My 6 yr old has ADHD and while he's on meds (and they help) he still has trouble behaving. I've tried everything I can think of from time outs to deep discussions. It feels as if nothing is working. I've even spanked him a few times which I hate because I don't believe in spanking (it was a last resort and it did nothing but cause more stress on both of us). He's becomming increasingly difficult. I just don't know what more I can do! I try giving him outlets for his energy but that only works sometimes. Usually he makes a huge mess or is just not interested in the project I'm presenting to him. I need help. What are some things you guys do when your child is truly unruly? *hugs* Jess
I don't have kids, but I work with children who have autism, which is related to ADHD. I always ask, why is the child acting up? is it because he/she has sensory issues? Sensory input is more then letting the child run around. Do you have access to a trampoline or one of those exercise bounce balls? Have you tried having your son wrap himself up in a blanket and roll around with it? These are perfect to to relieve some of the sensory issues. I always found that focusing on the good things of a child is more effective than telling a child what he/she is doing wrong. POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT is better than PUNISHMENT because it yeilds better results.I LOVE token economies, which are basically tokens or physical things that are given for good behavior and are traded in for a backup reinforcer. Remember, you need to explain and model what good behavior is. Maybe your son has difficulty understanding spoken language? Some people have receptive learning disabilities. May be you could try using pictures to express your messages? When he learns how to read you could use written language. Use natural consequences because they are very powerful. for an example, if he wants to go to the park, but he didn't clean up his toys, then he doesn't go until they are cleaned up. If it becomes dark outside, then tell him that it is dark and maybe next time you will clean up your toys faster. If he tantrums, just ignore it. This is called extinction. Sometimes it can make the issue worse, but eventually the tantrums will stop. When he is tantrumming do not look at him or provide any form of reinforcement. Just being in the same room can be reinforcing. Does he go to school? If he does, does he have an IEP? Is he diagnosed with anything besides ADHD? If he is, then he could get additional supports. Good luck!
I also have no children, but I also at the age of 15 was diagnosed with ADD, the doctors were way wrong on that diagnosis, I mean way wrong. So please make sure you are dealing with a proper diagnosis. Ive known many people that were misdiagnosed with ADD or ADHD.
Thanks Bumble and Burnt. Bumble, it's funny you should mention autism. My daughter has autism and he has some characteristics but not enough to be diagnosed. I already do a lot of positive reinforcements. I'll try the other things you suggested too. BTW...the way I know he actually has ADHD is because the medication works. On non ADHD kids the meds would make them more hyper, not more calm. *hugs to all* Jessica
Have you looked into the possibility of food intolerances, or nutritional deficiences? They can cause exaggerated ADHD symptoms. Sometimes treating those underlying problems even eliminate the need for the meds. I'd look into gluten intolerance, and then casein (milk protein) intolerence. Then, if that hasn't helped to eliminate the problem, I'd look into food dyes, soy, corn, etc... Also, look into investing in a good dye-free allergen-free children's multi-vitamin. Up the water intake. Up the good whole food intake. Maybe adjust the bedtime to earlier, and give plenty of time to rest? Good for you momma, for looking into how to reach your kiddo!
I'm a strong believer in checking out food intolerances too. Red #40 has been known to cause issues specifically with ADHD kids for years. I think I'd try that before anything else... both because it's SO well-known as an irritant AND it's easier than most of the others to eliminate. My son had serious problems with physical aggression as well, and we found the Gluten-free diet has helped him immensely! It takes about 2 weeks to start seeing a change, and a full month before you know how MUCH it will or won't help... but it's another possibility. I have a few outlets for my son. The easiest way to get him to calm down & focus is actually to let him have 20 minutes "time out" with his pet guinea pig. Something about having to be gentle & quiet with a smaller creature works EVERY time for him. He can go from a total outrage-filled throwing things yelling outburst to a calm, collected kiddo - it's truly magical to watch! Other things that can help are: * S.Q.U.I.R.T - Super Quiet UnInterrupted Reading Time. Since my lil man LOVES to read, I can shout SQUIRT!!! That's the signal to grab a book, run into his room & curl up with his pillows, and read for 20 minutes. * Restart the day - Some days we just wake up all wrong. I'll set a 20 minute timer, (catching the pattern with timers in our house?) and claim that we're restarting the day. We all pile onto my bed together & pretend we're sleeping... (this usually causes plenty of giggles which is fine, so long as they're quiet) and then when the timer goes off we all pretend we're waking up for the day all over again. It's just silly enough that it works. * Bubbles. Try a bottle of soap bubbles... my son can "blow off steam" with these without causing a huge mess, and you can pack them in your purse for emergency meltdowns or when you don't have 20 minutes for "damage-control". * Crushing cans. My son has a need to just destroy things, and I haven't figured out why. When he just MUST mash things, we give him a hammer & the aluminum recycling bin. He'll take it outside & crush them all flat for us... which is actually helpful! I think part of why this works is the huge amount of NOISE it makes too... I just haven't really dug too deeply in WHY it works - it does & I'm happy with it These are the "tricks" we've found to help US the most... I know no two kids are the same, but maybe one of them might help you too? (((((((((hugs!!!))))))))) love, mom
I've been slowly converting to raw food and was thinking about having my autistic daughter do the same (she already prefers all fruits and veggies you put infront of her to anything else). My son won't be so easy to change but I've been thinking about cutting gluten out of his diet anyway or at least minimizing it (my mother makes a lot of pasta and we eat over there frequently)
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if you decide to try gluten-free it's all or nothing. We found out the hard way that stray wheat-flour crumbs hiding in the butter dish were more than enough to create an entire week of misery here. It's still a struggle with eating at my mom's house too, but when she saw the HUGE difference it made in my lil guy's life she started helping out & looking for new goodies to introduce him to.
Pasta is an easy one to deal with in my family, though we eat a lot of it. Tinkyada makes good pasta, or even rice sticks work in a pinch (or budget crunch) though they tend to be pretty slimy. Gluten free can be kinda intimidating but if you're going raw, then it just might be easier than you think.
I knew a fellow who was unmanageable as an adult. The state gave anyone $500 a month to feed and house him (which was only enough to cover his cigs and soda which he craved), Left to his own devices he would sit in a car and listen to the radio, chain smoking and getting high on soda while he talked to himself. Perhaps these people would enjoy an indestructable sony-walkman or something?
I have a 9 year old step daughter (which is an issue in itself) with ADHD that drives me and her father insane some days!!! I'll re-read these posts again when I have more time, there are some wonderful suggestions here! *hugs* ~*BA*~
Thank you everyone for the helpful info! I'm going to cut gluten out of our diet. My son eats a lot of bread (we go through 4 loves a week!). It'll be hard to completely cut it out though as my mom loves to make pasta and when we go over to her house she piles on the spaghetti or ravioli or something. Maybe if I explain to her what it does then she'll be willing to do more. I have these talks with my son every night where we talk about how his day was and spend some quality time together. Lately we've been talking a lot about his behavior and my reactions to it. We both agree that we both aren't behaving well. He seems to want to behave, just sometimes he can't stop himself. At least that's how he explains it. With ADHD that's one of the main things that doctors say. The child cannot control their behavior. I just want the best for my son. It feels like we've both been struggling with this for oh so long and it's just getting worse. I hope I can help him. *hugs to all* Jess
My step daughter eats more than I do at every meal! I've heard that increasing protein helps a lot. Maybe we should cut down on the carbs she gets too. ~*BA*~
The way your posts came by; your sounding like like you don't appreciate your step daughter all that much .. or should i say in a relationship way "don't get along"?? Of course shes going to eat more than you shes growing for crying out loud. You probably ate more than your mom and dad too. How about you evaluate your sense of ability to Take care of your role of a step parent and become a helping hand and getting to actually know what ADHD is it can play a role into many other things too. I'm a step parent and a respite provider and a enhance support worker and have done it for many years . I'm sure your husband wouldn't be pleased if he'd seen this post.
I don't worry about that whole protein and carb thing. My son eats a lot too though you wouldn't know it to look at him. Though when he's on his meds he doesn't eat as much. It's really difficult because kids tend to eat a lot when they reach growth spurts. I wouldn't try to curb her eating unless she was gaining too much weight. Then I would help to teach her a more healthy way of eating without making her feel that she's fat.
fricknfrack, The nature of my relationship with my step daughter is loving, complicated, and constantly evolving. It is also none of your business. As to the comment about my husband "not approving" of what I wrote - we have no problems discussing things like that with each other. He's fully aware of my thoughts/feelings, and I am of his, because we are both in this together. While I'm sure you may have some advice that applies here, I would think that you had better things to do than try to psychoanalyze relationships of people you don't know based on a single post on a website. There are extenuating legal, emotional, and physical circumstance that I will not share with the general public that make my family's situation less than ideal, but we are working hard to make things better for a child that has been through a lot in her short life. I came to this thread looking for help and advice, not pointless and badly-punctuated criticism. BeccaAnn
I have ADHD, I was a wild kid. Really bad, everyone told my family to give me up for adoption haha! I don't know how to raise them. But when it's time for him to study later on I can give you a tip. Read 10 minutes, and take a break for 10 minutes. We ADHD people have a short attention span. But when you take a break you can take it all in and don't need to read it a second time. We ADHD people are very difficult when we are young. But when he reaches puberty he will force himself to adapt to society and he will just be an "energetic" normal person.
Amethyst... if you want to talk about gluten-issues, feel free to PM or email me. We went gluten-free just over a year ago, and it's been a really bumpy road but REALLY worth the effort, IMHO. A few quickies... * The BEST cake mix on the planet, gluten or not is Pamela's chocolate cake mix. This is a serious addiction in our household. * Ancient Harvest Quinoa pastas are the least gooey or "weird" tasting, and at least around here tend to be the cheapest too * Check your library for a copy of Incredible Edible Gluten-Free Food for Kids, by Sheri L Sanderson... every recipe we've tried, (and we've tried about 2/3 of them by now) has been GOOD! * Save money & skip the $5 per loaf ready-made breads... they all taste just awful. If you've gotta have bread, make it yourself. Also, we haven't found a bread-machine recipe that works well... but most GF bread recipes for the oven turn out alright-ish. * Most GF crackers are either really expensive, or taste really really weird. Glutino makes a pretzel that tastes almost exactly like "the real thing" though that makes a great snack for when you're just dying for something crunchy. With Christmas right around the corner, here's a really long list of fairly "normal" candies that are gluten-free... http://www.celiaccentral.org/Volunteer/Kids_Corner/Halloween_Treats/Gluten_Free_Candy/186/ and if you like to eat out at all, here's a link to a place that lists all sorts of restaurants & their gluten-free offerings. It's by no means complete, but it helps a bit for things like road-trips & such to have an idea of what might be safe along the way: http://www.celiacsociety.com/pda/restaurant.asp Sure hope this helps a bit! Good luck! love, mom
