A question for married bisexual men

Papa:

The original question was:

When you were engaged to your fiance, did you admit to her that you also were turned on by men, or, did you wait until after you were married?

Or, did you wait a number of years before telling her? (or, not "fessing up" at all))

 

Had blowjobs with the fellas and fucking each other, eating pussy like it was the finest food ever and spanking my monkey like it was really illegal in between having a lot of sex at 13, which was just more of the same for me. I got introduced to bisexuality and I embraced it and ran like crazy with it while being on a mission to learn as much as I could about all of it - and not knowing how deep the rabbit holes of sex and sexuality really goes. Unlike thepapasmurph, I didn't feel the pull in both directions; I got tossed in to sink or swim and chose to swim because, really, who the heck knew that having sex with a guy could feel and be so cotton-pickin' good? And don't get me started with having sex with girls and especially after I learned about eating pussy!

Ho-ly shit...

My parents were more about telling me what not to do than anything else and I was royally pissed to learn that they'd been hiding the truth about sex from me and it would be a long time before I forgave them for that because they were only doing what their parents did to them when they were growing up. What I learned almost immediately was that if you leave two or more boys to their own devices, there's no telling what might happen - and what might happen can usually be sex with each other because we were also learning how stingy girls were about giving up some pussy.

My parents had said that if there were questions that I needed the answers to, then I should figure out how to find them and... that's what I did since having sex provided a lot of answers - and experience is the best teacher ever. Sexual desires and a near insatiable curiosity opened many doors for me to experience what I've experienced and learned what I've learned and the number one thing I learned about being bisexual is that no matter what I do or who I do it with, I will always be bisexual and even if people hate me for it.

I learned to not be afraid or to feel ashamed or guilty or regretful about/over anything I've done... because you really do only live once, and tomorrow isn't promised to anyone.

 

KD23:

Another outstanding (and honest!) post!

You are indeed a guy who MORE than took "the bull by the horns", regarding sex with with both guys and gals, and letting NOTHING stand in your way!

 

And keep in mind that I grew up with guys who'd make me look like I was still very virgin and clueless about sex. Taking the bull by the horns sounds very proactive... which I can't say that I was. Sex, as I would learn, was exciting; sex with boys was even more exciting because it was naughty and wasn't to be done. My protege had asked me if I would have eventually become bisexual had I not gotten introduced when I did and I can't honestly answer that question except to say, "Yeah, probably, and because of the guys I hung around with..." and a lot of people I knew and got to meet had said that they dove headfirst into same-sex sex... because they were told not to so it was naughty, not supposed to be done, contrary, rebellious, and a lot of other adjectives I can't think of right now.

Other than the adjectives, I didn't see a reason not to have all the sex I could be exposed to so if you asked, I'd say yes and not give it a second thought; show me your dick and I wanted it in my mouth and/or ass and I'd learned that having someone sucking on my "thing" felt wonderful beyond words and got to be even more so once I started ejaculating. It was surprising how easy it was to talk a guy into doing the nasty with me and as opposed to trying to talk girls into it, but we had enough of the girls that adults called "hot in the ass" who were down with anything so that made the girls who didn't want to not so relevant although, um, they were nice to kiss and cuddle with.

What really stood in the way was the risk of getting caught, which was both scary and exciting and it didn't do a lot to stop me (or anyone else for that matter). It wasn't like we didn't know that we shouldn't be doing it and we'd sometimes mention that to each other... while we were doing it so, yeah, that should tell you something, huh? Kid logic said that if you were skeered, then you weren't gonna be doing the nasty with anyone so... don't be skeered.

And I was probably one of the smartest kids in the group and one might say that it made me "dangerous" in that I had a gazillion billion questions that I needed answers to... and having sex was a great way to get those answers. I remember eavesdropping on my parents' pinocle game and they were talking with the couple who lived on the first floor - and whose son was the gayest person I have ever known and someone who I had a lot of sex with - and they were talking about how kids didn't know anything about sex so there was nothing for them to worry about - yet - and... me and my very gay friend were both living proof of this assessment being dead wrong. His father was very concerned that his son was a sissy (and my father agreed that he might be) and I almost got busted because it made me laugh and for obvious reasons, but the overall tone of the conversation was that (a) us kids were clueless and (b) there was no danger of us experimenting.

It wasn't as much what I was doing sexually but what I was learning that was having the greatest impact on me and finding out that my parents - and other adults - were bullshitting me about a lot of things...

 

Now, how did all of this relate to the question asked here? It related well because I didn't hide my sexuality from her when we had our first and private talk... without our best friend, who introduced us, hanging around. I was able to tell her because by the time we met, I'd had enough "practice" telling girls that I went both ways (and because they asked) and saw that whether I told them the truth or that little white lie, with "too many of them," it was a lose/lose situation even though some of those girls were, themselves, going both ways - so I got introduced to the double standard early on, too.

I had reasoned that if I told a girl this and she rejected me, she wasn't the one for me. My new girlfriend proved that she was The One because I told her everything and she didn't freak out and didn't dump me and, importantly, she didn't try to stop me from getting some dick; she had my baby, we got married, and all sorts of stuff happened after that because it finally came out that she, too, was bisexual. I was always amused when a guy found out that I had a girlfriend... and she knew that I liked to suck dick; the look on their face was usually beyond priceless and they wanted to know (a) how I got lucky and (b) did she have a sister (she didn't).

 

Earlier, we had discussed some guys needing porn to "get them in the mood" before a m/m encounter; you have to wonder just how many guys found that the porn they watched was hotter than thay actually later experienced, or, that the "real thing" blew away any doubts they might have had previously.

Also, as we have discussed, a lot of gay porn (especially that dealing with BBC) make it appear that only HUNG men will provide the sexual ecstacy that another male might be craving (and expecting, after watching too much "fantasy" porn) and accepting it as reality..................

 

Nah, I wouldn't wonder how many guys found the porn more exciting than the real thing and simply because porn is a gross exaggeration of the real thing and why a lot of newbies wind up disillusioned and/or dissatisfied with the real sex they wind up having because it didn't come close to what they were watching via porn... and like porn is the de facto way that men have sex with each other and as a matter of course. I don't know how many guys I was with a guy who said that the reason why we were getting together was because they watched some porn and "it looked like fun" - only to find out that it was anything but fun for them... or me, either, but some guys really do have to learn the hard way.

Seriously, do you really believe that a guy with a fat 10" black snake in his pants is going to slide that fucker into your ass with such ease as can be seen in porn? Really? Shit, I've gone through whole bottles of good lube just trying to get my dick into a guy's ass and I'm not packing 10 fat inches - or I get the head in them and they're screaming at me to pull it out - and after I told them that, yeah, I don't care how much lube I use, this is going to hurt.

Or the guys who've said, "How hard can it be to suck a cock?" and thinking that it's not hard... and finding out that it's not as easy as they saw watching porn of any kind. Nope, not even wondering about those guys because they're out there just waiting to be disappointed because the chose to believe something that might not be the reality they wind up facing.

 

You REALLY hit the nail on the head here, my friend!

I've seen far too many BBC vids where some black dude packing an 11" trouser python slides that throbbing, rock-hard monster between the butt globes of some white guy, and making it look as though it were all done with "the greatest of ease", with NO DISCOMFORT involved......damn, even I know better!

Here again, BBC porn (and most porn in general) pass off "fantasy" as "reality", and too many unsuspecting idiots fall for it.

The title of that one interracial BBC website "It's Gonna Hurt.com" at least, banner-wise, tells it like it is...................

 

In all honesty, any m/m interacial vids I've seen, IF you DO szee a black guy with an "average-sized dick, rest assured he is in the ULTRA-minority.

These porn studios obviously go out of their way to find black guys who pack 12" pythons in their pants, and passing it off as "reality" to the ultra-gullible...............what bullshit.........

 

The studios and even amateur creators know that people want to see really big dicks wrecking pussies and assholes and with great ecstasy as well as gleefully doing rotor-rooter jobs on mouths and throats and all in order to perpetuate "bigger is better" - and "blacker is better." As an experienced bisexual man, I stopped believing this when I was... 11 or 12 and when one of those big-dicked dudes was reaming my hole out without any intent to make it good for me. As I lay under him getting hammered I (a) regretted my decision to agree to him fucking me, (b) really understood why girls were wishy-washy about big dicks, i.e., they wanted guys with big dicks but once they got one, eh, they could take them or leave them and mostly leave them and (c) I was fervently wishing that he'd hurry up and cum.

I wouldn't say that I was traumatized - I just stopped being a believer in big dicks being better. The real-life "problem" is that until you see his dick, you can't really know if he's packing an anaconda in his pants or a pygmy garter snake because, duh, guys either lie about the size of their dick or they really don't know and, worse, women have been known to artificially inflate our egos with "claims" of how good our big dick feels in them.

A guy who has never sucked a dick or taken one in his ass "hits the scene" with a preference for BBC and, likely, because he's seen them in porn, heard others talking about it in social media outlets, etc., and he gets on some apps or Doublelist and stating his preference for BBC and no others need apply and... what the fuck, dude? Do you not know that what you see in porn isn't going to really reflect real life experiences? Well, if you don't, you're gonna find out when some Black guy with a thick, nine-inch nail starts shoving that motherfucker in your ass and without a lot of regard to what you're feeling because, ha-ha - he watches porn, too.

But if that's what a guy prefers, it's what he prefers and nothing you're going to say to him about this preference is going to change his mind... until he runs into that one guy who will change it for him and he will learn what I and a lot of other bi guys have learned: Bigger isn't necessarly better. A lot of bi guys agree that ginormous cocks of any color are nice to look at - but they present certain problems that calls for a preference for guys with more manageable dicks.

 

We married when we were in our mid twenties and it wasn’t until we were in our mid forties that we discovered that I am bisexual. We were in a MFM threesome with a friend, I was eating their creampie when he asked my wife for a blowjob. When she said no he put his cock inches from my face, when I looked up I put my lips around his cock and the rest is history.

 

How did your wife react?

 

She enjoyed it all most as much as I did, she has not given one since that day. I do them all

 

Didn't tell her, and didn't tell her I was a cross dresser either.

She gradually found that bit out over the years.

She's knows I want her to fuck me, but sadly uts never really happened. One attempt and it turned her off.

I will die a virgin.

 

Took me seven years to tell my wife I’m very glad I did

 

what happened?

 

Hopefully, you were one of the fortunate ones, my friend..........

 

Yeah - what happened when you told her?

 

KD23:

I think we ALL are quite interested in finding out just what happened when "the cat was let out of the bag"........sure hope all went well for all involved........

 

Actually it was my wife that suggested I try sex with a man. Once when she was giving me a blow job, she started rubbing my asshole with a finger. It felt really good. That lead to her inserting a finger, then to massaging my prostate, to using a small dildo and finally to a realistic sized dildo.

I would have tremendous organs when she used a dildo on me. One night afterwards we were talking and she said that a real cock felt better and that I might want to give it a try. After much discussion over the next couple of months, I decided to try it. After meeting with several different men, I found one that I felt comfortable with. When he slid his cock into my ass I knew my wife was right. When he came in my ass I was hooked. I still have sex with my wife about twice a week, I have sex with my friend about once a week.

When I told my wife about having a man fuck me, she asked if I had sucked him. I told her I was so focused on getting his cock in my ass that I hadn't thought about it. She told me next time to try it that I would probably like it too. So I did and I do.

Life is great.