Alright, I often wonder how my future will go if I were to ever come out. Because right now, I'd say I have really low self-esteem and low self-confidence. It's been that way since the beginning of High School...I'm usually quiet and reserved, have very little friends, and don't get out much. Every social event that I am involved in is usually a pressure point for me. Everyday I wonder if such a low-life like mine is due to my refusal to come out. If I were to come out, perhaps everything would naturally unfold in my favor. (With some risks, of course) Fortunately enough, this year has been a pretty good year for me. I am a little more outgoing and sociable, and I am more open to attending any social events. I truly feel that part of this improvement is due to the fact that I have been able to quietly recognize and accept myself as a homosexual, knowing that I would never be happy unless I am true to myself. Now, the next step is to come out, even to a few people, whenever that may occur. Hopefully, my self-esteem will build up. Does this make sense? Because I can keep questioning and analyzing this simple theory, yet take no immediate action to do so...
it makes sense to me. I wish you the best of luck. you do seem like you have it all together just take it all one step at a time, one day at a time. peace out my friend, bob
Yeah, makes a ton of sense! Just come out start with like your best friend, or a good friend, someone who wouldnt let you down, after that your confidence will improve. Good luck! -Leki PS. If you wanna talk AIM me at hopeswishz or send me a message thru email (I dont wanna post it, but send me an email thru this site. Jus, click on my name and it'll bring you to my profile.
hey Coming out can be difficult...as far as self esteem... I have this theory...I dont think it necessarily is the only cause of self-esteem problems, but i think it can apply to many... If one is to EVER, EVER mock someone else, make fun of someone else, talk about someone else behind his/her back...they are going to get what they gave in the long run...by that I mean, that person who did the mocking will feel self-conscious, and all that jazz. Now, why, you ask? Because doing so grains this image into one's head that if they aren't "normal" that (just like you did) others will judge you. This person subconsciously fears that he/she will be judged by others, when in reality, most times,they wont. Realizing that people aren't costantly judging is important as well. Now, dont take this as me saying oyu are a gossiper, because I dont know you, but if you do gossip or any of that jazz, then consider what I said...I remember I used to be self-conscious, and I learned to shut up when I should, and now I feel so mcuh better... Coming out feels great...first test out waters with your best friends by bringing up homosexuality in a conversation- for exmaple, ask what htey think abuot gay marriage issues. Their response should give you an idea of how they feel about gays. If they are sympathetic, then they will surely accept you that way, even if they think it is a litlte bit odd at first. Just try and be as down-to-earth as possible, and things should be ok. Once you tell one person- you feel GREAT. Tehn you get in this cycle of telling more andmore people- its a liberating feeling. Sorry for the long post- hope things turn out alright...luckily when I came out as bisexual things were cool.... Cheers,and love Dylan
hi have just appected that i am bi and have told 2 of my mates and i beter for do so thay are cool about it and feel happyer for doing so. just be your self and dont try be some one your not like i did. it wont work as i am finding out at the age of 36 and marred for 14 yers. and it's going to get messy . good luck to you and be happy
Thanks, guys... Self-Consciousness is very important to possess, because you need to maintain a balance in your life...You don't wanna go too overboard or fail to suffice...That conscience will help you maintain that balance. In my case, I'm trying to be wary of my actions and surroundings, and as I begin to unwravel my desires, I am trying to keep the balance as I go. Anyway, I still have one concern with this whole issue... While it seems strategically smart of me to be analyzing and taking this situation step by step, I often get worried at the fact that maybe I am analyzing too much. You know, an "actions speak louder than words" type of scenario...I could have so many ideas and analysis that could be successful, but I may never be able to do this! I've been wanting to come out to my good friend for about half a year now, and I still haven't even told her! Then, I always picture myself in the future of what life could be like for me if I handle my situation the way I want it to be, and there's happiness...But I never obtained that happiness yet, because I can't even enforce myself to take initiative...
I can really relate to how you described yourself...so much so that i decided to become a member so i could reply. i think it'd be a good idea to tell your good friend, because then you'll finally be able to stop holding your breath and be open and honest with someone, which'll make you happier. plus i've heard that after you tell the first person it gets a lot easier to tell others. you do seem like a very self-conscious person. i'm the same way...so much so that i don't feel comfortable at school or even at the store or the gas station, there is just this constant anxiety that's hard to get rid of. i missed a lot of school, cuz at my school it's waytoo easy to skip, so my parents actually made me go to a psychiatrist cuz they thought i might have "school phobia," an illness they invented. the guy said i had social anxiety disorder, aka social phobia, so he gave me a prescription for paxil, which relieves anxiety. i've been taking it for about 2 months, and it's actually helping a lot. i always used to say i'd be so happy if i could just be socially average instead of the bumbling fool i considered myself, and at least i think i'm past the fool stage. if you think anxiety may be the root of your problem, there are lots of ways to get help. the phsyciatrist also gave me this whole positive thinking worksheet thing that helps whenever i'm feeling really self-conscious. the fact that you "have so many ideas and analysis that could be successful" and you're "trying to be wary of my actions and surroundings" makes it sound like you are thinking way too much about this shit. i totally understand where you're coming from, cuz i've been there, but i've think you've got to lighten up and just start trying things. you're on the right track, just keep getting out there in social situations and practicing.
yeah, but it seems that your self consciousness is at a WAY unhealthy extreme...not wanting to be at school or around anyone is not having a balance...
do what is comfortable for you. I personally feel much better since I have admitted it to myself and came out to my closest friend. When I first started debating my sexuality in 8th grade i sank into a deep depression and locked away any feelings that weren't "normal". Up until recently I gradually got better until I had enough confidence to think about what I truly wanted. Your not alone in your confusion and self doubt. My advice again, is to wait until you ready. Don't force yourself to do anything. If you think you'd like to boost your confidence a bit more first, do that. If you feel that your ready to burst out of your shell I wish you nothing but luck! Peace & Love
