I now know I have lost something special

If you are hung up on a breakup for to long, I believe there comes a time when you just know you lost something big. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it is difficult. I know because I have lost something special and its the first time I have personally felt this.

Its been almost three months since we ended it. I have even been in another relationship (the girl with bi polar/ADD), caitlin. but it ended recently. The more I look at it, the more I realize it was a rebound relationship. Now that I am single, I realize I still care for my ex before cait. It took no time to get over cait.

This ex of mine is at my college, I have seen her a few times the past 5 weeks. I have not seen her in 16 days though. The last time I did see her, I was with a friend Ryan, and Ryans friend, who I had just met. We stopped to see Ryans ex. Than went down the hall to see mine. Just stopping to say "hi" turned into a 90 minute talk about this and that, mostly between the two of us while other two just kinda chilled. She seemed nostaglic a little and brought up some of the things we did first semester, granted they were nights before we dated but she seemed to have fond memories. And she was wicked kind.

She was just so pretty and amazing and sweet and I do miss her and what we had. I was her first BF and sometimes I know how lucky I was to be that first boy. I sometimes remember the many hours of phone calls and aim chats and they still go through my head sometimes. I have trouble sleeping and I do still think of her. I wanted to be a sweety towards her and we were both falling....Only problem is when I talked to her about a month ago, I made sure to tell her about cait...and she told me of her guy she was seeing and they were seeing where things would go between them. I am sure she has found a guy, granted I, or any of my friends, have yet to see her with anyone. But I am sure there is someone.

But we have gone through the typical "ex" stuff of not talking at times...She said it wasn't a good sign that we couldn't even say hi to each other...than again, after that, we than talked during the super bowl and we talked for quite sometime that one night 16 days ago and things seemed so cool again. But now its been 16 days and we haven't bumped into each other at all, granted I have been away from campus and unreachable most of the time.

But what do I do now? I can't tell her how I feel. I already did one week after we broke up and it was just to soon. But how do I hide these feelings? Losing her completly would suck and I don't wanna mess up. I am still friends with a few of her friends so I am bound to see her in the near future. But I do miss her! How do you rekindle old feelings without looking obvious. My window is closing....so confused

 

Help a brutha out....pllleeeeassee, I'm always posting on the relationship board with great, well thought out advice, now I need yours!!! Is there something I need to add? Any specific questions you need to know?

Thanks

 

you didn't mention how you broke up... is it something that should stay permenent?

have you tried to get over her? I mean, just because the time has passed doesn't necessarily mean anything... when I needed to get over someone, I forced myself to focus on the negative things about them. It may sound kinda cruel, but whenever you find yourself thinking how great she is, remind yourself about that one little thing.

that said, if you really can't get over her, and you think that there is a chance that she might want to get back together, depending on how close to her friends you are, you might want to talk to them. Obviously, this may not be a good idea, but I know it would work in my clan.
Find one of them who you trust and who knows her well, and ask them to honestly tell you if it's worth pursuing.

 

I think you should give her a call and get together with her. Just you and her. It doesn't necessarily have to be a date. Find some place where the both of you can go and talk.

I wouldn't be afraid to talk about my feelings with her. You'll accomplish a lot more being honest with her and letting her know how you really feel.

 

I second this opinion. You could talk to her friends; but why? Much easier to just talk to her.

 

The breakup wasn't terrible as we have remained decent friends. Like I said, there have been times where things were sorta awkward or we didn't talk, but thats part of breaking up.

Yeah, I tried getting over her. I wrote the list of her faults (not many to begin with), I went home (for break) for 3 and a half weeks, I dated someone else and I stayed away from her at times...But she is still in my head, my heart beats for her...But at this point, I am nervous to tell her how I feel as her feelings may not be similar to mine. And her friends, it may not be good to get them involved. They helped me once. Part of the reason is her twn sis, she helped me the first time but after we broke up, she said she sorta regretted it. But should I just be a good friend to her? I mean, what should I say to ask to hang out so she knows I am not doing it just to get back together?

 

Just about everyone in the world has to go through the torture of a broken heart, once OR MORE, and this is your time. I suggest that you take either of two paths: (1) Let her know, somehow, that you're interested in dating again . . . and try again (with the possibility that you will be rejected, which will make you feel even more tortured, but at least you gave yourself a chance at what you want); or (2) realize that you have been wounded, that the cause of that wound is your old gf, that if you hang around with your old gf you'll increase the size of your wound, and that if you want to recover from your wound, you need to stay away from the cause of your wound (i.e., your old gf) for months or possibly years. Good luck.

 

We had so much, 4 days in a row with 90+ minute phone calls, one as long as 150 minutes (I am shy) and numerous aim convos over 3 hours and so much time together...I could not imagine just having her out of my life and I hope she feels the same, but I don't want to be annoyingly persistent.

 

You might consider getting off high center.

This has worked for me in the Past:
1...

2...

3...

Go for it!

 

haha, i shouldn't have imed her today and waited till after break...it woulda been a month or so of no contact and things may have been fresh.

 

you imed her? what happened? (if i can ask... )

 

Not to much, just asked about work cos we work at the same job, but I missed it cos I though it had been cancled since the rest of the school was shut down, apparently work was still in progress. Talked about spring break...but really it was a short talk cos she had to go. she went to the gym, which she does everyday. I was gonna go shoot hoops but a team was practicing. oh well. Yeah, its bad that I stil miss her.

 

If you're going to be in contact with her in any way, you might as well "go for it." It's nice & thoughtful of you that you don't want to be too persistent, and don't want to harass her. But it seems as though she's not sending you any "slow down" or "stop" signals, so go for it. Either go for this woman who is a true love, or cease all contact with her so that you don't get hurt even worse than you were hurt before.