its been a while since I have written poetry

Simply
I fall asleep every night
Again I pace back and forth across an empty road
That is metaphorical for the beginning and end to my existence
I am pleased by this content thought
That all I need are the plausible smiles that generate the fruition of love
Without the consistent need for sheltering one self
From this gift we have been given

My soul becomes an unraveled strand that is caught on a fence
Whipping in the wind, eventually there will be a moment of release
And freedom will be the only available motion that will draw me
Through the emotional space we call the universe
I will not resist this instance that will contain true complacency

Water becomes the texture of my fortified being as I feel weightless
Washed by the realization of my momentary presence
Destiny mimics the vibration that has formulated the template for life
A small stream running into a vast ocean
The ability to be limitless

Awoken by the sudden shroud of light that wraps me
A languid process occurs with opening the eyes
To peer out at a world of miniature moments
Fleeting like sun spots in the sky that is blue
Even behind the clouds

What a day to be thankful for…


Standingdeer

 

Parts of this I really liked. Second stanza was my favorite. Some really good lines. Not sure why but it drags a bit here and there.Thanks~*

 

I like the mood and message. You're good with words but you'll be even better when you become both writer and editor. Too many cooks spoil the broth, too many words...

 

I really like it.
I am confused a bit by the end just because the wakening is "languid" which is not pleasant, but you are grateful for the day. Life is confusing though, so if that is what you are saying it makes sense even if I would prefer a more ambient ending.

 

it's hard to see that it's been a while since the last time you wrote poetry..it was beautiful..but maybe..you should as kidder said..used a bit fewer words..else from that i think it was really good..
keep on writing..

 

I thought it was great. Kind of makes me feel melancholy in a way yet pleased to be alive.

 

Great poem!

 

Thank you for your replys and opinions, I wish you great wellness in all things you do.
Blessings
Standingdeer