Feel Free To Critique My Newest Santa Claus Essay.

As many of you may know by now, I like making essays and sharing them. As of late I've been leaving them in places like public restrooms too. Usually by the urinal, where someone else might pick it up and start reading it. And then I sometimes add a graph paper background to it. I just like the effect of that. Keeps it simple but elegant I think.

But this is my latest essay and I invite you to critique it. Mainly I am going for sarcasm without insulting the person reading it. Just their misguided beliefs:

You know, some people believe in Santa Claus. Well into their adult years sometimes. And that can be a beautiful thing. Because he exists in all our hearts. He always will as long as love and generosity and devotion abound. Like Francis Pharcellus Church said in 1897. But parents will tell their kids, if he's making you pull your sisters hair there's a problem. Or if he's making you set fires or vandalize things, then he has to go. And it's wonderful if you still receive an Easter basket every year too.

But like Yakov Smirnoff would point out, when you ask the Easter bunny for Easter eggs that's good. But when Easter bunny starts talking to you, we have a problem. And if the Easter bunny or Santa Claus are telling you to bomb abortion clinics or fly commercial jets into buildings, we really have a problem. Or disown your gay son or LGBTQ daughter. Or even harass your local school board because you think the Wizard of Oz and Charlotte's Web promote satanism.

And you know, if you still believe in Superman that's good too. But if Superman is telling you you can fly off the garage, that's bad. Or if he's telling you should give your life savings to some crooked preacher, then Superman has to go too.

 

Have a nice friday

Mzzls

 

I was also thinking of sharing this one, in lieu of the first:

We Know the Biblical Flood Never Occurred For The Following Reasons. by Jimbee68 posted Dec 17, 2025 at 3:45 PM

It is less confrontational. I'll have to think it over though.

 

There’s something quietly sharp about this, and I mean that as a compliment. The tone stays light on its feet, almost conversational, and that makes the punchlines land without feeling like punches. The Santa/Easter Bunny/Superman progression works because it keeps lowering the reader’s guard before slipping the point in sideways. I also like that you’re not mocking belief itself, just the moment where belief starts outsourcing responsibility. That’s where the essay breathes.

If I had one gentle critique, it’s pacing. The middle section stacks examples quickly, almost breathless, which might make some readers skim right where you want them to pause. Letting one image sit half a beat longer could sharpen the discomfort in a good way. And I’m curious: when you leave these in public spaces, do you notice which lines people linger on? Or is the anonymity part of the experiment for you?

 

Public bathrooms mainly like I said. I also l like leaving them in places like bus stops, with small papers I also copied with dollar signs on them. So people will be curious and more likely to pick them up.

 

That makes sense. The bait isn’t the essay, it’s curiosity. Dollar signs, bus stops, bathrooms – the text finds readers before they find it. Thanks for explaining.