When you feel the feelings fading...what do you do?

What do you do when something feels "off" about your partner and as though their emotions are slowly fading....but they're insisting that they aren't?

I know it's probably not fair on my end, which sucks....but naturally, when this has happened in the past, I'd start working on detaching myself and searching elsewhere .....

I admit to being a sucker for love in all of its forms....maybe I should say "positive connection".. ? I love everything about it, and sometimes it's no matter with who...

So once I feel my partners feelings waning or maybe the honeymoon phase ending, I get the urge to gallop away ..

Anyone got any advice?

 

I think it depends on the connection(s) you want with your partner. If you really need physical activity, then you really need to talk about it especially if it drives the rest of you. But some people can forego sex for the rest of their connection. For example, I have a newer friend who is married with three kids and she, along with her husband, are bone tired keeping up with two jobs and three kids. He really wants sleep when he can get it and they've been married long enough so the spark that was once there is kind of gone. She is also bone tired but needs some kind of sex although she's less attracted to him than she used to be. So, we meet sometimes. It started with mutual masturbation which she didn't feel was really cheating and now it's shared oral to completion which she still doesn't feel is cheating. She says she goes home happier and satisfied and feels like a woman again when she pleases a man. I don't think I'm the only one she sees but she says it makes her situation easier. I wonder if she'll stay married in the years to come. So, for her, it's nearly purely physical. Wanting to be seen and told how sexy she looks and wanting to please someone sexually and that makes her feel a little better. We traded pics for a while before we met so she is anxious for the physical aspect. That's her anyway, but we're all different.

 

I agree we are all different and I admire guys and girls that take every opportunity to please themselves, with whoever, as the highlight of their lives. Sex leaves a terrific glowing after-burner on reaching orgasm and in many cases takes a physical effort to reach, so it is only natural that sexual participants come in various levels of expertise and therefore those that are good at it, want to exercise their skills with as many partners as possible. In todays world it has become common for those sexually involved with others increase their ability to satisfy them, by becoming a super predators. Thankfully many spouses are quite happy to take a back-seat and let others give this type of pleasure to those with better skills than themselves, especially when married!

 

It’s time to get knee to knee, hand in hand, and heart to heart and communicate about your feelings, and desires.

 

I may have some advice.
First you need to be honest with yourself about what your really seeking in each particular relationship.
There is no such thing as a relationship where the honeymoon part continues forever.

There are two things from what you have written that may hold your answer.
What do you mean when you say your partners emotions are fading? Can you please interpret what you mean?

This point in the relationship you've been making the judgement to detach and bail on the person and seek others as you say. You say it's probably not fair on your end but "naturally" it just happens? This isn't natural, this is a decision made by you.
It's a decision to stop investing effort to continue your relationship with this person.
That brings up the next question. You say your a sucker for a positive connection. Can you please tell us what a positive connection means to you?

Look, there is nothing wrong with short term relationships where once the new feeling goes away you loose interest and you kindly explain to the other person your not interested in seeing them anymore. Or just become unreachable if you've only dated them once or twice.

By having a string of these type of relationships you may have developed an unhealthy pattern that may interfere with you intuition and could cause you to give up too early with a potential "good catch".

Could you be a person who just wants nothing more than the fun that's in the early part of all relationship, and then bail when it starts to take effort to make it continue?

 

Have a heart to heart

 

I've felt those feelings fading before. Almost to the point of, as the OP said, galloping away. I've stood outside our home and looked. Not at the physical structure but at what we built together. And why we did. it brings me back to reality and I realize there is still something about what we have together.