Im gay, untill i cum... help plz

can anyone shed some light on why i dont want anything to do with guys as soon as i cum?

 

Because...once you have gotten off...the sexual fantasy is ended..and a bit of shame creeps in probably..or embarrassment..and your back to the real..everyday world .

 

I agree With Erzebet ^^

Its probably guilt, and it happens to a lot of people, gay or straight.

 

i guess that makes a bit of sense, even if i dont think i fees shame or guilt.


any ideas how to overcome it?

 

That takes awhile...you have to reach a point where you can look at yourself and the people around you and be willing to admit that there are things about you that are different..that might disturb the so called " NORMAL " folk..but ..thats ok...YOUR ok...and its just who you are..!!!!!

 

Yeah, you have to honest with yourself first. Kind of like an alcoholic - the first step is to admit it. It'll take time, and you need to decide if you want it. But for my money, why hide what you really are? It will end up hurting you the most.

Don't worry about what others think. They're gonna think what they're gonna think, with or without your input. And if they can't accept you, or at the very least tolerate you, for what you are, you don't need them.

There are plenty of us freaks around. You're not alone. This country was founded by people with radical ideas!

 

hello! i just want to say i feel something similar when i fantasize about being with a girl. also when i indulge some of my more "dark" fantasies [like extreme s&m or incest]. it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt! [or cums]. i think it's just a matter of being totally comfortable with yourself and OWNING who you are.

here's an exercise i found in a book by SARK. go and stand outside [or wherever] and twist your body to the left, then the right from your hips up. let your arms go limp, wrapping them around yourself when you swing one way, then the other. when you twist one way, shout out really loudly

I DONT CARE!!!

then swing the other way and yell

YOU CANT MAKE ME!!!

rinse, and repeat as necessary

 

Interesting. I intended to start my own thread about this awhile back after having a fling with a guy. I guess you could say I'm bi. Love women,their bodies, everything. The only thing I like about guys is the cock. Nothing else. Especially when it's big. Could never see myself in a relationship with a guy.


When I haven't hooked up with a guy in awhile,I find myself craving cock,fantasizing about sucking,fucking,worshipping it & all the nasty things I want to do with a cock or what I want to be done to me & I end up calling someone to hook up. Once I'm there,I end up just stroking it,barely sucking it like I had imagined earlier. Usually just letting him rim me or fuck me if I feel alright about it. I usually end up stroking myself I guess to just get it over with & cum before him. While he's trying to stroke himself off I'm usually putting my clothes back on.

On the way home,I have napkins in my vehicle that find myself wiping any kind of taste or remnants out of my mouth or my tongue & don't feel as satisfied as I do when I'm masturbating to the same fantasy. Which leads me to ask myself,"Am I really as bi as I think I am?"

 

Not on the "why" exactly, but I know a lot of bisexual guys who tend to only have girlfriends, and just go with guys for the sex. I guess there's an element of pragmatism to it, like you know you couldn't do with a woman. what you can with a guy.

So yeah, I can't explain it, but it's fairly common, and while some people change with becoming more liberated/finding the right guy/whatever, some of the most open bi guys in the world just don't want to have a relationship with a man; they like the cock, but not the stuff it's attached to. So possibly you don't even need to overcome it.

I dunno, do you like male company at all, or is it just when there's sex involved that you don't like it?

 

That's pretty much me right there.

 

I've had the EXACT same thing, to the point where I can't look at myself in the mirror for a while after. Even though i KNOW I'm bi. There's something that I'm still fighting within myself to come to terms with what i really am. I'm scared as hell to tell anyone except my husband and that's it. I come from a really conservative family and I disagree with them about basically everything and I just feel like because I know they will reject me, then everyone else will if they know what I've been up to. So maybe it's just harboured guilt that you don't realize that you have?

 

Ok I feel exactly the same way. I cannot get enough of gay porn. I now have started to watch just men stripping and yes 100% I get solid hard. If I watch straight porn I think about masturbating to gay porn, so I'll switch off and go back to gay porn. And it is amazing till I ejaculate and then all that guilt and shame floods over me for about 5-10 minutes and then I can go back to watching gay porn. I have never had sex with a man. I've done a ll the sex toys, fantasies about going to a gay sauna to test if I have the same urges, I even bought prep and condoms and lube. Still haven't had gay sex because once I madturbate it's gone. I have even tried looking at t mens arses when I'm out in supermarkets but it doesn't do anything for me. I still fancy women. I really do want to have gay sex but I'm worried that I could never live with myself afterwards, however I'm also wondering could it be like when I first had anal with my girlfriend years back and I felt dirty afterwards and then at free a few times that was it I was hooked to anal sex with her every time it was just anal, no more vaginal sex. The dirty feeling went. So it makes me wonder that if I try it I might get to enjoy it and get used to it. Anyway I am ready for it, got prep, condoms, lube just don't have the confidence. Maybe someday.

 

It's called the refractionary period of sex, a moment where after you ejaculate, you don't want anything to do with sex and you can feel guilty as fuck. It's something that men and women experience but men seem to "suffer" from it more than the ladies and the fucked-up part? There's nothing you can do about it other than to get used to it and do your best to ignore the shitty feelings experienced after you cum.

And it doesn't matter who you have sex with, either. The moment you cum, the refractory period kicks in and you'd rather eat broken glass than to keep having sex although, yes, a lot of guys either learn to work through it or their refractionary period isn't that intense or long. I've been bi all of my life and I don't know how many times a guy has busted a nut with me and felt guilty as sin because he had sex with a guy and... that's not what was really causing his guilty feelings - but it didn't help, either. I know too many guys who try to eat their own cum and find that they can't because the moment they do, refractory kicks in and it takes an effort of will to gather up the cum and put it in their mouth. Again, some guys manage to do it, most guys can't and wind up putting it in a glass for later consumption.

You should know how your body works and why it does. Sometimes, that period can be short and you can get it up again and be raring to go in minutes and sometimes, well, you might not even feel like getting a boner for a day or more and the thought of having sex/masturbating sounds like a great idea but if you're still in a refractory period, well, maybe you can do whatever you're thinking about and maybe you'd rather watch grass grow.

 

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What I concluded about my understanding and the questioning of my orientation was actually somewhat related to feelings of inadequacy about my performance.

 

When I first started liking guys in my early 20s I remember feeling so guilty and ashamed after jerking off to a gay fantasy. Each time I thought it would be the last. And I didn't think about guys at all for months. But eventually I couldn't deny the desire for a guy came back.
Occasionally I still feel guilty afterwards but now it's more a realization of loneliness. I'm eager to know how I will feel afterwards with an actual guy. Hopefully I'll feel closer to him and not guilty.

 

I called that "mostly straight." I'm sexually attracted to all genders, - anything goes when I'm horny! But I don't want to have a "relationship" with anyone who isn't female.

 

And I think part of that is being a more considerate person. I think about love and the behaviors that exhibit understanding of that.