I was lookign through all these threads and noticed alot of women speaking of boyfriends, husbands, girlfriends, partners in general. Are there any other women in the forums, like myself, who are happy to be single?, have no wants of marriage or children? I've had a few funny looks when I state my prefered way of life. My simple reply is 'What law states a woman HAS to marry and have children?'. In my own view, the human population is at explosion standards anyway, we really don't need anymore. Anyway, I've learned to enjoy my singleton life. I don't have to think about how my decisions will affect anyone but me. Whatever I buy is mine, bought with money I earned, it need not go to children or partners. When I get a place of my own, it will be mine, and mine alone. Okay, some people don't like solitude (I have a friend who goes to pieces if she hasn't got a boyfriend) but me, I actually enjoy it, I can meditate, I can draw, I can write, it's great fun. So, are there tohers that follow this viewpoint on life? Surely I am not the ONLY woman who doesn't think that marriage, love, and children are essential parts of life.
I don't think that marriage or children are essential for me. I never plan on having kids, and I dont' much believe in marriage. But I do think a life devoid of love is incomplete. That said, there are many types of love. While I enjoy having a romantic partner, I don't need one... they're just fun to have. Like an amazingly close friend with whom you can exert your libido on But in all truth I'd rather have a best friend than a romantic partner - partners come and go, friends are harder to break up with (or so I've found)
I know quite a few women that have no children or ever will, by choice. Some have partners, some don't. I see nothing wrong with the desire to have a partner and kids, but will agree that that shouldn't be all that defines a person, and that people should be able to live alone without going crazy or rushing into a relationship because they can't stand the idea of not having a partner, any partner. I've been on both sides of the fence and have enjoyed them each in turn. your only 21...you may change your mind at a later date. I did. My money is still my own, I'm the Queenbitchgoddess in charge of my home...I just share it with two (now grown) beautiful kids.
I'm single by choice, too. And have been almost all my life, although just around your age, in my early twenties, I tried having a relationship a few times. I don't say I'll never find anyone -I have fallen in love a few times- but I certainly am not actively looking and I'm inclined to hold it off... I'm quite happy without attachments. Fortunately I rarely get comments from people who think it's weird or who try to convince me to date. Only a couple times guys who asked me out were quite disbelieving (if someone asks me in a bar or something I always want to say that yes I do have a boyfriend but I'm a lousy liar so usually I forget and already say 'no' before remembering... but I don't care much for bars either so it's rarely an issue). And often Moslims have a hard time understanding, in their culture it's still much less accepted.
Yeah, and I get flack about it too. And alot of ninnies who are on a mission to "find me a man". Twits. Alot of women are embracing the single life these days, you aren't alone.
I'm embracing the single life. I love it. This is the first year since I've been 14 that I haven't either had a boyfriend or was seeing a guy. Not for any other reason than things just happened that way, but this year I've kind of *had it* with dating and relationships and I just want space. And the thought of getting back into a relationship is not appealing to me. It won't happen for a long time. My mom noticed my "single-ness" and asked me if I had become a lesbian She can't imagine why I don't care about marriage....I just don't care. I never have....I am fine by myself and I always will be. I'm sure I will fall in love again one day...I've been in love before and it's wonderful to have someone who is your best friend like that but ultimately I'm my own best friend and I'm never looking for it to happen to me. I'm also VERY picky about who I consider having a relationship with and I won't ever settle. So if that means being single then so be it. I don't think I will ever want children either.
I feel the same way as you, but I do have a boyfriend with whom I've been for over 2 years. However, we both have no desire to ever get married or have children. So, it's kinda like having the best of both worlds. I love being with him, and I love the fact that I never have to be married or have any kids. I don't have to worry about (meaning, take care of) anyone but me. I like having a partner who loves being with me but who is also independent. We're individuals but we both benefit and enjoy being in a relationship. So yeah, I can definitely understand where you're coming from. I don't think I'd want to be single for life or anything, but there's nothing that says you have to get married or have kids. I do believe love is a beautiful thing, and it's great when you find it, but some people can be happy without having a significant other as well.
For me, I think friendship companionship, trust and respect from all of my relationships, be they romantic or not is more important to me than labels "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" I think if I had this, I would be more than content with being 'single' for the rest of my life. I dont want children, or marriage... I dont think I ever really did... Though I think its wonderful that there is a 'new' way of thinking... I think girls like us who dont want the conventional white dress, husband and children face some tough social consequences... like, not only having to construct an alternative, but deal with others perceptions of that alternative.
I'm fine either way, single or coupled, but I'd prefer being alone to being in a relationship where I am not satisfied with my own choice of partner.
I think there should be no "Standard" about relationships. If one is happy and single, that is great for them, if one is happy and partnered, that is great, too. I enjoy being married and having children (on occasion I envy my untethered freinds, but not often) but not everyone wants that. I can't think of anything worse than feeling forced to partner, if you don't want to. Blessings to all
Good to know I'm not the only one happy to be single. I'm happy for those that do find joy living with a partner, but for me, nah, not my kind of life. To each their own, I always say
I like sex. But I don't like sex with strangers. So, I am a serial monogamist. I spent a little over a year celibate and relationship free - I had some issues that I needed to get worked out within myself, so I put that aspect of life on-hold. If I didn't have the guy that I have (who is absolutely wonderful!) and if I didn't like sex so much, then I would be happy being single. But, sex and Michael are two things I don't want to be without, so...
