questioning my sexuality

i am gay i have decided since i was a young child. however i have had boyfriends and i have done things with guys but i have also had a very bad experience with them as well. i was wondering what you guys thought..am i gay or am i just afraid of the same thing happening again. i mean i love girls dont get me wrong i know i am at least bi-sexual but i was wondering if you think fear can make you think you were gay. i dont know i think i am but is it possible that i am not? i have always liked girls much better than guys but what if it is because of the one experience? what should i do and how can i be sure?

 

I don't think fear could actually shift your sexual preference. However, i'm not sure. Perhaps, because you are bisexual, your bad experiences with boyfriends causes you more to avoid men, therefore putting more emphasis on your female preference. Hope that helps somewhat.

 

mmmm...id give it more time to think about it

ur only 17, just chill on the subject...im sure someday ull be certain of who you are.

im 17 too and i am so lost on all aspects of my life (im not gay, but im definitely confused wiht love in general)...we have so much left to experience and decide for ourselves

dont worry if you dont know now...itll come.

in the mean time, just be with whoever u want to be with. dont let fear run your life

there is only one of you for all time...fearlessly be yourself

 

sexuality is in constant evolution

and it's the same even for gays...the gender of the partner might not change over the years, but they'll like someone more masculine, feminine, older, or younger depending on where they are in their life...

so i wouldn't focus so much on "gender", or feel bad for wanting guys right now...it's just a different kind of partner you need at the moment

 

i kinda understand what you mean.

i came out as gay, even tho i still had some attraction to women - i just used 'gay' as a label that people could recognise.
My friends kinda only would want to talk about guys and gay stuff with me that i, in a way, neglected my more "hetero" side - and that kinda made me more confused. I ended up only hanging out with girls and trying to fill the "stereotypical gay" mould, which was such a silly thing to do, but at the time i didn't really know what to do. But now i know what i like and am way more comfortable with myself and my identity.

So, in a way, i can see how other factors can influence your perception of your sexual identity. As time goes on, you learn more about yourself and you will be able to answer your own questions..

haha oh man, this post doesnt make sense.

 

If I do finally accept that I am gay will I ...
*automatically know what colours to decorate my room?
*lose my love of sports?
*want to get in shape and wear designer labels?
*become a bitch?
Sounds dumb but I have seen a kid from my school go from looking and acting normal one day to being quite camp after he came out. Why does this happen?

 

^^ lol good one

 

yeah it is weird and dumb.. i guess it's part of trying to belong to a group

 

You are probably bi but you are whether you like it or not still for the most part and in many ways a boy. I don't mean to patronise you or downplay your experences. I mean I have never been a male. I have been a teenager though. I know that the first few times things happen to you it's crazy hard to deal with at the time. Even though you dont want to though, you will get more jadded, and more life experences over years and years will mellow you out more and more. When men are mean to me I feel like forgetting about them at times too. I have had some shitty things happen to me. We all do sweetie. I hope that you will find jsut the right person for you reguardless of their gender. "When I am in times of sorrow mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be." The Beatles

 

hey yall know im a girl right?

 

haha yeah i thought you were a girl. But I wasn't sure after i read the other posts... made it sound like you were a guy.



Anyway, has any light shed on the subject for you, charlie? Still feel confused?