The Grieving Process Doesn't Always Go Well.

The grieving process doesn't always go well. And it's okay if you partly blame the person. They're gone. You're the one who has to carry on.


"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears,
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave,
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone."

—My Immortal,
Song by Evanescence (2003).


"These wounds won't seem to heal,
This pain is just too real,
There's just too much,
That time cannot erase."

—My Immortal,
Song by Evanescence (2003).


"You used to captivate me by your resonating light,
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind,
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams,
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me."

—My Immortal,
Song by Evanescence (2003).


"I've tried so hard to
Tell myself that you're gone,
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along."

—My Immortal,
Song by Evanescence (2003).

 

You grieve much because you loved much!

 

Sometimes you just can't believe they're gone. How can somebody just *poof* be gone. It's been over two years and I still feel like calling my sister and talking about the birds, or pets, or lamenting over mom's latest bullshit, or dropping her a funny text.... But, she's gone. Fucking cancer.

 

(((Hugs))), I’m with you and understand!:-(

 

It just boggles the mind.

 

I feel the same way about my younger brother Tyrsonswood. He died May 1, 2023 from cancer. We lived close enough to see each other and also called regularly. I am about to do his final tax return for last year. I am feeling lost. I miss him so much.

 

:-(

 

My baby boy passed away in 2022 (stillborn), and his birthday is coming up in July. I have the added emotional expense as my first son knows he has a little brother but he is in heaven/passed. My son asks questions and brings up his brother at times as hes old enough to (6yo) it has brought me more into the spiritual side of things and even the bible. When I am dreaming often times I am confused and wondering where he is as I know I've had a baby and i feel as though hes lost. It's bereaved mothers day today as well, so any mother's out there I'm thinking of you.

 

I’m so sorry! My deepest condolences to you, family and friends! :-(

 

Your brother will always be alive in your deepest thoughts.
About 50 years ago, Jane's 9 year old sister visited us in London. Coming from a remote village in Ireland she was transfixed, particularly sitting with me on the control desk of a London theatre when our now King arrived. She spent a couple of days swinging in the trees i our garden and playing with our extremely friendly cat.
When she returned home, she amused everyone by describing how she could see 2 people in the room when there was only one. Her mother called the doctor, but it was too late, she died 48 hours later, during surgery to remove a massive brain tumor that was found to be inoperable.
When death comes suddenly in someone so young and full of life, it leaves a memory that never dies. She had no symptoms whatever, until the tumor pressed against the optic nerve.
I still have a clear mental image of her playing in our garden right now.

 

Hugs Jgard

 

He was a good dude. I'm sorry he's gone. I didn't even know he had cancer. I think it was a while after his death that I found out he had died. I wish I had had a chance to say good bye to him.

 

I'm sorry for your losses @Twogigahz and @wilsjane

 

There's a couple books from the reading-well.org.uk booklist that might be worth checking out:

An Introduction to Coping with Grief, 2nd Edition
Sue Morris

Grief Works: Stories of Life, Death and Surviving
Julia Samuel

The books on the list have been vetted by at least one healthcare professional. There might be other books that you'd like better or just as well, but at least there's some level of professional endorsement for these.