Be a respectful pleasant host and the ladies will respond. Just working the odds will get you a horny old woman. My problem is women are not allowed (look but no touch), but she says I can suck all the cock I want..
Jealousy is a fear-based thing. I wonder how many spice (my plural for "spouse", like "mouse"/"mice") simply do not feel any threat from same-sex liaisons, but do from opposite-sex ones? They know their spice are bisexual, but also heteroromantic. So relations sexuelles with the same sex are AOK.
Same-sex interactions have been deemed to not be threatening to a relationship while opposite-sex interactions are a clusterfuck waiting to happen. This is because it has been deemed to be unlikely or impossible that "Sam" and "Dave," who discovered that they like sucking each other off a few times a week, would develop romantic feelings for each other and anyone who believes this... is wrong because it is possible for that to happen and be a threat to the relationship. I remember when my first wife and I were hashing out the terms of our now-open marriage and she was trying to get it past me that she could sleep with whomever she wanted to, but I could only get with guys and I called bullshit on this and asked, "Why do you get to fuck anyone you want to but putting me on lockdown? If that's what you want to do then I get to do it, too." She didn't want to agree to these terms, but the alternatives would have sucked for both of us. I also remember a close friend asking, "What if she leaves you for someone else?" and my answer was, "If it happens, it happens; I'm not going to make her stay if she doesn't want to and, besides: Everyone in a relationship faces and accepts this risk."
Fondly replaying my evening* in my mind got me to thinking about posts Topper and I have made, and I decided to reiterate them for emphasis. Sailors (especially cruisers, I say) can provide a target-rich hunting ground. If you're near marinas and boating communities, explore them! *I went to a restaurant that's virtually next door to a large marina. (Specifically went to its bar.). Tonight seemed to be one of those target-rich environments. I picked a couple who looked promising and sat near them at the bar. Introduced myself, they introduced themselves, we made small talk, swapped sea tales, gently eaed into talk of affaires d'amour, and, lo and behold(!) found ourselves on their boat (they're liveaboards at the marina) where, fueled by lust and lubricated with a bit of alcohol, we fucked! He was bi, but a Kinsey 2 at best. We masturbated each other some and did a bit of frottagizing, but the evening was mostly about us double-teaming the wife. Orgasms ensued and a good time was had by all. I opted to come home to sleep, even though there likely would have been more fucking, because sleeping would have required all three of us in the V berth. Um, no, sorry. We're gonna hookup again, tho. So...YAY boats, boating, and boaters!
My 40-something protege likes to say that one of the reasons why he likes us old dudes is that we're of an age where... we don't give a whole lot of fucks about a whole lot of things. He says that we're mature, wise, laid back and can be very damned lusty and as he found out taking on a 70-year-old that he thought he was going to "dominate and top" and wound up with the old guy's 9" dick buried deep in his ass... twice. He told me this and it was a good thing he couldn't see or hear me because I was losing it laughing over what he had experienced. I asked him, "So, what did you learn from this encounter?" He's still got a lot to learn about being bisexual and dealing with his elders who were bisexual before he was born...
I've hooked up a couple times on Silverdddies. No BS, and they were mindful of my desires (give oral get anal, not really emotional) One I met at a motel. I felt like a dirty little slut hooking up just to get a load of cum, but I loved it! Very passionate! i gave oral, got spanked, got anal and he came in both my mouth and ass. I hope he passes through again