What Should You Do If Your Partner Refuse Sex(Is not in the mood)

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Kingsamy, Aug 18, 2023.

  1. iamjustme

    iamjustme Wishful thinker HipForums Supporter

    Messages:
    1,386
    Likes Received:
    1,178
    Until it doesn't.
    The chances someone can cheat in their marriage and it is never found out is tiny. TINY,
    She will eventually find out. Damn near 100%, no matter how careful you think you are.
    And you say you don't have big problem in your marriage - but you are willing to cheat on her? Haha.... now there is some irony.
    If a woman refused to care about her husbands sexual needs - then she is not a wife worth having. Because if she doesn't care enough about that, then she doesn't care enough about however many other things as well.

    My ex wife was exactly like yours. She was 6 years older than me, she went through menopause around 45.
    We didn't have sex for the last 10 years. She was unwilling to, So I cheated on her... twice. And then when both kids went off to college - I divorced her.
    And found someone else who DOES care about me. Been married to her now for 8 years. She is also post menopause. But she cares enough about me and our marriage to continue having sex. And I appreciate that.
    My first wife is now living in a crappy apartment in a crappy apartment complex. All she can afford. With me, she had it pretty awesome. Nice house, nice neighborhood, she drove a nice car. All the clothes she wanted, and she had a lot! Etc. etc. etc. But she was unwilling to do her part to keep me.
    Bet she wish she did.
     
    Suburbanray likes this.
  2. You should write a book.
     
  3. TonyH

    TonyH Members

    Messages:
    106
    Likes Received:
    125
    Per some of the other conversations, I wish my wife would give me permission to take care of my needs. She has very little interest and is interested in sex maybe 3x a year. At least some can say they have a good marriage in spite of lack of sex. I can't. I've been a mr nice guy and it is true, nice guys finish last (or rarely have their needs met). I feel I've been taken advantage of and I'm just her meal ticket. I ask for very little and as some have said, I no longer have expectations of sex. I masturbate to meet my own needs. A divorce would not work as windman said earlier. So I deal with it best I can. No promises of happiness in this world
     
    Suburbanray, Muskoka Guy and regina73 like this.
  4. drock69

    drock69 Members

    Messages:
    463
    Likes Received:
    448
    Smart man for leaving?
     
    regina73 likes this.
  5. john slick

    john slick Members

    Messages:
    208
    Likes Received:
    317
    My wofe and I havent had sex in 20 years,since her hysterectomy. No kissing, no touching. Nothing.
     
  6. Ybcican

    Ybcican Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    289
    Likes Received:
    372
    That’s the saddest thing I’ve heard all day! It would be a stretch to call that a marriage.
     
  7. Wait…what? So she just said “screw your wants”? Do you love each other? I’m sure you care for each other but do you love each other?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 9, 2024
    6Sailor9 likes this.
  8. iamjustme

    iamjustme Wishful thinker HipForums Supporter

    Messages:
    1,386
    Likes Received:
    1,178
    According to studies - between 15% - 20% of all marriages are sexless in America. As defined by having had no sex for at least 6 months.
    Other studies define it by one year, so their percentages are only 7-8% - but c'mon, if a couple hasn
    t had sex for 6 months, they are definitely sexless.
    Using that same definition over 30% of marriages with both partners over 50 are sexless.

    This is a newer phenomena.
    Women in the past accepted the fact they were going to have to give their husbands sex whether they wanted it or not.
    Many women will refuse to accept that, saying they won't submit to a man like that.

    Well... there is a price to pay for it. My ex-wife paid it.
     
    Suburbanray likes this.
  9. 6Sailor9

    6Sailor9 Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    6,597
    Likes Received:
    6,498
    :-(..maybe some deep conversations are in order?
     
  10. john slick

    john slick Members

    Messages:
    208
    Likes Received:
    317
    She would rather eat dirt...
     
  11. jimandjan

    jimandjan Member

    Messages:
    2,624
    Likes Received:
    2,569
    My wife has never refused to have sex with me. But now 70 years old she no longer enjoys it. Can't get enough lube. And I no longer enjoy it like I did when she loved my long deep strokes. Old man time has caught up with us. We still cuddle and hug. The bad thing no longer using my cock as much, my erection seem to be weaker. She has even suggested a couple of her willowed friends would enjoy my attention, but I find nothing appealing about them.
     
    regina73 likes this.
  12. Scharff

    Scharff Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    2,101
    Likes Received:
    3,477
    Masturbate until the next time she's ready. For me, that eventually led to my first FWB.
     
  13. Twogigahz

    Twogigahz Senior Member

    Messages:
    5,868
    Likes Received:
    6,956
    Yeah, but it's not the same. It will pull me off the roof and calm the monster for a while, but I still need it.
     
    6Sailor9 likes this.
  14. topper

    topper Member

    Messages:
    2,606
    Likes Received:
    4,485
    Thats one of the reasons the sex toy business is booming.
     
  15. Bstnguy685

    Bstnguy685 Members

    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    73
    My first marriage the sex completely stopped. It was after my second child that she had what I believe to be severe post partum depression and was only interested in children's activities. She wanted a scenario where we stayed married for the kids sake and I could bring other women home while she left the house with the kids. I didn't personally feel like that could work out very well so we parted ways thankfully. Before this happened it was always a scenario where I "didn't deserve sex". Because A B and C. Yea see ya later. Remarried now and even though my sex drive is a lot higher than my partner's we are still open about things and find time 2 to 3x per week.
     
    6Sailor9 likes this.
  16. Panama Jack

    Panama Jack Lifetime Supporter Lifetime Supporter

    Messages:
    2,110
    Likes Received:
    2,943
    I completely understand. When you find that right match for your sex drive, it’s pure magic.
    Over the years my wife and I have both maintained a high priority for our sex life, and talk about it daily. Sex for us is so important that we keep variety in it.
    We have another couple that we play with routinely and we understand the benefits to our health as well.
     
    6Sailor9 and Bstnguy685 like this.
  17. Gojira Man

    Gojira Man Members

    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    9
    My wife at one point time had a nitro fueled libido, a thing to marvel. After menopause, complacency and indifference towards sex became the norm; a wonderful woman with the sex drive of a brick. I have talked with her about it and routinely get dismissed. I care for her immensely but have reached the point where other options need to be considered. There are many factors at play but eventually someone is going to get hurt.
     
  18. Longzi

    Longzi Members

    Messages:
    902
    Likes Received:
    1,541
    I’m there with you, been married 24 years.
    Since menopause her sex drive is gone, sex is once or twice a year. I’ve talked to her about hormonal therapy, or simply just giving me a handjob. All my attempts fail. I’ve been nice giving into her and not causing fights in the hopes that it will get the motor running, but nope. It’s frustrating as hell and takes me to places I don’t want to go, which is to other people. I haven’t cheated but the temptation gets stronger almost every day.
     
  19. straightma1e

    straightma1e Members

    Messages:
    1,309
    Likes Received:
    1,935
    These answers are why you see the occasional trophy wife on the arm of the older man. When the first wife refused to trophy wife took up the slack and fucks when asked. But trophy wife can be discarded and replaced if and when those legs close up as the first wifes did. Other scenarios are the fuck buddy, sugar baby, or escort. It all comes down to this. A happy marriage is a sex filled marriage.
     
    Longzi likes this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice