Jokey people who make you feel you've to joke back?

It can be good to have these people as they exercise our social muscle. But there's a guy I know now at work who's almost constantly joking, and he's pushing the limits of what's appropriate sometimes. There's been a few times when I felt like saying "oh will you shut up".

He had commented a few months ago about my lunch. I do put a lot work into it and it's healthy. He started off by saying "Christ Sean, look at all the food you have... it's like a buffet". He looked at me expecting some sort of reaction but I just smirked. Then another colleague came into the canteen and this guy turned to him and started saying it louder this time; "look, Sean's got a buffet here" and pointing. The other guy just smiled too. I think I distracted him to remind him of something important and he then started talking about something else. Anyway that was all fine and I didn't think too much of it.

Fast forward to the other day and he started with the same. I wasn't in the mood for being made feel like I needed to have a good come back and was hoping he wouldn't repeated it. This time he said "Sean's a fine spread" and started repeating it louder as like he was only being funny. I must admit I did feel like I needed to have a comeback and I came back with a half measure, saying "as long as you're not jealous". This was a mistake because he immediately retorted "I'm not jealous of your nuts" with a look of contempt! Kind of like he was showing his true colours. Now who'd be able to think of a well scripted come back to that in the moment. That doesn't mean I couldn't have handled it by saying "well fuck you then". Know what I mean? it's not about the wording!

But I instead looked at him and smirked... basically trying to laugh it off. On hindsight it would actually have been a better way to accept defeat by just saying nothing... instead of smiling at him just to show him that I got that it was a joke... even though it's a joke that made me look low status to others in the room. If you'd made a slightly nasty joke at someone and you see them looking back at you and smiling, then that gives you the impression they're okay with this carry on.

A similar thing happened yesterday. He had been kind of calm for a while, and then asked me if I was in tomorrow. I said I had an annual leave day booked. Then he started going off... "gee, this guy's got it so easy" blah blah. I joked back that I said cut a deal with the roster manager (who we all hate) implying that I was buddies with him. Obviously I was only joking, but in saying that, the premise of his joke was a bit stupid. Everyone gets annual leave... doesn't mean I'm lucky.

There's a time for trying to come back with something clever. And there's a time for just dismissing the joke. Watch Elton dismiss Letterman's joke here at 1:41:

 

You must spend a lot of your time worrying about what other people think.

 

Thinking, not "worrying". I'm just more introspective than most. I'm not surprised you've nothing to add.

Not caring about what others think, usually goes hand in hand with lack of desire to make anything of oneself. If I relied on substances - like you do - then I might care less of what others think too.