Help! My son is almost four and has been going to the toilet by himself for a while now but lately he is having at least one "accident" a day. He gets "busy" and doesnt tell anyone he has to go or he just "forgets" to go (those are his words). He is going to start pre-school soon and they require all the kids to be 100% potty trained. Has anyone else had this problem? What did you do to correct it? We dont want to be negative or harsh with him and we have been very encouraging and positive but I am getting worried. Any suggestions?
well, i suggest not spanking for this infraction. if he gets 'too busy' or 'forgets' maybe you could set up a reminder system - like set a cooking timer to go off every hour. it would also remind you to send him to the potty.
My oldest son, who is 5 years old now, went through a similar phase around the same age as your son. He would just get too involved in an activity and instead of stopping and going to the bathroom, well, he'd do it in his pants. *lol* Luckily, it didn't last long, and a lot of our problem with our son was contributed to the fact that we had just given birth to a set of twins, so he had some very difficult adjusting to get used to the new additions to the family, and sharing the spotlight with two other siblings. We were gentle with him, telling him we knew that he could do it (use the potty) and that whatever he was doing would be there for him when he returned. Basically, we gave him a lot of positive reinforcement to boost his confidence and make him feel like "hey, I can do this!" He outgrew the habit within a very short amount of time. I know it's frustrating when you're used to a potty-trained child and suddenly they regress. But take heart, it more than likely is a brief passing phase. Have you done anything new to his daily life that may have upset the balance? Moving, for example, expecting a new baby, switching babysitters if you use one? Kids sense more than many people give them credit for, and it can knock things out of whack, KWIM? Good luck to you!
my cousin had a problem like this. also at the same age. she also has a younger brother which was considered as "the problem". she would go pee to the toilette, but not the other thing. she requested a diaper for that. I guess she just also wanted to be cared for, like the little one. I mean diaper changing is in a way an intimate thing. So they had argues about it, and tried many things. The thing that finally worked was either a bach-flower-remedies or a classical homeopathic remedy. You can look the things up in the books. Treating children with these techniques is not that complicated. First it got worse, which is a good sign, and suddenly she would go to the toilet to poo.
Hey thanks folks I appreciate it. I like the timer suggestion. He likes watches so maybe we can get him one with an hourly alarm or something. And its good to know others have had similar problems.
It's perfectly normal. I'd say 99% of kids go through it. The timer idea is excellent. Also, whenever Maddie has an accident, she cleans it up. She rinses out her undies and pants, she puts them in the wash, and she cleans up any other mess that incurs.
heh - thanks - yeah, i use the timer solution for a lot of different things - my boys still work well with timers, right now i'm using them for homework. they get 20 minutes free time when they get home, then it's 20 minutes of work hard followed by 5 minutes of nag-free break as long as they are actually working during the 20 minute sets. gets them through it, sometimes my oldest has homework for 4 hours good luck with the watch - my boys always promptly lost/broke theirs, i must have bought them each at least 10 or 15 watches so far. be sure not to spend too much money on it, then you don't have to stress if something happens to it...
Did you find that it started happening after a particular incident or a new and on-going situation? The timer idea works well, but if the problem lingers, you son could develop a condition called "endocrisis" (sp?). In either case, the school, dods or not, has to take him in if he sees a doctor and the doc says that its a medical condition.
Well I guess I should give some background to answer that. My wife and son live about 600 miles away from me. She is finishing her degree and when that is finished they will move here with me. We have been apart for almost a year now. I get home or they come to visit usually once a month. Recently my wife has been able to quit working full time and now gets to spend more quality time with him and he spends less time with her parents. He doesnt seem stressed out by this though. In fact he seems much happier spending more time with mommy. I guess it is a change though and that might have something to do with it.
That might have something to do with it. My son was fully potty trained months before the birth of our second child. About 2 mos. after the second arrived, our oldest reverted for some reason. This was 4 years ago, and he still has accidents on a somewhat regular basis. Our youngest son has been potty trained for a year, and has only had one accident, this was during training and at night!
That is too much to expect from a 4 year old. NO four year old (well few of them) are "100% potty trained" I would look for a school that is more tolerant. Sage goes to a small Christian Nursery School. 14 kids, two teachers, and they all have to bring a change of clothes, as the director and the teachers know that kids DO have accidents. The timer thing is great. I had to do this with Sage at this age, as she started wetting again, after being trained, because she was "too busy" to remember to go potty. Also, be very matter of fact when kids have accidents. That is why they call them "accidents" the child usually has NO control over them.
Oh, one more thing. Sage was also taking a food based vitamin which had Parsely in it. This herb stimulates the urinary tract, and I think she was too sensitive to it. I changed her vitamin and she got somewhat better. She rarely has accidents now, but she still does once in a while. (She's almost 5 and a half.)
