Defending an Oasis?(thoughts about negativity in any community)

Okay, this is important to me, I've been thinking and questioning and would like some POSITIVE, CONSTRUCTIVE replies, if anyone feels so inclined that is!


Q. What do you do when your spiritual 'oasis' becomes the playground for egotistical passive-aggressive type people?
(This can happen through such PSYCHOPS-type acts as starting rumors to turn people against each other, creating 'static' to confuse communications, argument for arguments sake, using real or imagined 'puppets' to intimidate others viewpoint, trying to 'take over the collective' ,etc etc.)

This negativity can be taking place in a country, a church, a forum, or anywhere you can imagine! (believe me! it really can!)

I'm looking for a rational, helpful, kind discussion here...
So, please...
a) judge ideas not people
b) try to actually understand what someone is saying
c) try to keep communications consice and clear
d) stick to the point
e) be KIND ,dammit! (we're at a hippy website fer chrissakes.)


and so...

 

i ask again...

Q. How do you defend your 'oasis' from egotistical passive aggressiveness?

 

I work on me

That was for your first question, the second is a bit different

 

It's only 9:30 and already I've had my mind blown twice today! Damn...

 

Thanks for responding. Are you talking about not letting negative people IN to begin with? Thats a novel thought.

But, if you are a bigger open organization,I guess, you become a target by emitting positive energy...positive energy attracts people. Who ,in turn, attract power-hungry people. This seems to have been the case in nearly every movement (artistic, political, religious etc) EVER created. Unless it destroyed itself before being co-opted.
Also, what about America? In my humble opinion, the Fundamental Christian rise to power in the US political realm is frightning. (NOTE: I'm not here to argue whether the 'right' is better than the 'left' etc etc etc...as I think both are wicked and vote Green! but thats beside the point.) I bring this up because it's what inspired me to question what peaceful people can do when pushy negative people begin comandeering public, shared space.


Turning your back or leaving the area while someone else suffers seems to reek of cowardice...as this is what I have personally done and felt shame for years afterward. Maybe I should take a course on interpersonal dynamics or sumthin'.
In the meantime,
Anyone had personal experiences with this??
Keep the suggestions coming, this is important, I think!
Thanks!

 

I would say that peaceful people should not compromise


Do you think there could be a "fair" or "just" war?

Peaceful people make love


You in Buddhist forum
Work on you and love
Enjoy

 

labelling is sometimes useful. Hell, 'everything' 'is' sometimes 'useful'.

Who would deny that some people can be rude and selfish? Or should I begin speaking in E-prime? (please, no)
Perhaps I should ignore that people 'in the pit' are being beaten by drunk hooligans and no body is 'violent' enough to throw them out...or maybe i should just go home and 'work on myself'.(???) C'mon...
People ( for the most part)can't walk the streets at night ( in a growing majority of neighborhoods around my generalized location) and our ( representative) democracy is being replaced by ( what I perceive to be) a heirarchy....what's a solution? A direction to change this?
'All is Maya forget about others and Concentrate on Breathe?'
is this the answer I'm getting?
Isn't there some Buddhist conception of community?


perhaps I sound a bit priggish.Perhaps I'm a bit pushy.
If so, I'm sorry,I don't mean to be offensive.

I still think the question is valid. and (to my satisfaction) unanswered.
so...again:
Anyonehave REAL experiences with this kind of situation?
What did 'you' do to 'change' the perceived negativity into perceived positivity?

(In case I'm not communicating clearly, let me say, I am enjoying this discussion! Conflict can be productive!)

 

Negativity towards negativity is a positive, as is positivity towards positivity.

 

i defend it by asking them politely to get the fuck out of my living room.


unfortunately, pagan groups are notorious for their "witch wars", of which i want no part. it happens. it doesn't mean that the people are negative or mean, but the pattern they get locked into sure is. i am not responsible for breaking someone else's pattern; it is not within my power to alter another person's mindset and behavior. so after too many experiences watching people i loved and respected turning themselves into petty, narrow-minded morons over some insignificant ego-based spat that has been blown so far out of proportion neither party can see how silly it is, i decided to go solo. i'm a solitary, which means i practice my faith at home, alone. i may attend pathsharings with a local inter-faith pagan church, and i may go to larger open circles for occaisional sabbats, or enroll my child into the unitarian sunday school, but ultimately it is me who is responsible for my own spirituality, and my spiritual "oasis" must be not a group or a place, but something i carry with me, inside, that cannot be attacked and therefore need not be defended.

i'm trying very hard to believe in community, but i also need to set boundaries within myself. for me, spirituality is something that is far too personal for me to be comfortable with in a group setting anyway, and so i practice alone.

 

"Isn't there some Buddhist conception of community?"


"Anyonehave REAL experiences with this kind of situation?
What did 'you' do to 'change' the perceived negativity into perceived positivity?"

All you have to do is focus on your own thoughts
(and try to understand or keep in mind it is your responsibility to think what you think, i mean you choose to think)

Are they positive or negative? Can u qualify as such such a thing

You thought i was not livin in the world as you do?
I witness it and go thru

"In case I'm not communicating clearly, let me say, I am enjoying this discussion! Conflict can be productive!)"

Yes Going Home, same here
But clear can be crystal clear,
and it becomes hardly seenable