would you go for someone who just got out of a relationship???

i think i posted soemthing like this before, (and im really sorry if ppl may be getting annoyed b/c i post the same type of problems)
tho awful things may happen cuz of our cliques, i want to approah him and tell him how i feel, altho i heard you shouldnt if someone jus got out of a relationship
is this true?

story is this is a guy who actually happens to be a friend of mine (tho were not all that closeyet,we just started speakin when drew was away from us) that i want to approach, but hes jus got out of a rela. with a girl (at our school also) that he seems to have been really crazy about.
but the thing is, when i 1st transferred here and they were going out, we also had an attraction, a very strong attraction. even tho he knew about his friend i liked back then, drew (i was trying to get over him with drew) and still now, its still that attraction since september and it hurts so much its even killing our friendship..

 

I'd try talking to him about it but first I'd ask myself a couple questions.

Is he giving you signs that he maybe interested in you?

Does he call you or make an effort to see you?

If he isn't giving any signs then I say call him. Invite him over or to go out. Sound casual about it. Give him a chance to get to spend time with you before you rush into anything.

If the attraction was once there maybe by hanging out with one another again it will come back, maybe sooner than you think.

I wish you well.

 

I think it depends how the breakup went down. If it was painful and brutal and probably left some emotional scarring, he probably needs some time before jumping into another one.

But if it seems like he's handling alright, then why not approach him? But I would advise you to take it slowly, he might not be ready for anything too intense yet. (just like Peanuts already pointed out lol Peanuts you always have such good advice! You're like an internet mommy for us!!!)

 

Thank you.

 

i must agree with super_grl, this is great advice and i hadnt even asked myself these questions, which i have to tell a little more of the story.
lets see, were in the same hall after a class and have a class together. to be honest, i had always felt shy around him b/c i knew he was taken and i tried to be as subtle about my feelings and even more honestly, if he hadnt approached me we probally wouldnt be friends now. i acted withdrawn to him, and he did pick up on it so...yea thats a bridge to cross on its own

 

well...that's a tough one, especially at your guys' ages. i would just try to hang out with him and be his friend. if he's just gotten out of a relationship, it might not be good for him to just jump into another. what he MAY need, however, is a good friend to talk to. if you feel comfortable talking to him, ask him if he wants to hang out sometime. if things start to develop when you hang out, then yay! it was meant to be...but if not, then at least you tried and you have gained a friend.

 

If it were me, I would start by being great friends and give him a chance to get over it and not be so vulnerable. Just take it slow and flirt a bit, but let him make the move if he wants to.

 

all is fair in love and war, especially if you are in high school. my best friend started dating my ex two days after we broke up...didnt even ask if I minded! I say if you like him and he likes you GO FOR IT!
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I would go for it.. i would just go really slow... give them time to heal

 

anyone, should i also just ignore the whole were-not-talking-cuz-im-a-dumb-ass thing...cuz i did act sort of stand-offish with him and so he's gotten the impression that im not cool with him anymore. i mean i wasnt mean, jus well quiet. should i just forget about how our friendship is now and jus start talking to him (out of no where)...?

 

Just spend some time by yourself and really dedicate a few hours to thinking about things, write down your feelings. Think about what you wrote and give the guy a call, if its killing you, you should. But don't listen to any of your friends either (not saying you do).

 

*sigh* today i figured i have to get over it...its seems they havent broken up or did and are still close or s/t. i did sneek up behing him give him a snug hug 2day for the 1st time, i saw him kiss her on the cheek and they were cuddling.

eh, i dont kno if their still a couple its possible they arent i guess and even tho we flirt im thinkin its a lost love lost cause. i got my hug and i kno my hair smelled excellent (someone told me so) and my birthday is tomorrow so im gonna enjoy things and not let it get me down, im so stranger to a broken heart so. maybe in the future...i dont kno it kinda hurts

 

Speaking from a guys point of view,I'd probably be pritty volunrable and go with the flow(mean'n if we were attracted to one another-go with it!) But then I relise that not all guys think the same,and they even act different. Just take your time in what ever you do-this way you'll be safe(no head games be'n played)-you won't get hurt. Time ! and at your age you have plenty of. Best to ya!

 

thanks, oh and to bring life back to my thread, an update, they arent together. not like im a vulture waiting for a relationship to die (that'll be desperate) but i cant help noticing, i am attracted to this guy after all, and now i see more signs of it being real- that hes attracted to me as well, which is nice ot finally know. its jsut alwyas that fear of a maybe they'll get back together or whatever. uncertainty is a pain, but somehow hes worth it, i just dont kno exactly how to handle it, nor can i plan for such an occasion