Hi, I've gotten into a relationship with a girl who is medicated for depression. I think she is intelligent, beautiful, fun, and all the rest, but I find it very hard to be around her sometimes when she is having a bad day. I feel like nothing I can do will make her happy and this is hard because I want to badly. Anway, I'm questioing whether or not it is wise to continue the relationship with her because it is so difficult and I'm noy sure anything I ca do will help her. I think that it may be a demon she eeds to grapple with herself. On the other hand, I think she is an exceptional person. DO any of you have ay experience dealig wiht a situatio like this? Thanks
i have some experience with this, yes. i had a very much more complicated issue than just her being depressed, but the basic gist of what i learned is that it all depends on your intent if your intention for being with her is to love her, then i see no reason why you should stop if your intention is something else, maybe thats why nothing you do seems to help? if you are with her for a reason other than to love her, and her depression is getting in the way of what you intended, then yes go ahead and end it now.
ahisma, There are many books that address this question of 'how to'. Suggest you go get one. The quick advise though: Don't try to 'make' her feel better - because you're not, you're really doing it for yourself because you are not comfortable with her being depressed. This may be part of who she is and you'll have to either learn to accept it - or not. You also need to know what you are able to deal with. You have to put yourself first. Don't blame her or try and make her change - but if it is something that you can't deal with then you need to admit and be honest about it. The last thing she needs is to feel guilty because you blame her for not being 'happy' enough. At the same time, you should never feel bad if you sometimes have to say 'enough - I'm going out because I need a break from your depression'. Strongly suggest you go get a book - or do a web search. There are many people with depression, and many people who offer advise on how to deal with it. Good luck.
i am a depressed girl in a relationship and if i was her i probably wouldn't take it too well, to make her happy find out what she does and sacrifice some of your time to her and do some of those things with her, take her to a really nice movie and try to tell her how much you love her and no offence but if you are going to let her issue get in the way then you are waisting your time and you never should have gotten into the relationship because if you end it she might be hurt really bad, the question is do you love her enough to withstand this acnd conquor this problem. i know how she might be feeling, i am very depressed right now but my boo makes everything better, all by looking me in the eye and saying that he loves me, it is that simple.
I understand that you think I should be supportive, and, beleive me, I want the best for her. It is very draining to be in a relationship with some like this. honestly, when she is in an "up" stage I think we could have a very good relationship. However, I also know that shes been grappling with this for most of her life, so its not something I think she'll ever totally. When she is down, it is reallyt hard on both of us, and I don't know that I can deal with it. Call it a frailty on my part or whatever, but iuts something I know about myself. Anyway, I have to decide whether this is something I want to involve myself in. If not, its fairest to us both to be prompt and clear. I dunno. I really do care for her, but I've been through this before with family, and I don't know if its something I can constantly live with. Peace
