Wish i knew where all the feelings and desires came from....

Thanks Rising Bi and Bisexualmg. I really appreciate your comments. More than you know. THank you to everyone

 

I had the very same feelings and fantasies for many years. At 16-18 years of age, I was having sex with several neighborhood girls being the normal teenaged heterosexual man. Then at 18 I went into the military and the first time I was in that huge shower with 60 other men I couldn't stop looking around at all those cocks as my own began to get hard. I hid it by lathering up and tried not to stare but it was difficult. I suppressed any thoughts I had during my service. After serving I married and started a family and for the next 13 years never once had any thoughts about other men even being hit on several times. Then around age 36 my wife was not wanting to have sex 2-3 times a week any longer, it dropped to about once a month as I was masturbating to porn. While doing so, I began to picture myself getting sucked and sucking the dick in that porn. The feelings were back again. I believe more men have these thoughts than people realize, especially married men. The thoughts and fantasies to suck dick with another guy got stronger and stronger. Yes, I eventually gave in to a proposition from a gay man, and his oral skills were far better than most of the women I'd ever been with. Yes, afterwards I had even more thoughts going through my head, am I gay for letting a guy suck my dick, I just cheated on my wife with another man, OMG it was difficult to deal with but now the desire to suck a man's dick became overpowering until I eventually gave in to them and experienced it firsthand. To my surprise, I enjoyed it far more than I ever thought I would and that scarred me too being married to a woman and having children. As the sex life between my wife and I continued to stagger, I was sucking more and more dicks with other married men in the same boat as myself. Over time I stopped having feelings of guilt and just enjoyed the moments. It happens more often than people realize.

 

Once it comes in you, you can’t shut it down. You need to test it …depending on that experience it will change what direction your lifestyle leads you to

I was always straight, I actually made bad remarks about gay and bisexual ppl in my teeens and early 20s…..

howevr things changed when I married my wife and we tried different fun stuff in bed …she was addicted to gay porn …..many times I would watch with her …she got me to wear thongs, I started to like it….then I began to look at models in thongs …this lead to life turning point for me….where I met this super sexy fit smooth hunk in the gym …I started to have desire to look at him more n more ..few times he caught me. One day he caught me in the locker room alone…late evening. He noticed I was on to him , he walked up and confronted and seduced me and I couldn’t resist…wow that experience forever changed who I am today …..after that session our relationship become more serious we had many encounters weekly…,I began to wanting more and developing desire to wanting bother men….I lived with this guilt some time and it bothered me. Eventually I opened up to my wife …..we have an open relationship and she supports me who I am and we have kids and she is also exploring on her own …i service some of her lovers and we have many threesome….now I have become more leaning gay then bi …and have active lovers and one serious gay relationship….

My recommendation to you is don’t shut it down, enjoy the needs you’re looking for, mental health will be stronger and you will have peace of mind …

look at me who went opposing this life to living this lifestyle and enjoying it

 

if you can reconcile your desires and conscience, and you play smart, just enjoy Life..