What's amused you today? XD

"Where's your husband?"
"Out in the garden."
"I didn't see him."
You have to dig a little."

 

Comforting a Navy veteran last night, found out she was raped by a couple guys whom she served with. Told her I went through it too while in the Marines in 2005. I was angry nothing was done about it too and glad she is getting help for it. She is glad I am going to be there for her knowing she is not alone

 

At a wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to toast the happy couple;
"All you married folks, go stand beside the one person who makes your life worth living."
The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

 

Out camping with my husband's of the family.My step niece Taylor and I were setback partners.We kicked butt beating my husband's Uncle Leonard and my nephew Mike this afternoon

 

Local Black cat partially walked me home today.

Lord T'Challa got plenty off fussing for his kindness.

 

Why are hurricanes traditionally named after women?
When they come, they're wild and wet.
When they go, they take your house and car.

 

The interwebz/humanity/world/news............



*sigh*

Mzzls

Ps.

 

Guy walks into a bar , has a couple of beers and then goes over to shoot some pool. Comes back after a while, sits on a bar stool and says to the bartender-"I betchu 300 dollars I could piss in that glass over there and never spill a drop."The glass was about 10 feet away, so the bartender scoffed and said "I'll take that bet, dumb ass." The guy says "gimmie a beer," sucks it down and pulls out his pecker. He starts to piss toward the glass, and his piss goes all over the bar, on the bar stools, on the floor on the snacks and on the bartender ----soon he is finished. As the bartender is wiping himself off, the guy goes over to the pool table and then comes back to the bar. The bartender has a huge smile on his face and says gimmie 300 bucks , dummy!!" The guy gives the bartender 300 bucks , sits down on a bar stool with a big smile on his face. The customer next to him says-"what are so happy about"? The guy says "see those 3 guys over there at the pool table"? Customer says Ÿeah-so what"? I bet each of ém 300 bucks I could piss all over the bar , the floor and the bartender and that he would be happy about it!!"

 

Made my Snap On dealer's day, he had a vintage craftsman toolbox he took on trade also a Remline. No takers and told him I know a couple people that might buy them. Called a couple nephews of mine that were looking for a good trade box for sale in their price range. Came over with a truck trailer buying them right away with their money. One liked the Craftsman and said deal and the other liked the Remline. Looked at me said he was glad they are gone finally, had no lookers looking at them.