Bi/gay ….anyone said I love you

Has any bi/gay guys ..expressed the word I love to you. What’s your reaction and outcome ? Being bi/gay leaning more gay would you accept being in mm love.

i have had many mm hookups and few very serious relationships. Have currently active poly relationships with few partners …always tell my hook ups want open relationships.

one hunk, I have been dating, we have been in intimate relationships…recently he told me how much he loves me, I mean everything to him. He know I’m married with young kids. My reply to him was your special partner I cherish ….he knows I’m also seeing few guys actively…..when we connected I told him that I want explore more opportunities….

Anyone can relate or provide some advise /feedback

 

I had a gay boyfriend. He professed his love for me one day and, shocks of all shocks, I felt the same way about him. It was weird because I believed that it was impossible to fall in love with another guy. It was amazing. It taught me much about myself, sexuality and, yes, being in love. On the other hand, I've had sex with guys who've said that they loved me and I learned that it wasn't me that they really loved - it was the sex and that used to piss me off until I learned to face some harsh realities about men women, feelings and sex and one important lesson I learned about having feelings for someone was that the only thing I had to do about them was accept that this is how I felt.

A woman I had an affair with told me, "There's nothing you can do about the way you feel; you can only do something about how you might act on those feelings and the only thing you really have to do is to accept that this is how you feel." She was right but we had fallen in love with each other and more lessons about the power of love were learned by both of us. Just because you feel that way doesn't mean you have to do anything about it and it's often a mistake that a lot of people make - thinking that they have to do something about those feelings. If I tell you that I love you, then all you have to do is accept that this is how I feel but what could be done about those feelings is a whole different conversation - and if that conversation is even necessary.

Finally, words have power. Sex has the kind of power that can make you believe that you're in love with the person you're having sex with when, in truth, it's the sex you're having with them that you're loving and enjoying. It should teach you to choose your words carefully because "I love you" is stupidly powerful.

He said that he was seriously in love with me; I wasn't 'seriously' in love with him but in my soul, I knew that I loved him. He asked me what we should do about this and I asked him, "What do you want to do?" and he said, "I want to suck your cock!" and... I wanted him to. I wanted to suck his cock and, boy, did it ever feel magnificent to suck him off and when my feelings, now out in the open, were driving my actions. I was married, he was single but we decided to "see what happens" and we had a relationship that my wife thought was cute - and she knew how he felt about me before he told me

Love doesn't care who you might fall in love with or who'd fall in love with you. What you might do about it is a whole different thing and just like being polyamorous is a whole different critter.

 

good on you …
thank you for sharing …
still in confused and mixed state of mind, as much we have intimate love and some common things that connect us, I’m not sure I want to commit

 

It's not about committing; that's part of the mistake in thinking/believing that "I love you" means that you have to commit to something. We are taught that if you're in love with someone, you have to do X, Y, W, R, the list goes on when you don't have to do anything other than accept that this is how you/they feel. Doing something about it is a whole different and complicated conversation since, um, if you can't commit to anything - or you don't want to - then that's a part of the conversation if it's decided that the two of you should investigate doing something about the feelings being expressed. Otherwise, "I love you" hitting your ears lets you know how they feel. You might wind up hurting their feelings because you're not in love with them but this, too, is a whole different conversation since if someone says that they love you, you are expected and required to be in love with them, too.

The problem is... what if you don't feel the same way or they don't? Uh-oh. That's kind of when you realize that words have power and that we tend to misuse and misunderstand the power of "I love you." I think that if you have all that you say you have with them but do not want to commit, then find a nice way to tell them that you don't want to commit - and tell them why you don't want to. Maybe it starts a new conversation about committing that changes the dynamics of whatever you have going on with them or... they tell you goodbye because you "obviously" don't feel the same way they do and... is this getting messy enough for you?

Is it? At the end of any day, we have to decide what's best for us all across the board. Maybe the feelings are mutual but committing to more than what you have now creates difficulties that you have no answer or solution for. And this is the moment where you set your emotions aside and let your intelligence take charge of the situation.

 

Thank you for sharing your wisdom
You’re right, I kind have mutual feelings…it’s more of my commitment ….at the same time I do want him as long term partner relative to my other partners. He is in mid 20s , built smooth Latino hunk any bi/gay man would want to be with. I am also being selfish as well, I have lot of work to think about and express my honest ask of the next steps. From day one he knows, I’m married and i do have few other partners.

I also need to respect his commitment to me as well. Will be thinking over and sharing with wife as well. As she is also seeing other men and few of them are in love with her

 

Last night I had in-depth conversation with wife and I told her I have some mixed emotions and little lost with next steps.
She asked me some simple questions …..that I didn’t bother to clue in myself. Based on the conversation, I got to unpack my actual needs and wants of him ….long story short. From the active hunks I’m seeing, this Latino fits my long term bi/gay needs, and what’s important there are many shared perspectives /views and common understanding as well. He is only 25, above average thick cock , extreamly handsome and sexy fit hunk…these types don’t come easily….at the same time I’m also intimately in-love, i didn’t open up…he did, now it’s makes sense i accept his love and desire and show my innner feelings as well….

plan to go out for lunch with him today, talk it out and plan out our next stage of our relationship….
I

 

Update …we met up for lunch couple hours ago on lunch date at a local restaurant. We picked a place that gave us some privacy …
So I opened up the conversation….by apologizing and talking about our next steps. I told him, I appreciate how our relationship has grown and how we are connected in soo many ways….I made it clear that…my wife will always be primary and our family….but we have open relationships ….at the same time I’m not ready to commit only seeing one man ….I want to experience more mm as possible….I opened up and said said to him , I love you as much as you love me, your commiteed but i want to explore ….I held his hand , looked him in the eye ..,told him you can be my primary gay lover and we can play together ….I want this to be long term ….he smiled and agreed…,after we finished lunch, we got in my car…we kissed, made out soo long then usual….our conversation continued his ask is that once a week, I spend the evening and l stay overnight at his place ….I told him shouldn’t be problem…need to let the wife know which day works …I was soo happy and excited that he agreed be together and now potentially playing more mmm ….

So we agreed to talk it out if we have any concerns or needs not being fulfilled

Officialy I’m in gay open relationship..my mind at ease and I feel good ….never owned up ..I’m in love with a man…as much as I was enjoying bi life . Feels good knowing as much I love sexy looking cock, that I’m emotionally and physically in love !!! Wow relief …as I didn’t want missed this partner …I needed to compromise and be fair.

 

Congratulations!