Advice needed from girls who know more.

Ok so I met a girl at this lesbian bar, I bought her a beer, we played pool, we talked alot, kissed, went to the toilets and made out, really made out.

We talked more, had a laugh, danced, then when she had to go, we kissed goodbye and could not stop talking.

I am meeting her on saturday, but do you think this could go somewhere or just a bit of fun?

this is my first "real" thing with a girl, so any advice would be really helpful

thank you!

blessings
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Well, why not? It seems like it's off to a promising start, yeah?

- You met at a lesbian bar, which indicates that she is interested in a relationship with a girl (as opposed to just screwing around) - I mean, it's not rock solid evidence, but it's a positive sign
- You liked talking to each other, so there might be more than just physical attraction
- And you made plans to see each other again, which is a pretty good sign that you both think there's potential

No way to tell for sure after the first time you meet someone, of course, but I think you've got reason to be cautiously optimistic. I hope it goes great! You'll have to tell us how Saturday went.

Do you know if it's her first "real" thing with a girl too?

 

ah thank you and yes i will keep you all updated.

she is 18 and she was in love a girl (sounded to me like it was unrequited), so not sure if it is her first thing like me.

thanks again for taking an interest

blessings
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my second worry is that, would i really want a relationship with her?

this is going to sound very shallow and bad, but ( i am the type of person who worries about everything, minor and major) she is quite a big girl, size 14, but good big if you know what i mean (the most beautiful breasts), i think its just my mind saying "she isnt slim there for not attractive" which is not true,knee jerk reaction type thing, i couldnt really hear what she was saying because we were in a bar so the conversation wasnt amazing, she isnt ugly at all, she has a nice face, beautiful. but she isnt typically my type, now before i sound selfish and you hate me, i want to know if i should even start anything with her in case i waste her and my time, ugh i hate how this sounds! i dont want to hurt her or be with her because i want to be with someone, or through pity, basically i dont want to be with her for the wrong reasons, is it enough that i am even thinking this? i like to be honest about everything, its hard to find the line sometimes.

on the other had we had a great time and if she wanted something more i would give it a go, we do have quite a bit in common ect. ive had a small smile on my lips ever since, i can still smell her, she is very nice and sweet, and sexy at times

one more thing, when ever anything new in my life comes up, there is a problem, i dont know if thats me and my insecurities or just my life.

this is very much my first time, so please dont judge too harshly!

should i just take a leap of faith and go for it? make the best of it? forget my worries and take what comes and have fun?

thank you.

blessings
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Whoa whoa. You're WAY overthinking this. I say go with the flow. If it ends up well, great! If not, there'll be other opportunities, right?

 

BOCKS! I miss you, honey. We should really be PMing each other.

Spirit, I think Bocks is 100% right: you're overthinking it. You've barely gotten started! Is it the end of the world if you go out with her tomorrow and things don't quite work out?

There's nothing wrong with "shallow". You're supposed to be with people you're attracted to! That's the point, right? It sounds to me like there's enough you are attracted to with this girl that you should go out with her again and see how it goes. Right?

And heck, you're 16. I'm 20. Bocks is 18. We're all going to have relationships that don't quite work out. We'll learn things from them. You have lots of relationships in your life, but you only get one (at best) that's perfect, yeah? Might as well practice. And you never know who will turn out to be That One.

I hope you go for it, honey.

 

lol yeah you are both right, i was over thinking, i always do that, but thank you so much! said just what i needed to hear .

i am seeing her tonight, i will admit with two of her friends, but i will go for it, been single for too long and i dont have any real reason not to go for it with her.

so, thank you so so much, love this forum, and wish me luck!

blessings
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LUCK baby! You better give us a full report tomorrow morning!

 

well, sadly i wont have anything to tell tomorrow, she couldnt make it tonight.

but hey, i have still got the memory of fun action in the toilets of candy bar

should i wait and see if we go anywhere? or forget it and look for someone new? because i wouldnt want to get with someone then find that she actually does want something with me.

anyway, thanks so much for your support

blessings
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Heh, well aren't you lucky? Oh yeah, this should turn out to be a great relationship. Why, I'm even smiling at this! You should defo roll with her. If you don't, you might end up as a chemistry nerd newbie like me.

 

Spirit, I was in your position a couple of years ago. I had your same exact thoughts when I met a particular woman: she was quite older than me, she was a little on the heavier side, and I just all around thought about potential flaws she had. I think that that reaction is only natural, as you've just met someone to whom you're attracted and your mind wants to rationalize the attraction in order to minimize the possibilty of you getting hurt. Does that make sense? You're feeling vulnerable because you have yet to be in a relationship with a woman, and your mind is just making sure that this girl is worthy of your time. Like Bocks said, just go with the flow and focus on the wonderful time your having. That's what I did and two years later, im still with the same girl. Only now I don't see those flaws that I saw in the beginning, but instead have love and affection for her, along with several pleasant memories.:tongue:

 

I can relate. The person I fell madly in love with was someone who used to hang around me all the time, and who kind of annoyed me at first. I didn't think of her as attractive at ALL, but I fell so, so in love with this girl. Life is full of unexpected instances.

Having said that, being single's not so bad! I was reading an article today on societal pressures. It's society's fault if we feel insecure for not being in a relationship! I'm single, and I don't feel nearly as pressured to enter into anything now that I read through that article as I had before.

So even if it doesn't work out, don't sweat it!

 

Chapfalleneyes, all that you said helped alot, and it did make a whole lot of sense to me , i am really pleased that you and your girl are happy together! its so good to know that someone else feels the same as you, just makes things alittle clearer.
thank you

Bocks, life is weird isnt it? but everyonce in a while, its brilliant weird, like what happend to you.
being single does not bother me much, its just that everytime someone comes along like this, it never goes anywhere, which is frustrating.
thanks for the advice

bloody awful timing though, i go on holiday for 2 weeks on tuesday, so i dont know whether to text her again, what would i say, should i try again when i get back, will it be too late by then, or should i just leave it all alone and see if she tries to make contact?

thanks so much again to everyone

blessings
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I'd text her to say you're going on holiday and hopefully you can hook up when you get back.

too bad she canceled last night.

It's not like you're marrying her, right? Why shouldn't you see how it goes with her,and see how it goes with everyone else, all at the same time?

 

Again, I wouldn't worry about it. I've had SOOOO many happenstances like that fall over. I think that's entirely the wrong word, but I felt compelled to use it...

 

lol ah well,

i did text her after she said she couldnt come saying i cant do next weekend (she asked if i could do next weekend) and that i am going away.

i was the last one to text so, i think its her move. she knows when i will be back.

but yeah, if someone comes along, i dont think i will wait for something that is most likely not going to happen.

lol im making it sound like its such a big thing , thanks for all your help made things smoother.

blessings!
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