Can sexual preference change with age?

For much of my life I was totally into men- because this was the way it was supposed to be. But then one night I was sitting at a bar with a much younger woman colleague. Suddenly she reached over and stroked my exposed thigh saying "I love Donna Karam hose".. I perhaps was showing a little too much leg. But her touch just electrified me and it was definitely pleasurable. We talked and had a few more drinks, and I found myself following her up to her room. where I had my first lesbian encounter. And she was very experienced. I much prefer the soft tender caress of a woman than the rough pawing of a man.

 

I think the older you get you may be open to try new things

 

Yes, sexual preference can actually change at any time, but I think a lot of people experience this when they get older and, sometimes, it doesn't take a whole lot for that change to take place.

 

I've always been sexually curious and experimental. But as I got older, they became more pronounced

 

You don't often hear of women changing their sexual preferences, but I know of a lot of guys who got older and changed theirs and, um, I might have had something to do with that so it's not something that I'd find to be all that unusual. Sometimes, it's that "one drink too many" thing; sometimes, a person feels that there's something missing and they don't know what it is but, I think, they really do know, and they have, um, one drink too many or are in the right place at the right time and with the right person and find out what they're missing and it's all good going forward.

 

well said, I think thats what happened to me.

 

As long as it was a positive experience for you, it's like, "Wow... who knew?" and now you've found something different and enjoyable. I am so happy for you and thank you for sharing this with us!

 

Thanks KDaddy, yes it was a wow experience for me. I think I will have to consider myself a lesbian after this

 

I’m 55 and always been curious, last year after not having sex for a year at home I took the plunge. It felt great being with a guy. Not totally going to switch sides I like being bi having a choise of who I’d like to be with. I think being older mentally and emotionally I could handle it more than if I had been younger.

 

Agree Oldernow, I think it takes some maturity to consciously step over into forbidden territory.

 

I wanted to try oral on a guy out of curiosity. When I saw the ladies doing it. It interested me to see a woman’s point of view. I must admit that I have performed oral on a few ladies in my time. And enjoyed every minute of it. I have no desire to make out with men or date one I simply wanted to see what it was like to give a bj. I will always desire a lady and when it’s right I will give a bj.

 

I do agree with you, but curiosity will also trigger desires within people that had never been triggered until that very moment. I had been curious about being with another man for several years while married to my first wife. At 36 years of age, I'd only ever been sexually involved with women and then one afternoon I was propositioned by a good-looking gay man and did not hesitate to accept, it seemed like the right time in my life as the moment and atmosphere could not have been better. The experience was far more enjoyable and satisfying than I had ever expected. I continued to enjoy having sex with women but now was able to also enjoy having sex with another man from time to time. At that time in my life I couldn't have consciously written off having sex with women but now 25 years later I certainly could find myself fully satisfied with only having a sexual relationship with another man.

Yes, your statement is certainly true IMO. Sexual preferences can change with age as it has obviously taken place with you and I'm happy for you for having broken out of your shell.

 

I think it takes more courage than maturity, Rhonda but, yes, having the maturity to understand your thoughts and feelings is just important. We know it's forbidden territory; we know why it's forbidden but, at the same time, we know that people go there and it takes maturity to see and accept that something ain't right here and the intelligence to question why it's forbidden territory. One either makes a decision to go there, girding their loins because their courage, maturity, and intelligence has determined that they need to do this or, um, like what happens to some, they may not have ever had a thought about going there and... "shit" happens, they go there and, wow... what the fuck have I been missing?

I've assisted a lot of guys and a few gals with stepping into that forbidden territory. The curiosity is very damned powerful and hard to understand since what they find themselves curious about is forbidden; they try to suppress it and find that's not so easy to do and the longer they resist, the stronger it gets. Situational things can send someone into the forbidden, i.e., sexless relationships, no relationship, introversion, a few other things that I haven't had enough coffee to think about but many make this step out of a sense of desperation or self-preservation - if they don't do this, they're going to lose their mind and, worse, their sense of self.

And when they say that you should never say never, so many men and women find out that it's really true and now it's a matter if they're happy to be there or they continue to kick their own asses with feelings of guilt - and feelings that our society pounds into everyone's head and like it's the truth and only truth there is... and, obviously, it isn't. I've gotten with guys in the 35-60 age group and if they're not already experienced, one of the things they want to know is why, out of the blue, they want to have sex with a guy and they try to shake the thoughts and feelings and find that, nope, not going anywhere and... what am I supposed to do? I'll ask, "What do you want to do?" and in this part of the conversation, that's when I'll tell them about the dark side of all of this and now comes the maturity because one must understand the consequences of their actions.

Curiosity. Courage. Maturity. Intelligence. Understanding a fact of life that social norms would prefer you not know about and have you thinking and believing that something like this couldn't happen to you and because you're like 45 or thereabouts and then... Mr. Murphy and his Law shows up and changes your whole life. Or, uh-huh, that one drink too many gets rid of your inhibitions and now, Rhonda knows what a lot of girls know!

 

Yes, despite what society wants you to believe, sexual desires are fluid. Your desires and interests can change as you are exposed to new things.

 

And might I be allowed to point to the many men who, upon reaching a certain older age, went from being straight to being bisexual? And, sometimes, gay? End of the day, it doesn't matter why they decided to change but, yes, sir, they changed.

 

On one hand, a lot of them were always that way, but never had an opportunity to explore that side of their sexuality. OTOH, we both know how many married men there are out there who are horny as hell but get nothing at home. They try dating apps looking for women and get nowhere, and decide to try men. I've been the first experience for a handful of guys and know for sure two of them completely flipped and don't bother with women at all anymore.

 

Give me a few minutes. I’ll get back to you.

 

People's preferences change for a variety of things over the course of their lifetime. Why should sexual preference be any different. Life situations change and can alter preferences. For me, it was primarily necessity and some degree of curiosity that led me to sex with other men. I was perfectly happy having sex with opposite sex. But, when that dried up, there was no way I was going without sex. So, I reached out to other guys in need and we helped each other satify those needs. I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I do or how desirable I seem to be with other guys. But, I've wholly embraced being a bottom as my secret sexual lifestyle. If I'm fortunate enough to one day find another female companian then all the better.

 

Life situations change. People change. The thing about sexuality that I noticed while growing up was that once you "picked a side," it seemed like you weren't allowed to change your mind about it but guys who tried it but didn't really like it could go back to being straight and get a "pass" because, okay, "Jeff," you experimented with guys but grew out of it to just being with women. It's like society never considered that people make decisions about their sexuality and, at some other point, they can make another decision. A woman goes from being straight to being a lesbian because her "luck" with men either sucked or was non-existent but if asked about why she changed her mind - and she tells them why - well, okay, girlfriend, you made the best decision for yourself.

A guy has lifetime changes take place and goes from being straight to, at the lease, bisexual and... he wasn't supposed to do that. My protege loves to fuck with his gay friends and invites them to try pussy and, predictably, they say that they never would and that once they decided they were gay, they were gay for life and there was no going back... but one of his now formerly gay friends learned that being with a woman ain't bad. Nothing in our lives is that static; we can see the need to change as well as seeing the reasons why we shouldn't, i.e., the wife would castrate us if she even though we were sexually interested in men. Double standards and other shit but if you get to be my age (69) and you'd been faithful to women and pussy but now they've abandoned you due to age-related changes, what's a fella supposed to do?

Nothing. Stay straight. Suffer while trying to suppress your need for sex and intimacy. If that doesn't warrant a change, I don't know what does or will.

 

I can only speak from my 60+ years of being on this planet. Forgive me if that gets too lengthy or repetitive. I guess you could call it a personal narrative.
Way back in my youth, almost 5 decades ago, I never once thought of being with a “dude“. I loved girls/women, and all of my pubescent fantasies revolved around them. But one faithful night, my neighbor buddy basically dared me to give him a blowjob. so I did out behind the barn. At first, I couldn’t believe I was doing it, but eventually got into it. Discovered that I liked it, and over the next couple of years we became SBs. Never thought about labeling, and that I had never even heard of being bi. I loved women, and when they came into my life, they were all I wanted. Add relationships with several women and never once thought about going back to my past.
FF to my current wife. in the initial times of our relationship, I confessed to my SB. at first, she was quite shocked. I thought she might leave me, but eventually the idea seemed to turn her on. Gay porn would really get her worked up. Fine with me. Got to the point that my latent desires for cock resurfaced. Her and her strap on led to many amazing nights. She took to the role like a horse to water. it was all of her fault when she would comment “I bet a real cock would be better”. it got to the point went during our MFMs she would suggest finding a bi guy for a MMF, but unfortunately, we could not find the elusive unicorn.
so here I am all of these years later, and my once sexual soulmate has shut down, some of it due to her change in attitude, and some due to her physical issues. it has been years since we have been intimate. I still love women, but I am not willing to risk any type of MF Relationship. Too complicated.
Why is it so hard to find a guy in my similar circumstances? a married SB that just wants to get off, and go about our business? Until the next time we both need relief, either giving or receiving?
I still do not consider myself full blown bi….. how about just sexually frustrated?