Something I came up with today at work... A slave in the pit. We mine the disease so they can sell us the cure. We work our fingers to the bone and our bones to dust, yet still they breathe their hot, putrid breath across our necks. Then use their whips to increase "productivity."
Great, until the last sentence, when you changed tone/style, too literal. But I definitely feel your meaning, I feel the same way at work sometimes.
Yeah, I felt it too. I wrote all but the last line this morning, then later on during the day came up with the last. oh well :/
