Rapture Coming Tomorrow September 23, Donate Today!

Yup, the Christians need to get ready cause the rapture is coming soon, in fact September 23, has been announced as the day it will happen, apparently lasting until September 24.

I guess they can't fit all 144,000 faithful in the Heavenly Tesla Taxi at once. Yes, they all have their tickets to the stairway to Heaven.

So if y'all plan on leaving soon, why don't y'all donate everything you own, esp those big Christian mansions to the poor? You won't be needing that where you're going.

Don't let all that wealth and material goods you accumulated weigh you down! Clinging to your earthly possessions will only prevent you from reaching the kingdom!

Now is the time for all good Christians to come to the aid of those poor folks left behind for the Great Tribulation. You know the next few years will be very rough as we contend with widespread Evil, Wars, Famine, Pestilence, etc.

You're gonna miss so much fun! In case you haven't noticed it's already begun!

And I guess you Xtians won't be needing those fancy churches, land, gold, etc. Donate them riches, go to heaven. They'll have it all up there waiting for you, like new!

Hey, let's just call those who leave us during the Rapture, X-tians. Cause Mulder will have to investigate their disappearance in the new X-files.

 

Happening AGAIN?

 

Oh, any Christian wanting to donate to a good cause, the Hip Forums is needy these days. We need to keep the lights on here after you leave us, so we can document the Rapture and Tribulation. I mean y'all gonna wanna know what you missed when you get back.

 

People are so mean and cruel now!!!!



Ya see them on the street and they either ignore you or say something mean...

I hate what the world has become... A piece of dog shit!!

 

you guys.
Sept. 23 is like a normal **Tuesday**
so there's no way.

 

Hey, if Jesus doesn't come down and rescue his faithful, maybe Musk can send them to Jesus in one of his big phallic spacecraft that explode on the launch pad. It's the Jesus express!

 

Can't wait!
Will the Rapture be televised?
Will it be broadcast live from the White House?
I'm sure Jesus will be very attracted to all that gold.
Will Trump be the first one to go? (fingers crossed)
Will Jesus take Trump by the hand and guide him to the promised land?
Will all his MAGA followers be welcomed too?
What about Stephen Miller? Does he qualify?

So on Sept 24th what happens?
Does Satan rise up and unleash hellfire, or just some hellfire missiles?

But wait....!
Won't AI and Crypto save us? That and Elon's robot army should be enough evil to satisfy even Satan! He can go to hell and keep stoking the fires while AI, crypto and DJT turn civilization into ruins.

 

This could be your last chance to buy pet insurance, sold by an Entrepreneuring atheist, who may raise prices, to adjust for inflation.

Your loved ones, are worth it, as far as he's concerned.

 

Last chance to do a lot of things....humm....

 

It's a Singularity, which means it expresses fourfold and fivefold symmetries as the default. Explaining Finocchi numbers. In the case of the Rapture, you could say Christians know damn well they lie to the entire world, and themselves, and live in eternal fear of the pie-in-the-face they know is coming. My work makes it easier to predict their needs, and sell them all the reassurance they require. They're correct, the Rapture is coming, but its not anything anybody wants, and Jesus will sit this one out, because God doesn't make mistakes.

 

Raptures coming?.......well....Im fucked.
My lifes for real about to be a shitty retelling of the movie Left behind.im so scared

 

You need to retain Donald as a lifetime supporter. Zen should be able to fix it up for you.

 

““But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭24‬:‭36‬ ‭;-)

 

Yup I'm sure SHE (not father), consults her cosmic timepiece to decide the day and hour, or does she just spin the dice every nano second of existence?

 

So that must mean there is no God, since mistakes are everywhere.

Then again, what is a mistake?
A miss-take?

In other words, a mistake is something unexpected, or just perceived incorrectly,
or "You took it the wrong way."

So that implies reality is not what it seems.

Or you can just believe that your God is not infallible, makes lots of mistakes! Yourself for instance.

Hey, maybe this whole universe is one big fucking mistake, and just like Trump, God denies it, says HE is infallible, it's all Bidens/Obama's and Hilary's fault things are so messed up...

 

It's a mistake to assume our mistakes are God's mistakes, while words only have demonstrable meaning, according to their function in specific contexts.

We have been given the gift of life, and free will, but that does not mean you can own words like so much spare change.

 

When worlds, stars, galaxys collide in an ecstasy of destruction and creation, is that the will of God or the will of the galaxy or of each star or each planet or each individual with free will?

It's all or nothing with God. Free will is the illusion. How else can prophets make a profit?

 

Zeno spent all his time, talking about time, because time is both the fire within which we burn, and the unforgiving ice within which our minds go numb!

Bottom line, western civilization and all of modern science are based on lies, that just turned out to make weapons and money. The truth is slowly coming out, because its impossible to hide it anymore. We are not peasants living in the Dark Ages, and over half the damn planet has been saying all along, time is not linear. The past and future merge in the present, while the Big Picture is always greater than any can imagine. Its a singularity, not a merry-go-round.

 

religon turns me off lol.too many rules and words