Stockpiled comebacks (retorts) that are often so useful

I like the way I gather more of these as I get older. It could be something as simple as "that's not true" or "I disagree" that can be the thing that feels like a great comeback in the moment. I've realised that I've used these quite a bit lately. The other day somebody who thinks he's higher status than me disagreed with me on something and told me why I was wrong. Before I'd have felt like there's no point in responding unless I could give a somewhat detailed response there and then. But if you know they're wrong you're entitled to say "I disagree" and there's nothing they can say back. He looked at me like I was being difficult for saying that, but fuck him.

Here's a few more. Feel free to post yours!

I can't do everything at once
don't be nosy
when's that ever stopped you?
there's always some excuse
wouldn't you rather it be a surprise?
that's beside the point
know your limit
I'll be the judge of that
well you can't have everything
all you do is complain
you asked
spit it out
let me take a wild guess...
you're making me nervous
no comment
you just look after yourself
you're too quick to take sides
stop it
don't!
you're abusing your position
it's only a rumour
don't believe everything you hear
who told you that?
I'll take my chances
no surprise there
did I touch a nerve?
where's the fun in that?
you are joking?
funny at who's expense?
don't bring me into it
worth it
be nice
you’ll have to respect my decision
don't be a bully

 

This one's gonna hurt.