A cheese story of space musicians

The story you're about to read is purely fictional, and any coincidence with the living, the dead, or the too stoned to know the difference, is etc etc.


ACSOSM.

We were going to do our second concert in space station 02-3 close to the asteroid belt near Saturn, and I was a bit nervous since our band leader (Lead vocal and rythm guitar) liked to brag openly in the bars were the other bands hanged out.

"We are the best" he would say almost as if challenging the other bands who also played this latest music called Zo. No one would say anything as he paraded from table to table, as if seeking a challenger or a fight. I had never heard those other bands, not being a great fan of Zomusic, yet Billy had been a sound-man for many bands before and he knew that indeed we exceeded their talents, but why was he acting this way? Did he like to start fights like elektor the pirate? I met Billy when Yjess introduced me to him, beacause he was looking for a lead guitar player. I needed the practice and the experience so I agreed and he took me in. We began rehearsing every single day for hours right after work.

Billy had forced the manager to get us a gig since we had been rehearsing for months, and so far we had done only one gig. "what am I doing in this band of modern sounds, and what's next" I would find myself repeating everyday, yet still going like clockwork to the rehearsals.

My wife was suspecting I was going to the hip asteroids to pick up groupies and stuff, and that anoyed me to no end, since she knew how serious I was about my music. She would be the reason why I would in the end quit that band, when we had been already scheduled to play in the Astrodome, where the Aklien band played when coming to earth for the first time.

That famous Astrodome could hold a million people, but before the Akliens, no music had been played there . The band had aquired universal fame in no time, and everyone with good taste in music was there that day. Their fame continues to this day although rumors of a break-up are spreading.

Although many other bands would be present,at our concert, it was sure that by deafult we would become famous just for playing there at the Grand Astrodome. "me getting stuck with these guys forver" was my thought, and I could notice an inner part of me already planning an exit.

The Astrodome had been mainly for games, but when something big was coming, they would use it because it could hold a overly large audience of spectators, and with the view of the moon so near, it attracted millions, year after year.

I could not believe that only after playing guitar for four years I would be playing there; but I had worked very hard for an opportunity like this and I was very serious about my practices.

Everyone on earth loved the Aklien band, but then again, so did everyone in the System. It was amazing watching what some musicians can do with four hands.

But today was another thing- we needed exposure, and we were going to play a simplest gig where everyone starts out...Space station 02-3.
That hang-out of pirates and cut-throats, and I was getting a bit nervous, because I could not predict Billy and his oversize ego, and I knew pirates very well, because there was one time they helped me, and I became a regular at their parties until one day I almost got killed when the pirate named "Elektor" started a fight in someone else's territory and we all got creamed.

After that it was all over...I missed the great parties, but now it was over, and I had to do a so-high, and I would be a pirate's friend no more, "you only get killed" once as they would say. "Elektor" was too much to handle, and I never like him, although the others were somewhat funny and cool.

Bill knew nothing of the pirates way, and his life had been only hard work and study while supporting a very greedy wife, whom I could safely assume was also cheating on him, since he would go from his job to the studio daily, and when he mentioned her, it sounded more like and enemy than a wife. My wife was no saint, although I never did marry her, our situation was quite different.

Now we are at the station and we need a platform, since our band leader
needs to be higher than the audience, and wont play without one.....*what weird thing is Billy gonna get us into?*

I had this funny feeling in my stomach, and one of my buddies game a pill to calm me down, and now my hands felt started to get very weak..."what kind of pills were that?" I asked myself, since Runn had the reputation of giving people unexpected surprises when turning them on.

Once a friend needed and upper and he gave him a downer, and all he could do was sleep for wholle week. When he got up, his wife was gone, child and all.

Jyess told me that story and pointed to him as we watched him hanging out
so inocent and non-challant in the park one sunny afternoon. Sometime later we all became friends and did a lot of hanging out with them until I joined the rehearsing band. They would come also to watch the rehersals, and see if they would be allowed to jam a little, but the leader was like a robot in that area and perhaps in more areas.

Meanwhile people are gathering pieces of materials and building a small stage for Billly and his grand ego, and I am hoping that my weakness will be over by the time we start playing....

To be continued....(if anyone thinks its worth it)

 

That's quite good Hari. I like to see a bit of imagination, colors, atmosphere, style. Go for it. I would like to see more. It's not brilliant, but it's better than watching Rory Bremner.

 

Its a bit like the scene from Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy where the loudest band in the universe are going to play

 

I have to confess I have never written a story before except when I illustrate graphic novel style, but never just words. This is my bare begginning, and I'm glad to do it around more experts around to get advice and tips, so feel free to do so. Also I have never read novels or classics.

We're talking raw here.

I just have stories to tell; perhaps as simple as I can.

 

Thanks.

It's my first attemp at writing, so I'll be adding little pieces in between, and fixing some gramatic errors to what's above, and if I'm up very late, I shall write the rest.

Comments of any type are welcomed.

 

Oh well write some more and we can tell you if you are going to be the next George Orwell, or the next Jerry N. Forbes

 

lol

 

Go with the flow, Hari. To become a great writer you have to either really love people, or really hate them. Either way, it's what you perceive, analyze, and put down in words that will transcend you as a writer. The typical shitty cliche that clueless people (with no knowledge beyond scraps of information) like to flash about is : "Believe in yourself!" What a load of shit. Believing in yourself will not make you anything, apart from having a nervous breakdown when reality eventually caves in. Determination will get you a fair chunk of the way, ambition sometimes even more when it is constant and inventive, but your fuel for the whole course will be "love for what you are doing". If you enjoy, and love what you are doing, if you enjoy reaching out to people, and sharing some of your vision with them (not necessarily dictating like some teeny abstract college dropouts, who see themselves as authors on the strength of one strong composition, which a tutor gave good marks to), if you care about your art or your writing, then you are bound to do well, maybe not always, but every now and again you will know when you hit the mark, just like writing a good post in the forums. Fame and fortune are the byproduct of art, not the other way round. Having said all that shit, I look forward to learning from you also, Hari, but don't worry too much about grammar. When we tell a story in a bar, not many of us worry about grammar. The ones that do, tend to stand round the bar alone.

 

I do apreciate this kind of advice, and warning so thanks.
Have you published any work, or attempted to?

Except for here I don't think I would attempt to publish anything ever (or will I?) I did have drawings published at 17, and that was a thrill, plus I used the money to go to rock dances, so it was a good thing in its proper time.

 

it's not bad, definently shows lots of creativity, I am enticed to see where it goes form here...

the only thing I would suggest, is try to make it seem more casual
try to make it seem like these are everyday things to me
in the beggining especially it seems too much like you are introducing these ideas to me
and a littl ebit more description couldn't hurt

 

I guess I am trying to tell the story as one would tell a friend in a casual conversation, something he would not know until you tell it.

I think a novel that takes two pages describing what a room looks like, is dreadful,(and why I don't read most things published) and that kind of detail just shows lack of meaningful plot, and slows down the pace... and who ever talks like that in real life?

Still I don't know if this was your point.

 

thass what I mean
it's not casual seeming enough
it seems like you are talking to someone from Earth in the 21st century, not someone that exists within the universe of the story


and too much detail is boring
but a little imagery here and there is very helpful at drawing people in and kicing off their imagination
you said you usually do graphic pieces
you want your words to assist the reader in illustrating it in their own mind
at least for me, the panels of my mind were left pretty blank and bland

 

Very well, sounds fair...since I haven't had that much practice in writing just words, and this has turned out like a simple draft, I'll see what can be done.

Perhaps that first page can be the epilog (SP) of the story.

Nevertheless, what do other writers here think about that same topic?
Agree or disagree about the lack or nessesity of more detail?

 

hmm
as for the imagery, I try to make it so that if someone was reading my story, they would get similar imagery to the stuff my mind automatically creates

and as for both the casual-ness and the imagery, maybe reading some Philip K Dick or Ray Bradbury would help to inspire you a bit
just look up a few of their short stories if interested, both are relaly good at putting you in the world of the story

most of all though
keep at it
experience is key when it comes to writing
write as much as you can to gain as much as you can

 

I am inspired to maybe cover that which I have avoided so long for lack of time or interest. So many comic books, movies and tv can spoil one's patience, and add to that not living in the country or places of great peace.

The pace of my life after 18 has been like a fast race, but now begginning to slow down. ...just give me time.

Ray Bradbury?, mmm....

 

I personally, would go with Dick myself (but I am bias, as I fell in love with him at first sight of Bladerunner)
but Bradbury works I guess =P

 

What else has he written? (Dick)

I used to watch the Ray Bradbury show, but have not read any of his works as I have already expressed.

 

Minority Report, Bladerunner, Total Recall, Paycheck, Sleepers were all based on a Philip K Dick stories
as well as Next, a movie starring Nick Cage that is coming out next month

a book of his A Scanner Darkly was made into an amazing animated movie (of the same name) starring Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, Woody Harrelson, and Robert Downey Jr.

apparently he has 44 books and 120 short stories floating about out there
his work is quite amazing

 

I was impressed with Total recall, although not pleased with Arnold's acting; however, the sets and plot of the movie was what I think as a good idea for A STORY.(making people question if they really know who they are indeed)

I've had this idea (not told yet) for more than a decade even before The matrix, and although they did put some concepts there, the whole of it hasn't been done yet.

 

Scorpion is absolutely right in what he says. Too often I meet people who want to have creative work published. I know a lot of people who make a living from painting, music,photography, writing, etc etc.
One thing those people have in common is that they dont need to ask whether what they are doing is good, and thats because they have spent many years perfecting the techniques they employ in being creative. Its easy to see the work of a famous painter as just being a painter at work, but it isnt. Art is a trickery where you find techniques you can employ and then perfect them - two or three simple techniques within whatever creative field you are going into should interest you so much that you can use them and perfect them and add to them

Yep scorpion is right - people should realise you either have a talent or you need to work many years with a lot of dedicated hard work to get that talent. If youre not naturally gifted then 10 years dedication is about enough to see your sweat turned into money - but its a gamble - it may never happen - I know many who make their money as creators and I know just as many who had to give up the persuit through lack of imagination, lack of talent, or just the fact that they were unlucky

Art is a gamble -

Carry on writing but remember - other people will let you know how good you are and the cruellest critic always likes your story - the best critics are those who try to dissuade people for their own good from trying to be a great - youre either born great or you work for it - or you accept that youre not great - thats how the world of art works. Publishers, recording companies, art houses, etc etc these people employ artists for one reason alone - to make money. They are not in the business of educating you and nourishing your creative sensibilities thats up to the artist . they are interested in how much money they can make from your work so it had better be REALLY GOOD!

I always thought that film was called "Total Retard" !!!!! ha ha ha

Glad you know your philip K Dick history, duck, but the list of films that he either wrote or inspired is truly truly enormous - as you probably know, the ones you list are just the very tip of the iceberg