Your daily joke thread!

Well, it's not one of the 10 commandments.

 

The claim that the Bible does not forbid pedophilia is absolutely false. While the Bible may not use the modern term "pedophilia," it clearly condemns any form of sexual immorality, including the exploitation of children. Here are some key biblical principles that refute that claim:

1. Condemnation of Sexual Exploitation
   
   • Leviticus 18:6-7 – “No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the Lord.”
     This establishes boundaries regarding inappropriate sexual behavior, which would include minors.
     
     
   • Leviticus 18:22-23 and Leviticus 20:10-16 – These passages outline forbidden sexual acts, and while they don't mention minors explicitly, they emphasize that sexual immorality is detestable in God's sight.
     
2. Severe Judgment for Harming Children
   
   • Matthew 18:6 – “But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”
     Jesus strongly warns against harming children in any way, which would certainly include sexual abuse.
3. Marriage and Consent in the Bible
   
   • Biblical marriage was expected to be between a man and a woman who had reached a level of maturity, as indicated by passages like Genesis 2:24, which states that a man leaves his father and mother to be joined to his wife.
   • The Bible does not endorse child marriage as some claim; rather, in cultures where girls were married young, they were still expected to have reached puberty and be physically ready for marriage (which is not the same as modern pedophilia, which involves prepubescent children).
4. General Condemnation of Sexual Immorality
   
   • 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 – “Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men … will inherit the kingdom of God.”
     Any form of sexual perversion is included in this condemnation.
5. Biblical Laws Protecting Vulnerable Individuals
   
   • Deuteronomy 22:25-27 – This law treats sexual violence as a capital offense, showing that non-consensual sex was a serious crime. A child, by nature, cannot give true consent, meaning any sexual act with a child would fall under this category.

 

"Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman that hath known man by lying with him. But all the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep alive for yourselves."

Numbers 31: 17-18.

 

Hadn't heard it before but once had a dog that would knock things off tables and countertops. He once knocked off the wife's terrarium and chewed up some of the plants. I thought my wife was going to kill him. Don't know what it was but he was sick for days. Dogs are the dumbest critters I know.

 

Another true one.

Jane's flirtatious young assistant was invited to have dinner with us, so she told our son (who was about the same age) to entertain and amuse her. Particularly paying her the compliments that she always expected from guys.

As requested, Terence opened the door and invited her in, then to Janes horror, commented, ......"Nice skirt", ...... "Just a pity that the shop ran out of fabric half way through making it".

Needless I got the blame. First Jane said, "I thought that you were the only person on the planet who would make a comment like that".
Then I got blamed for entertaining her dog, rather than her. I know which one was the most intelligent.

 

Anything uttered by Donald Trump or Elon Musk or any of their running dog lackies.
Anything by their supporters.

 

I'm giving up painful enemas this year for Lent. It will be a struggle to keep that promise. But I think I can. But there are no acceptions to this rule. So I guess I will have to tell all my doctors this.

 

I like the debating rules of the UK parliament. You can call your fellow member of parliament anything you want, anything, if you call him "the right honorable gentleman". "The right honorable gentleman sleeps with cats and drinks his own urine, and the right honorable gentleman has horrible body odor, and he..." There's a lot of famous quotes like that.

My favorite one is from British prime minister Benjamin Disraeli: “Yes, I am a Jew, and when the ancestors of the right honourable gentleman were brutal savages in an unknown island, mine were priests in the temple of Solomon.”

 

People these days often listen to Spotify I guess. And some find it annoying. But they don't realize what it was like growing up in the 70s an 80s. Yes Spotify has commercials if you don't pay. But commercials are when you go to the bathroom and get a snack .

 

It's like when a DJ would put on the long album version of a song....body break time....like American Pie or Allman Brothers Jessica or In-a-gadda-do-vida....