The title's pretty self-explanitory, but I'll elaborate a bit. I've been with my bf for over ayear and a half. I got pregnant within the first month that we were together, and we now have an eight month old daughter. The problem is, even throughout my pregnancy, he was insanley jealous. It was so bad that when we were living in a house with three of HIS male friends, if I sat down on a couch beside one of them, or if one of them sat down on the couch beside me, he would get so pissed off that he'd storm out of the room. He still filps out if I even have my feet somewhere near another guys feet. I do not know what to do. Everytime we go out or have friends over and try to have a good time, he flips out and ruins everything. Like makes the hugest scene and ruins everybody's night. I've noticed it's worse when he drinks so he says he's gonna stop drinking, but I've heard that from a lot of guys. He embarrases me so much not to mention he's changing me. Lately, I've realized that I've totally closed myself off from other people and their friendships. I also noticed I won't sit beside guys anymore. It's fucked. I don't want to belike that. I want him to change his jealous/insecure ways, but it seems more like he's changing me. What should I do? Have any of you been here and know how I could make his insecurities and jealousies dissapear? We have a kid so I'm really trying to be patient, but my patience is running out. Any advice would be awesome
wow this brings back memories.. My ex was like that and so I dumped him. But since you have a child with him, I know its not that easy.. He should never make you feel that way, no one ever should. I would have a serious discussion with him, tell him exactly how you feel, and if he is an ass about it and doesnt listen or respect what you have to say, he doesnt derserve you. He sounds like he is the one with insecurities and is blaming you for his problems. He should trust you and you need to tell him that. I know its hard but you shouldnt have to take that kind of crap, and he should not do that to you cause I know what it feels like and how embarrassing it is and how you are scared to even look at anyone for that the fact that he might flip out.. I wish you luck sweetie...
"I want him to change his...." at which point you've the struggle of women everywhere. men, we don't change. probably not what you wanted to hear.
Maybe you should want her to chain herself in a room so she has no other human contact. Perhaps he could feed her through a slot in the door? Get a clue. That's some of the most ridiculous advice I have ever heard. Hell, I think Dr. Phil could even come up with something better. As a male, I know it's inevitable that jealousy may creep up from time to time. But for someone to get upset and pissy because you're sitting next to his friends seems close to the edge. As Mystical suggested, you really need to discuss this stuff with him. If he's unable to rationally discuss this issue with you, well, maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship. IMO, it's bound to fail IF there is no trust. You shouldn't have to stop yourself from sitting next to another male just because he sees that as infidelity. That's just plain stupid. I know that having the child together may complicate things, but if he's unable to cope with you having your own life, then imagine what it will be like years down the road. Not only will you be unhappy, but your child may be as well. First of all, talk to him. He deserves a chance to explain himself. But make sure to stand your ground and let him know exactly how you feel. If he can't take you seriously, then, he probably doesn't deserve you. Take care & I hope all goes well for you...
Actually, I think you can slide a pizza under the door... I seriously doubt it. Either way they're both twits. And don't listen to the family counsellor who will tell you that for the "family unit to survive, the adult relationship must survive..." That's more crap designed to keep women with abusive husbands, mostly as a control device. The child comes first, then you, then everything else, then him.
I agree with shroom's advice... also, it sounds like he is a jealous person, by nature... it seems like you didn't know him too long before you got pregnant and he was jealous pretty much the entire relationship right?... talk to him, but it doesn't sound like things will change easily, so consider what's important to YOU and your child. staying in a bad relationship, one with emotional abuse and full of insecurity isn't the best environment to raise a child either. :/ sorry i'm not much help...
You guys are funny. Okay... Micheal... I'll start with you. I don't play footsies with his friends. He accuses me of resting my feet too close to other people's if they're in a square foot radius. I never pay attention to that kinda thing... I don't think many people do... but he does. That was just an example to show you just how jealous he was... and why should I stop drinking? I mean, I have kid. It's not like I do it all the time, but once in a while I like to get hammered and it's not fair that just cause he acts like a ass when he drinks, I have to suffer. Philly and Mystical, I've tried talking to him so many times...ah!! After everytime he freaks out and humiliates me infront of everyone, they leave and then he expects me to be all good. It's so retarded... It reminds me of my parents. Get drunk. fight. forget about it in the morning. But I'm not like that. he always cries and says he'll never do it again and he'll stop drinking... it just pisses me off so much. I was in this harsh abusive relationship for three years and he used to say the EXACT. SAME. THING. I know this is nowhere near as bad, but what should I do. Like... do you guys think something like this is serious enough to break up over? I just miss going out with friends and having a good time... it almost feels lke he gets jealous of seeing me having a good time with other people and has to ruin it. Thing is this has been going on for like 1.5 years and at the beginning I said if he hadn't changed by 1.5 years, I'd leave.... I just don't like the person I feel like he's changing me into...
i've been in a situation kinda like this. Usually when they are jealous, your right they are insecure, and two they don't trust the relationship. Talk to him about how he feels about the two of you, Ask yourself is this what you really want. you can't change people, people have to change on their own (or at least think it was on their own).
've been in a situation kinda like this. Usually when they are jealous, your right they are insecure, and two they don't trust the relationship. Talk to him about how he feels about the two of you, Ask yourself is this what you really want. you can't change people, people have to change on their own (or at least think it was on their own). __________________ I know exactly what I want! Him to stop being an ass and trust me like he should. All his exex were sluts and cheated on him, so I see where he's coming from, but it's been a year and a half... I'm not his exes. We have talked about this together a million times... he says the same thing everytime... that's why I'ma t my mum's right now... What would you guys do? You love your boyfriend but he's insanly insecure and jealous and has been for a year and a half. I just feel like he'll never trust me...
if there's no trust, its impossible for there to be comfort, and if he loves you back it must be a constant struggle. This problem is his. If it were me i'd seperate from him for a while and tell him to think about how much he's hurting me by not trusting me. I'd still call to see how he's doing to see what progress he's made and if I felt in my heart that there wasn't any, I stay seperated until it happens. But I wouldn't wait around forever
Jesus Christ, I hope you're kidding. Leaving him is fine but suing for child support in this situation is pathetic. If so, at least only until she can work again, if she isn't already.
are you dating my ex? heh get out of it before you truely start to think that's what love is and see a counselor because even though it's not outright abuse it can fuck you up more then you know and make you unhealthy.
ummm.... if it's his child he has a legal obligation to care for that child. she shouldn't have to do it alone just because she leaves his sorry ass.
Ya. I did take a break... for like 2 weeks. I'm going back tomorow. Oh, I hope he's thought about his shit. I guess only time will tell. If he hasn't got over it, I'm going to tell him to leave. Thanks a lot guys. Wish me luck
