a girl from "the family"

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no this has nothing to do with insest. i met this women from this strange religious group called "the family." I think they live in communes. she acts like she loves me(or is in love with me), but i heard that allot of people from this group use "flirt fishing" techniques. in other words they flirt with people to get them to join there group. my question is this: do people from "the family" still flirt fish(if you know)? do you think that what this girl is doing is flirt fishing? and if yes how far do flirt fishers usually go to get you to join there group?

 

I would think that the best thing to do, would be to try to have a relationship with her, completely seperate from this organization
the more she tries to bring it into it, the more you resist and tell her you want no part of it
things prolly won't work out, but if you feel up to the task, I would say it's worth a try

 

I don't know about the flirt fishing. It would only be a matter of time before she expects you to join up. I wouldn't even bother but then again I try to keep away from religious fanatics in general.

 

agreed

 

well i deffinately normaly keep away from any wierd stuff like that. the thing is that she is real hot. i also dont know wether the love that she feels is real or not.

 

If you're just considering her "hotness", don't you think it's a little too much to ask for her "real love"?

Chances are you haven't even gotten to that stage yourself?

 

thats not tue. -i did everything for her-i spent all of my money taking her out. when i tried to talk her out of her cult, i was always the one that came to her apologising when she got hurt because of my words.

yes i was attracted to the chick, but i think that it is natural when a chick is hot and very nice to you or?

 

So I would try and get me some. I would also make sure not to fall in love with her. Let's find out how much she wants to convert you.

 

^agree

^ too late

i dont really care about that-if she wants me to join her group i can always say "no." I'm interested in wether that chick is serious or shes just pretending in order to get me into the group.

 

This took me all of 4 seconds. Why don't you check out what she is into BEFORE you worry about the other stuff?
http://www.religioustolerance.org/fam_love.htm

 

Spending all your money on a girl means nothing these days. It just means that you have money. So what? You talking her out of her "cult" means that you're being extremely intolerant of her beliefs. That's highly unattractive. (usually)

Anyway, I hope you find your answers and it gets better.

 

dude the family is a religious group based on free love ...or it was,
crazy orgies and shit.....
I saw a documentory on it a while ago,
jumpon that shit head first!!!!!

 

^ you think i dont know all that!!?? i know it!!! people in the group used to screw kids and shit!! now they dont do that anymore(read about it on wikipedia.), but yeah thats why i am talking her out of the cult!!

what i said to wizarddrew77 answers what your saying. that cult is just wrong, you cant tolerate abusive groups. and no i dont have a lot of money but i spent the little i had on her. i did this out of love. i am trieng to talk her out of the cult out of love. friends that dont care for you talk about you and dont talk to you about your problems. fake friends dont try to talk you out of doing things that may damage you.

 

I'm not sure I agree (though it's really up to you to decide). Here's just a couple of cents.

You're not her father or her older brother. And you controlling her or trying to tell her what she should and shouldn't do is plain creepy. Think about it - Is she going to listen to some dude she hit it off with once who has wikipedia knowledge or at best, an outsider's superficial, and immediately condeming viewpoint of her entire upbringing and spirituality?

Who do you think you are? (rhetorical question. I don't mean to be rude.) It's like me telling you that you look ridiculous in pants. "Why don't you wear a polka dot skirt? You look far better in a polka dot skirt because where I come from, all men wear polka-dotted skirts. You should do it!" If you can't see yourself with her, let her go. Don't try to play god with someone's spiritual beliefs. A friend would respect her decisions. She's not murdering or killing people, hurting, stealing or influencing others to do these things. It's none of your business.

Another question also - have you asked who are these people writing the accusatory articles about "The Family" on the site wizarddrew pulled out? What's to stop other fanatic christian denominations from squabbling amongst themselves, pointing fingers and writing all sorts of bogus material?

What exactly do you know about this girl, and her family, and her life, her friends and who she is as a person? Just some things to think about, mate.

 

I agree with Hanna, yet again

 

I can't tell you whether or not to continue trying to dissuade her from her path in life. However, I did study "the Family" quite a bit for a term paper I wrote. Definitely doesn't make me anywhere near an expert, but here's my 2 cents anyway. Most of the people who accused the family of Sexual abuse were children who were raised with the group and came forward once they were of legal age to leave the Group. (not that you have to be a certain age to leave the group, but they had to wait until they were legally adults to leave their parents.) At least one notable case in which a young man (18 or 19, I believe) Left the group, filed charges, and couldn't live with the memories of what had been done to him as a child. He ended up making a video telling all of the horrible things that were done to him (as far back as he could remember, but the members of the group told him it was from birth) murdering his childhood nanny and then taking his own life. Can't remember the guy's name, will try to find it and get back to you.

 

Found it. His name was Ricky Rodriguez. Here is the rolling stone archive of the article. http://www.xfamily.org/index.php/Image:RollingStone-June2005article-pg2.jpg
There is also a whole website for former members of the group who were sexually abused. http://www.movingon.org Sorry, I know this wasn't exactly on the original topic, but just in case anyone's curious.

 

BTW- here's an article on "flirt fishing" You may want to read it. http://www.movingon.org/article.asp?sID=1&Cat=9&ID=2441

 

i thought this was about the mafia.

 

I read those links. I also read Mene's story. It truly broke my heart. However is this "Berg/Mo" still alive? Is "Maria" still alive? These were the children in the center who were related to the key figureheads that were so brutally abused (it appears).

Honestly it still doesn't mean you have a right to go barging into this girl (whom you like)'s life, demanding she leave to follow you. Some things are tragic and very sad, and unless you know of serious abuse going on, you may report it to the authorities. People are, for the most part, more aware about child abuse and taking measures against it today. If you feel you need to intervene, that is up to you. However I can't say whether or not I agree with it (your situation).

You sense you're being "flirt-fished", at least you are aware of it, yes? Whether or not you enter their group is your choice. However, if she wants to engage in this practice, it is equally her choice. Just because she "flirt-fishes" does not mean she is a terrible person. Religious clubs go through periods of evolution too. If those figureheads of the 70s are dead now and their "messiah", Ricky, left them long ago, how do you know the group is the same as it was in the 70s or 80s?