Your daily joke thread!

Some people are just unalterably BORING!! They don't realize it--can't be MADE to realize it--and evidently--that's just the way it is ---and WILL be!

 

My grandfather said this generatoin was too dependent on technology.and that he would never be that way so I unplugged his life support

 

You sound like the sort of person who passes out boxes of raisins on halloween -_-

 

Hmm. I wonder how you made that connection!

 

Have you read the book on obsessive-compulsive disorder??

Yes. I read it 527 times!

 

A skeleton walks into a bar and says "give me a beer and a mop."

 

I used to be a pharmacist, but I got fired. They didn't like my unique method of dispensing pills--"one for you--one for me."

 

whats the best thing about having a homeless girlfreind? you can drop her off anywhere

 

Ooh, low blow!
I just realized you can take that last sentence two ways....not intentional. Lol, I guess humor knows no bounds, eh?

 

Trust me it was very intentional,My humor like me has no bounds.Dark humor is the best XD

 

A woman asked her best friend to accompany her on a girls night out. The went bar hopping and dancing and had a wonderful time. After last call they decided they should walk home. On the way, they both felt the need to pee.

Stopping at a cemetery, they decided to do their business behind some gravestones. The first woman emptied her bladder but had nothing to wipe wit, so she took her panties and wiped with them.

The Second woman finished, but was wearing very expensive panties and didn’t want to ruin them, so she grabbed a large, wide ribbon from a wreath and wiped with that. Afterwards they went home.

The next morning the first woman’s husband calls the other one’s husband. “These girls nights have to stop!” he shouted into he phone. My Wife came home without her panties!”

The other husband resounded, “That’s nothing … Mine came home with a sympathy card stuck on her butt cheeks that read, (From all of us at the Fire Station, we’ll never forget you.)”

 

Why did the hippie drown?

He was too far out, man.

 

Q: Why do Men always think, and Women always Talk?

A: Because Men have 2 Heads and Women have 4 Lips.