Forgiving a Cheater....Can You Do This??

For me cheating is the ultimate sin. It is the one thing that I won't forgive or forget. Once, I have been cheated on the specialness of the relationship is gone and so am I. For many of my friends this is not the case though. They have forgiven their lover's infidelties and chosen to stay together. Why would anyone choose to stay with a partner who has defiled the sanctity of their /relationship marriage?

Forgiving a Cheater. Which is worse? Cheating of the heart or Cheating of the body? Can you forgive a cheater? Why?

 

What's the point in staying with someone who wants to be with someone else.If I were in a relationship I wouldn't cheat or go along with cheating.Sometimes cheating isn't meant to hurt the other person it's just the relationship running itself aground.

 

She'd be out the door so fast she wouldn't even have time to say "I'm sorry."

Pack your shit and get out of my house.

 

Nope, wouldn't forgive them. There is no reason to cheat on a person. You can try to negotiate an open relationship if you're desperate, or break up first. It is completely unacceptable to cheat on someone.

 

I've been cheated on by two different guys. One of them, I will never forgive because he was so terribly jealous of my friendship with my ex-boyfriend that he accused me of cheating on him and put me through hell, then he cheated on me to get me back for something I never did. And the other guy...I've forgiven him, but I could never trust him again. But I don't think I could remain with a guy knowing he'd cheated on me. Once that trust is lost, it can never be regained.

 

I was told if I cheated, on my way out, to not let the screen door hit me in the arse.
Guess who cheated/disappeared in the Dark of Night?

Did I/would I ever consider a reconciliation?
'Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.'

 

I cheated on a serious boyfriend in the past and he still wanted to work it out and we stayed together. But my actions (which I will always regret) damaged the relationship so badly that I don't think our decision to stay together was worth it. Our time would have been better spent elsewhere. Had I not cheated, things might have worked out for the better...but I guess I'll never know. As for me, I would not stay with someone who cheated on me even though I had been "forgiven" in the past...I don't think he ever really forgave me anyway..he still threw it up in my face over a year later and after we had broken up.

 

Under normal circumstances cheating unforgivable in my opinion. But I think some people who are in long distance relationships, should be forgiven if it's happened. Not to say it's right, but a little more understandable.

 

it's the unforgivable sin in my book.

 

I think you can try to keep going after it.. but there will always be issues and a slight fear inbetween th two people.. Its better to let go and move on

 

i dont forgive it, if they did it to you once how do you know they wont do it again..........

 

A few years ago, I was cheated on and forgave him...so he went out and did it again - same girl. Lesson? Cheaters don't deserve anything except a kick in the ass out of your life.

 

I am currently trying to work with a girl who cheated on me a year ago. Our previous relationship was great, no fight just good times, then she disappeared for three days and I had to play detective.......found her at her Ex-boyfriends house and her only explination to me was a shoulder shrug. Now a year later we saw each other and started dating again. We've been dating for 2 months now but I have horrible problem trusting her(I mean why wouldn't I?) and our relationship is suffering from it. I can forgive her even though I know I shouldn't,(I really love her) But I just can't forget how badly it hurt. Pretty sure I'm gonna break it off with her soon. You just can't have a good relationship without trust.

 

(((((hugs for bornrunnin)))))) people who cheat suck...she doesn't deserve you.

 

i would never remain with someone who cheated on me.

i kinda disagree... i think it's actually worse to cheat in a long-distance relationship, in most cases (excluding marriage, cohabitation, etc). if a couple is willing to stay together when they're far apart, their love has to be pretty strong. most couples who are just together for things like convenience, utility, etc live in proximity to one another, and wouldn't try to 'go the distance.' i'm not saying one relationship is always better or stronger than the other, so don't get me wrong. but couples living far apart have a lot more trust issues to deal with, and thus might trust each other on a higher level in order to remain together. it's a lot harder to trust someone going out all the time and appearing single than it is when you're at the bar by his side, for example. so violating that trust would be an even greater offence.

 

I would forgive only once, and i think that cheating of the heart is really worse.

 

I think anything is forgivable once.

 

I don't know. I'm not saying I could NEVER, under any circumstances, forgive if someone cheated on me.. It just depends on the situation so much. It would be really difficult though and I don't know if I would really want to live with all that insecurity.
I cheated on someone when I was 17.. he forgave me, but I don't think I can ever entirely forgive myself. Just seeing his face when I told him and knowing how it broke his heart.. I hate myself for doing something like that to someone who loved me.

 

I probably wouldn't forgive him, but I don't know...

 

I was never able to forgive or stay together in any relationship all my life, but now, for sure I could forgive once......damn I don't know if I could ever get mad at her, I'd probably fubar the guy, but then cry like a baby and forgive her......

Jeeeez, that kinda scares me, I never put up with it even once in the past. One time, see ya later, I would break it off right then. It was real hard, but I had to. Now I am different, maybe my spine turned to jelly, or I just am so committed to this lady that I don't have the ability to end it. I think I don't. I doubt I could tell her it's over, but I have to think about this, there must be some scenario that would motivate me to break up...and be able to resist her if she pleaded to stay.......I just can't think of it. Wow, this thread sucks...imho !