addicts

how many of you deal with boyfriends/girlfriends addicted to some kind of substance.

my fiance is a cokehead. usually he keeps it fairly under control, a couple times a month, which is no biggie for me. but lately it's been escalated and he acted like a complete fuckin dick last night. said it's the booze talking but I'm not buying it.

I'm pissed. not in the angry emotional pissed kind of way but in the I've had it and thats it.

If he doesn't quit, I'm breaking off our engagement, and focusing on school. I'm in an honor society. I make straight A's. I'm gonna make something out of myself. I'm not so sure he will ever come around, grow up, and put mature shit before druggin and just having fun.

marrying out of love. thats what I thought, but hows the shit gonna hit the fan when he blows all our goddamn money and we're ready to move out on our own!!

 

my bf is an alcoholic and he is 5 years younger than me, we have been together for 7 years and the first 6 were sheer hell. i used to drink right along side of him but as the years progressed we both became such angry drunks and we started treating each other like shit,until in november i simply had enough. although we fall off the wagon every now and again we have managed to eliminate alcohol from our lives and it was because we both wanted to treat each other better. he came home last night and i knew he had a few drinks i was pissed because as he said "i slipped" i wished i had slipped too, but needless to say i got over it and we moved on.......my point of this jargin is it can only get worse if nothing is done now....he is obviously increasing his intake and with cocaine the addiction becomes stronger and the funds start to get depleted a bit quicker. HE must be the one who wants to stop. take it from me i nagged and bitched for 6 years and it never happened but then one day he realized it was either boose or us, and although i never made him choose he finally decided to quit on his own.he has a few here and there and once in a while when we need to get away from each other and really tie one on he stay over a friends house and we get it out of our systems..if you are having issues at this stage of the relationship you defiantly need to get ahold of the situation now. if he chooses to continue his drug abuse then he choose to do it without you..no one should be put through that shit especially while battling cocaine. you are way too young to be dealing with that shit.

 

ive had 2 relationships with coke addicts...never ever again
chances are your not aware of 1/2 of what hes up to, coke makes ya lie, coke makes u not care whos hurt
& being involved with a coke addict can be pure hell..
for example.. months can go by, him claimming hes quit, everything seems really wonderful, then a few hopurs away from eachother, he gets a bag, & wham everythings shot to hell..
it takes only 1 night to destroy montyhs of work, i will never ever date another addifct, or even a recent addict, if they havent been clean at least a year or 2 theres too big a chance they'll fall rihht back into it the 1st time u argue or are late for a date or whatever,

im not saying u should break off an angagement, arfter all yu want to make a commiytment for life right? but if thats wghat u want then he needs to do thre same & make a commitment for life to being clean, & u can support him in that but make sure hes making progress & stsys focused..& dont get married till hes clean 2 years at least

 

Most of the time they do not quit, thats why they call it an addiction. The problem is it involves dumping not just a drug but a group of friends as well. Not many people can break away. Its usually, oh I am going to hang with my friends but I won't be using, leading to the usual disappointment. I have been through this in the past and treatment along with avoiding old friends is a good sign its on the right track. Only you can decide what you want out of life.

 

I struggle with my coke addiction, I pick up a quarter every week end. I wake up, rip a line, go to work, on break at work I rip lines. At home I rip lines, I've learned to eat while my body wants to reject food. My parents don't even know, neither does any of my friends. I've been doing this now for a good 7 months, trying to stop is unthinkable, I am not sure of which step to take now. Everythign seems fine, my girlfriend and I have a wonderful relationship. I'd never ever think of disrespecting any female, especially not my girlfriend or mother. The way I was raised, if I ever talked back to my parents I'd get a smack in the side of the head. I can see my self withering away now though, I don't have much energy as I use to, I'm still quite fit, I work out and eat healthy, but I can't stop using my precious yayo. Everything fits when I take the line, It enhances my day, and no one has notice, I hope no one ever does until I can figure this out. Why your boyfriend treated you like garbage? I have no clue, I never lose my temper no matter what, he must just be a prick, even when I'm drunk I never yell or even think to disrespect or cuss at my loved ones. Sounds like your boy has just been brought up bad, or is my family weird?

 

Your addiction just hasn't progressed to here yet but you are on your way. No one can avoid the fall out and eventually you will wonder what happened to the man you remembered yourself as.

 

I have the same problem. I seen this thread so i thought ill just add in.

I like this person a lot a lot a lot, i never knew he had a drug or even depression problem until he started getting close to me. I only suffered from depression so i knew what one felt like, but not the other. I wanna calm him down and try to help him the best i can but its impossible online and he lives hours away from me. It kills me that hes either drunk or high every day and hes still young. its destroying his life and all im doing is crying every night because i dont want him to go away forever when he has someone who loves and cares about him a lot. i just want a night where hes sober but its difficult online again.

Im thinking about for spring break, going where he lives and try helping him out for a week. My thought is he just needs someone to snap him out of his, be mean to him, but also loving and caring, i know he has feelings for me and i know he wants to see me so im going to do it just to help him out some cause i think i can slow him down a bit before its too late. he acted volient on me once calling me a whore, slut, bitch, and it hurt me a lot but I knew the coke was doing it to him cause he cant remember what he did. thaats probably the only time he showed it... but other then that, hes really nice and funny and very very handsome and a beautiful person. I dont really care what he takes just not all the time. it breaks my heart

 

I don't think so, unlike many other people bestowed upon earth, I like to train my mind and meditate. As much as I like to live my daily life I always take time out to clear my thoughts. I keep telling my self that this is just a phase but I can't quite seem to snap out of it. I am 100% sure I will never resort to disrespecting any body, I'm just not like that, nor will I ever be. I live life how I want to and no matter who you are I'll always be kind, It's just how I want to be and no drug can change that and if you've seen this happen then I'm sorry a drug has destroyed some one close to you. I'm very aware it can get the best of my personality but I always have time to stop and think of what my actions are even when I am coked out. "Life is short, so love what ya got, you might get run over or you might get shot". I'm a very weird person but what I am saying is the truth, 7 months of habitually railing coke everyday, and no one has noticed. If you are wondering where I get the money, I am a coop student for an accounting firm. I attend brock university.

 

be careful, very careful..this has alot of potential to become a very abusive relationship..if u cant get him to even try to help himself BEFORE you go see him, then i wouldnt go see him it could just turn into something pretty ugly

 

with coke addiction, the 1st lie we tell is the lie we tell ourselves
that makes all the other lies so much easier

"it wont change me"
"i'm still exactly the same"
i'll never_____"
"noone even notices"

then when ppl notice the change isnt it so easy to say i didnt change you did.. you just dont understand me anymore

the biggest lie of all... i can control how it affects me & can prevent all the negative affects


good luck..youll be able to "snap out of it" only when u stop the deafeatest attitude & stop sayin "i cant seem to snap out of it"
you just have to say to yourself enoughs enough & make a commitment to never using it again..it might mean a complete lifestyle overhaul for several months or more, but if u have the willpower to meditate & stuff you should apply it to where its needed & make resisting those urges be a part of that meditation, which can be a constant thing..

 

I have quit, I quit for 2 months and I vowed to never use it again. Right now in particular, at this moment in time I don't want to stop. Not for this month anyways, I'd explain my situation, but there is no need to. I just wanted to let this person know that because some one abuses a substance doesn't mean it was the drugs fault entirely. It didn't make him into a foul mouth loser, he made himself into it. No matter what this drug DOES to me, it will not make me abusive. It may make me less active in my daily duties, it may make me tired, maybe I won't have any will to see my loved ones. I've noticed all of these things, but thats not my arguement. I hope you're able to comprehend what I mean, I sure understand you, you're right, but oh have you never been so wrong. Some things people just don't understand, "other people". So please do not think you know how this works at all, every one lies to themselves whether they fiend for cocaine or they are sober. If you really believe that ALL minds succumb to substance abuse then unfortunately you're very closed minded. I've made my say, maybe I just have a stronger mind than others. I actually would rather rail coke, I dislike smoking and drinking, this is my opinion. What I am saying is true, and this is how I have been living my life, it has not affected my ability to decide from right and wrong. I make my own decisions, not some drug. I'm deeply sorry your loved ones were unable to do so as I, but I guess every one can't.

 

It's my firm belief that a drug addict should not be in a romantic relationship - they should focus on themselves and their recovery, and on forming relationships with people who are non-addicts. DO NOT marry this guy. Seriously. You can tell yourself it will get better, but it will not. If you do value your future, let him go now before you cause yourself more heartbreak. Believe me, you are young and there are so many good men out there who would love you just as much as he claims to, treat you 1000% better and kindlier, and not be addicted to drugs. Get out while you still can...

 

SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE ADDICT....7 months of doing rails and not being able to snap out of it, sounds like you are in denial......one of the main changes in behavior from a drug abuser whether it be booze, pills or caine is anger.stop kidding yourself YOU HAVE AN ADDICTION.........it has affected your ability to decide right from wrong, doing cocaine for 7 months straight ,when you wake up ,at a break from school,and before you go out, sounds like a wrong choice to me.....believe me i have been there i ws addicted to pills like you wouldn't believe and for years i used to say i can control it blah blah blah but in the end it controlled me....much as the same it is controlling you....

 

Because I chose a lifestyle I'm an addict? When it starts affecting my grades, then I'll quit. I don't need some one to point out I'm an addict. Especially some one who can't even comprehend what I've said. Are you going to graduate with an honors in accounting? Then are you getting your CA? If so englighten me with how terrible this drug is and explain to my why I still maintain an 80 average in university. Explain why my relationship is still going strong for 2 years? Explain why my father has a cocaine addiction but still manages to love my mother and hes an engineer. Don't fucking tell me what I am and what it can do to me. Some people like you were crushed by a drug and it sounds like you really have no intellect what so ever. But thank you, oh master of the fucking universe, your post was very illuminating and you have opened my eyes.

 

I was engaged to someone who was a pot head and had a gambeling addiction. He made a good living so it didn't affect the finances, but he lost his ambition for everything else in life besides pot and gambeling. We stopped going hiking, to the beach, never went on vacations anymore because he couldn't bring pot on an airplane, he stopped cleaning his house, stopped looking at things rationaly. We would break up and he would say he cut-down or quit to get me back when he was really just hiding it from me.
I smoke it too, but prob about every other night. He would smoke it from when he went to work at 5am till bedtime, like it was cigarettes. And even though we had more than we needed his gradnam was living off of social security and imo he should have been giving that money to her instead of his dealer.
I was also in a LD relationship with a violent alchoholic who refused to quit.
I ended both relationships and it was the best thing I ever did!

 

You state in your first post that you have a coke addiction and then take offense when someone else says you do. Maybe you should re-read your own posts then comment on intellect.

 

I'm not convinced that you can actually have a relationship with an addict, because I think, for the most part, you aren't dealing with the person, but with the "drug" instead.

My mother was a meth addict and died from a meth overdose. I didn't even really know her the last few years of her life because she was sooooooooo dependent on the drug...she wasn't how I remembered her being when I was a child.

 

To quote Chris Rock...

"Whatever you into, your woman gotta be into, too, and vice versa...or the shit ain't gonna work. lt ain't gonna work. That's right. lf you born-again, your woman gotta be born-again, too. lf you a crackhead, your woman gotta be a crackhead, too...or the shit won't work. You can't be like, ''l'm going to church, where you going?'' ''Hit the pipe!'' That relationship ain't going nowhere. Two crackheads can stay together forever."

 

just as i thought, are you angry?/??sure sounds like the coke talking.....oh but wait a minute you aren't an angry addict......haha . coke, crack and any othre drug does not know wealth.you are just like any other crack head who doesn't think he has a problem...you admitted yourself that you had an addiction so what fucknig part of your post don't you understand oh knowledgeable college coke boy.....the only one here lacking intelect my friend is YOU...OH AND MAYBE YOUR DAD....

 

Cocaine is a powerfully addictive drug. Once having tried cocaine, an individual may have difficulty predicting or controlling the extent to which he or she will continue to use the drug. Cocaine's stimulant and addictive effects are thought to be primarily a result of its ability to inhibit the reabsorption of dopamine by nerve cells. Dopamine is released as part of the brain's reward system, and is either directly or indirectly involved in the addictive properties of every major drug of abuse.