Hello. It’s a desperate plea. I would like to know if someone can help me or give an advice how to act. I’m married and since some time I almost don’t feel arousal for my wife. It becomes normal when I a little bit tipsy. But when I’m sober it’s complicated. I feel my excitement transferred somewhere deep down inside me but it’s not enough to make my stick work properly. Arousal emerges immediately while texting or watching men’s content. Are there ways to force my focus on wife again while turn down the excitement for men?
Try to have more sex with her, experiment with her in some other things than same routine for sex. See how that goes. Have you been with a guy or is it all fantasy porn and texting ?
I’ve had an experience with a guy once in the past without penetrating. How can I try other things in sex if I’m not aroused? And my wife needs me but not some replacement.
I’d try like more oral, get her off and then maybe ask her for a blow job, once she starts sucking I’d bet you get turned on. Maybe ask her to finger you as well say you want to spice things up.
I can satisfy her by oral pleasure. But she needs me inside. And I couldn’t be aroused after oral sex. As for blowjob it doesn’t excite me instead I feel some kind of shame, insecurity, discomfort. Not only against me but at women too, it looks like some kind of mock or humble for her. It can be pleasant but it’s impossible to release. And due to those thoughts and feelings erection can pass away. As for fingering me it’s a shame to ask about it. Sorry. I thinks there too much issues in my head
Think you might need to see someone or you are repressing that maybe your gay. You like men that’s ok and you’ll have to come to terms with it or you’ll be miserable. I would see someone talk to them see what a professional might think. Otherwise this can go down a dark path
If you cut off looking at gay or bi make porn it will help. Really cut off all porn and masturbation is what couples counselors suggest? And it will re sensitize your penis to the stimulation of penis in vagina (PIV) sex. The stimulation provided by your hand is more forceful than what the vagina can provide. It's helped guys who had trouble cumming by PIV sex, who had be one used to the "masturbation death grip" of their hand. Also,do you have any issues with her? Long simmering arguments, etc that are acting as a mental cock block? It could be you are temporarily in a more homo phase of whats called the bi-cycle, that has ups and downs over time?
Thanks for the reply. Yes I think I should stop consuming porn content totally and I will do mastutbate only if it will be hard for me to hold tension inside and I will use imagination or my wife’s content. As for issues the last time I was with her I’ve noticed that I become hard from touches but when I start to think about upcoming penetration then my erection fades away. And my mind starts to focus on my cock and it’s really hard to switch my thoughts on my wife or any pleasure.
