeed to admit this to your wife; one cannot help but to admire your honesty.....here's wishing you luck, my friend!

"Live long and prosper"

 

Can I remark upon the honesty and eloquence being shared here? It's fckg epic.

I know we complicate our lives. I've certainly done so with mine.

 

I DO think that, without our even being aware of it, that were do indeed often COMPLICATE our lives.

It is only, later on, when we reflect back on our past, that we realize that we might have made things more complex than they really were.....it's human nature, I guess.......