parental pressures and no understanding

i go to a 15,ooo a year prep school in new orleans. my mom graduated from ole miss and she is a woman who is driven by obsession about what people think about her, "uptown society", her bible study groups, the latest most expensive fashions, having money, what is good and proper, etc etc you get the picture. she and my dad arent happile married- hes greek and 70 and my mom is 54 and im 16. my dad has two kids from a prio marriage that are almost my moms age. they always fight about ridiculous things and act like children playing games with each other trying to win the argument. I hate to be around fighting, and people who say hurtful things to other people, etc. The only thing they agree on is my education which i havent taken part in for the lat 4 years or so. its a problem of motivation. my grades suck and its time to pick a college. the pressure is on and i dont do well pressure/confrontation etc. my mother forces me to go to youth group, sunday school, church, every church event ever planned, etc. she thnks i need to straighten out, she thinks i dont have god in my life, she doesnt accept of anything but hardcore christianity, she is emberassed by my choice of lifestyle, my open mindedness, and my non judgemental take on things. she even wants me to make a debut into society. im not interested in any od these things. i just want to go to art school and do things in life that make me happy w/ money or w/o money. i dont know how to make her accept me. it makes me sad to see her this way bc i know that she isnt leading a happy life and life is to short to be unhappy. i dont know exactly what im asking- i guess its that how do you deal with a family that is so different from you and what you beleive in? oh yeh, they are staunch republicans too. hard to live with. how do i get through the rest of my years at home with them (advice from old hippys please) and how do i keep our relationship amicable from there? sorry about the length! thanks! peace & love​

 

deep breath, weary smile. just roll with punches and mentally rise above it. dont wast any energy tryin to change them, just aim at being content and happy in the moment and place that you are. youll soon be in control of your own destiny. . . .. or . . . .. .steal a bunch of thier loot and run away with me!! oh wait, sorry, i promised myself not to harras/flirt with girls on here anymore. listen to the first suggestion, omit the second.

 

give up the money and leave or quit bitching

 

Have you tried sitting down and talking to them about the htings you want in life? It may not change much, but it may at least close the gap somewhat. Ultimately, the most important thing is to stay true to yourself. If you don't like the plans they are making for your life, forge your own path. It won't be easy, but it's the only way to keep from living a life of unhappiness yourself. And you'll never be able to "make" them accept you, that's something that will have to come from them. In the end, maybe the best you can hope for is getting their respect, if you do forge your own path and manage to stand and follow your heart, make it work, show them it's not just some idealistic dream but rather something you are willing to work and sacrifice for. It may take time for them to come around, but there's a good chance they will.

 

Anastatia,

Advice!
Listen,,, I hear the inner voice of a profound awareness so clear that even your written words are like chrystal.
I'm at your feet for advice, my clear eyed guru.

Your misguided parents are in fact the key that has opened your eyes.
Use those eyes to see through the delusions that blind us all.

Your parents have control issues, so does their religion.
They won't be satisfied unless they are in full control of you.
We all love our parents, but we have to face facts.

You'll have to break-away from them at some point, or they'll force you to be their clone, and you'll resent them.
They love you, but they can't help themselves.
So how can you save your family relationship?

Sadly, I think only from a great distance.
You can go cold-turkey, or you can go away to college.
Either way, go!

Are they letting you chose your own college?
There's no more Haight-Ashbury.
The existential life of the moment has no place in an ownership society.
If you want to find others who are aware like yourself, college is all that's left.

The good news?
You've come to us because you can feel.
How does it feel to be able to feel the painful beauty of this world.
Your beautiful sensitivity,,, what could it mean?

Cursed and blessed.

 

I can't top m6m (ever, no one can ) but I so relate to what you're saying. My youth was similar but maybe not quite as severe as what you're going thru. DO break away however you can, but don't burn your bridges. Be true to who you are, don't let them change you. Try to keep your love in you for your family, they just really don't understand, but don't let yourself be railroaded into things that aren't right for you.

you said it ...life is too short to be unhappy...if they want to be, that's their business...but you are young. Pick a college to go away to, preferably far enough that you can assert your individuality, you may find it's much easier to get good grades far away from all the stress of your family. Write down your goals, what YOU really want, not what they want, and go for it. It will happen. Hang in there, you will be OK.

 

You are denying yourself an education because you don't agree with some of your mothers wishes.This is a poor decision on your part. Who do you think your hurting by doing this your parents? Beside your health and freedom,an education is your most important posession. Especially in a young persons life. It appears your mother is still growing as a person,this is normal. You say your opened minded. It appears you have already made many decisions reguarding religion,school,money and college. Hopefully,they will turn out to be the right decisions. In fairness, I can't go any deeper into this because, I don't know you. And especially because,I don't know your parents. But in all honesty, your problems appear to be no more than growing pains.

 

My parents are the same way. They too are close-minded christians and i am more buddhist, but im afraid to tell them or show it. I need help.

 

If your school is away it should be alot easier. If you aren't doing well in school, the only person it really will have a long term affect on is you. But if you are only coming home for long week ends and holidays it will be alot easier. You will have time to find yourself more and they will be able to get used to the idea that you are growing up and forming your own ideas and opinions. While you are at home, theres no reason not to be polite and do a few of those things if it means that much to them. They are only doing their best, lol, you didn't come with an instruction manual.