Hi, I'm 16, male and I live in the UK. I'm bisexual, although I'm more attracted to men then I am women. I love men a lot, and would desperately like to be intimate with a man. But the problem is; I have an irretractable foreskin. This causes massive problems for me, as I feel as though I can't have sex with it. What do I do? It hardly retracts at all. I'm a natural bottom anyway, so it wouldn't stop me having sex that way, but I'm scared no guy would find me attractive. What can I do? I'm still a virgin, and am looking for a boyfriend, but what do I do about the whole sexual issue?
First of all, we're all aware your hormones will be raging at your age, but even so, don't the feel the need to yield to peer pressure in order to lose your virginity. I didn't lose my Straight virginity until I was 23, and my Gay virginity until I was in my mid-40s. All your mates will probably be going on about their sexual exploits, when the chances are that they're still virgins too, and not yet even accepted their true sexualities. As for the problem with the foreskin, there are 2 possible points: 1. It could be that you are still developing (it can often take much longer than expected to fully get through puberty & not unknown for it to last as long as until 19 - 20). No doubt you are masturbating on a regular basis, but rather than using short, rapid strokes, try to make, longer, slower strokes. Not only will this often make the experience more pleasurable, but over time it can help with the full development of the foreskin. 2. If the above doesn't help, or if the phimosis is too serious, then see your G.P. He / she will probably prescribe a steroidal cream first to see if it's possible to encourage growth of the foreskin. This can be quite enjoyable to apply if you do so whilst masturbating, as it makes for a good lubricant. 3. Finally, if all else fails, then the next step may have to involve circumcision although, if you're lucky, as in my own case, you may not need a full cut, if a partial one will suffice. My own circumcision was brought about by a cycling accident where the handlebar stem gashed the foreskin, requiring stitches (I dread to think what might have happened if the foreskin hadn't been there to protect the glans from taken the full brunt). However, the scar would keep splitting under the strain of masturbation / sex & re-healing, resulting, over time, in it acting like a drawstring & pulling the foreskin in until, like yourself, it became difficult to retract. Eventually I had no choice but to undergo a circumcision, but the surgeon said that he would be able to remove the problem area, leaving most of the foreskin intact, so if it comes down to your having to undergo surgery, it might be worth discussing this with your surgeon - unless, of course, you want a complete circumcision. Just remember, though, it can be removed at any time. If you have a partial cut, then it can be completed at a later date, should you so choose, but it can never be put back.
Woooh, slow the roll !! The last thing you want is to be totally cut. Ask a doc about a "dorsel slit." It's a lot less dramatic and you will keep most of your nerves that would be removed via a circumcision. A total circ is like throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
